


Mind and Heart

by distantstarlight



Series: Property of John Watson. If Found Please Return DO NOT FEED [2]
Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Anal Sex, Assassination, Attraction, Character Development, Consensual But Not Safe Or Sane, Consensual Infidelity, Consensual Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Dominant John, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sherlock, Established Relationship, Explicit Language, F/M, Food Kink, Friends to Lovers, Frottage, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insanity, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Control, M/M, Mental Instability, Minor Character Death, Murder, Not Canon Compliant, OOC Sherlock, Oral Sex, Painplay, Rape Recovery, Rimming, Romance, Rough Sex, Same-Sex Marriage, Scars, Separation Anxiety, Sherlock Cooking, Sherlock Holmes and Bees, Sherlock Holmes and Developmental & Mental & Physical Issues, Sherlock Holmes and Feelings, Smoking, Threesome - F/M/M, True Love, Vigilantism, Weight Gain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-07
Updated: 2013-11-07
Packaged: 2017-12-31 18:56:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1035239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/distantstarlight/pseuds/distantstarlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John are still recovering from their long separation. After their wedding they choose to have a quiet honeymoon where they meet a new friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Honeymoon

**Author's Note:**

> I had a lot of different ideas about how to approach the post-wedding lives of John and Sherlock in their new setting. This particular story was a lot grimmer than I anticipated but I felt the journey they were taking demanded it.
> 
> This story takes Sherlock and John further away from the well known characters their fans are familiar with. This story is far from light and fluffy. I've deliberately allowed Sherlock and John to begin walking a much darker path, but at least they're walking it together.
> 
> At a much later date I feel it necessary to note that many readers do NOT enjoy seeing another person enter the relationship. If you are one of those, the following stories will not be to your taste.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their first day as newlyweds. Time to begin enjoying themselves.

This work entirely inspired by this image. Whoever created it I'd love to give you credit.

The next morning began very late. We slept long and easily. The noon hour had come and gone before I pried my eyes open. John was still fast asleep, laying on his back. I admired how he looked, so calm and completely relaxed. Well. Almost completely. With a lick of my lips I tugged the sheet down carefully and set about taking care of that. With complete focus I paid attention to the hardness in my mouth. I relished the deliciousness of his cock, adored the way the head of it bumped against the back of my throat. I loved how my mouth stretched wide, how the textures of his shaft felt against my tongue. I kept it slow and steady, savoring each sensation for its beauty. I allowed my fingers to stroke over his balls and between his cheeks.

I felt his hands caress my cheek and knew I'd pleased him. I felt joy jolt through me and I groaned as his cock sank deep into my mouth again. I loved the sharp scent of him, that wonderful musk, that unique salt and sweet of him. I drooled hungrily and devoured him with increased adoration. I fell into a trance, sucking and licking him. I never wanted it to end but eventually John could hold back no longer. With a deep satisfied moan he emptied himself into my mouth and I enjoyed every drop. I eased back up to my pillow and feasted my eyes on John who was now covered in sweat and heavily flushed. I cuddled up to him and rested my head near his. “Thank you John.”

He laughed weakly, “You're thanking me? You're the one who did all the work.” I smiled and just cuddled tight. I soaked in the feel and smell of my wonderful John. There was never enough.

“Yet you weren't the only one who felt pleasure. I enjoy doing that very much. It's nearly as pleasurable as having it done to me.” John snaked his arm around me and I curled happily against my lover. “Did you mean what you said last night John. About being my master?”

John shifted around to look at me seriously. “Yes Sherlock. I meant it. I think you need it. I think I need it. You're terrible at looking after yourself and I need someone to look after. I want to be entitled to care for you when you need caring for. I know it sounds a bit odd but if you think about it it's actually very liberating for both of us. You won't have to worry about your transport. I'll do that for you.”

“Yes. Good. Agreed.” It would make life ever so easy if I could just not deal with things I considered petty intrusions but that John found so very necessary. As long as I trusted John I knew I could simply agree to any of his demands because I could feel sure he meant only the best for me. I lay my head back down and closed my eyes to continue to indulge my other senses in John.

I took in John's smell. He was sweaty and a bit stale but always delicious. I felt him with my lips. He was warm and soft. The jutting bones of his body were now covered with a thin layer of new muscle. Only a month had gone by though since our return and it would take far longer than that for him to recover all that he had lost. For now he was still spare but very well defined. I lay there for a minute. “I do need it. You're right. I can't look after myself. You've seen me try. It's a complete failure. I can't interact with other people. I'm beyond them but you understand and can translate between us. It's necessary. I can't think properly without you. Your organize everything in my mind for me, you make order from the chaos I exist in. I can still tell you the difference between over a hundred sorts of cigarette ash but I can't remember to pay the phone bill or the rent. I don't function well in the normal world but you seem to find my idiosyncrasies amusing and tolerable.”

John thought about that for a minute and I tasted the salty tang of him with my tongue. “I need someone to care for. It satisfies me, scratches the itch that drove me to become a doctor. You're a total handful too. You're always in trouble. You're always getting hurt. You're fascinating. You make everything interesting. There are no normal days with you Sherlock. There are no normal parts of you. You push the envelope in all directions and you can never tell where some of those pushes with rupture through or which ones will bounce you back on you arse. It never stops you from trying and I can't get enough of it. Every day with you is a risk. Even here in bed, it's become something more than average, we're already begin to walk down a new path, one that neither of us has been on but we both know is the right choice because we made it together. I need you to be Sherlock and I'm so happy you need me to be John. It's working out quite well so far.”

I laughed with him and felt content. We got out of bed after a bit and wandered naked to the bathroom to freshen up and take a leisurely shower. I declined clothes, opting to lounge naked but John pulled on a thin silk robe to cook in. “Don't want getting burns in the wrong sorts of places.” he joked.

I perched at the table with a cup of tea while he made pancakes. The cottage was small but perfect for us. There was just the one bedroom, the functional kitchen, a bathroom with a cast iron tub and hose shower, the laundry room and a rather smart living room. A large window over looked the property which was a short walk away from a windy beach. A small table and wrought iron chairs were set discretely in the garden. Hills and rises in the landscape made civilization seem very far away but we were only a ten minute walk from a small town. There was no television, no phone except the mobiles we'd brought with us. I was happy to be so out of touch. I felt safe and relaxed.

John sat down with me with a giant plate of pancakes with bacon. It was messy and delicious. We ate with good appetite and kissed each other until we were sticky and needing to wash up again. We giggled as we washed the dishes and elbowed each other back and forth until we were done. We went back to the bedroom and John made me get dressed after we fixed the bed. “Come on love, show me around. I want to see the beach. We didn't get half a chance last time we were here.”

“Alright John.” I agreed amiably. We needed to keep exercising and the beach had some lovely tidepools. We pulled on our coats and strolled hand in hand down the beach and began to enjoy the day. After we'd walked for about an hour we made it to the village. Though it was a short walk from town to our cottage the beach wended far and away from the road and it had taken us all that time to amble down in. “Lunch John? There's that deli you liked last time.”

“Let's eat Sherlock. Good choice.” we walked each other to the shop happily and sat at a booth inside. A young waitress came up and fluttered her eyes at me. Her makeup was slightly too heavy and a little too dramatic to suit what might have been a charming face. My eyes flickered over her and I tried not to wrinkle my nose at the over-sweet scent she wore. “What can I get for you handsome?” she flirted by leaning in to attempt to show me her bosom. I saw her lips stretching tight across her front teeth and realized she was smiling directly at me. She fluttered again. She was ignoring the wedding ring that flashed on my hand though she'd seen it.

I took in her clothes, the dramatic yet subtle make-up she wore, and the fold of money she had received from the last customer at the counter but had not had time to place in the register. She had come straight from the lady who had paid directly to us. I tried tact, “My husband and I would like to get the beef sandwiches please.” I said blandly and reached for John's hand, “Tea as well.”

Her smiled went crooked and she nodded before leaving. She looked sour suddenly, casting her eyes over the remaining collection of customers. She went directly into the kitchen, bypassing the cash register completely. John chuckled as he squeezed my fingers, “Sherlock.”

“She was flirting John. I wasn't cruel was I? I didn't point out that her stocking had a snarl in it or that her bottom had a hand print from the customer at the end of the counter. I was good!” I had been trying to be nice. The young woman had changed her falsely pleasant demeanor instantly upon realizing we weren't available to her. I could have said many things but had restrained myself for John.

John laughed heartily, “You were good Sherlock. I don't mind if you tell each and every person that we meet that we're married. Feel free to stop anyone from flirting with you. You know how jealous I am.” Oh. He had been teasing me. Oh John! I smiled happily and entertained my husband by deducing people who strolled past our window. He laughed genially as my deductions grew wildly embroidered. Soon we were both giggling madly and enjoying ourselves.

Our sandwiches were slammed onto the table in front of us. John's eyes snapped to the waitress who was looking at us angrily. I suppose being given the cold shoulder had pricked her pride but I was a little surprised with how upset she had gotten over so little, “You poofs eat up and get out. We don't cater to your sort normally.”

“Excuse me?” I said mildly. Her reaction was a bit severe for someone who had only been lightly snubbed. I would have thought someone in the service industry would be more adept at handling exposure to people they didn't exactly approve of. John's face was a study in instant fury. He stared daggers at the young woman who ignored him. In fact she hadn't paid John any mind at all! How rude. If she was going to hit on one of us she should have had the good taste to hit on both of us. John was irresistible. How dare she ignore him!

“I said we don't cater to you lot. Eat up, pay up, and leave.” That was interesting. I looked her over and glanced at John. I could see her name-tag insider her cardigan. Her fingernails were done in an expensive salon fashion and her hair had expensive dye in it. Achievable on a server's income but unlikely. Her shoes were nonsensical too. The heels were too high to be worn as practical footwear for the sort of work she did. Her uniform was standard issue though if a size too small. John looked back at me, nodded and sat back, his face set.

I looked at her and then began, “I do believe you are entirely mistaken Sharon. You in fact do cater to our sort if the three other homosexual individuals currently staring at you are to be noted. Also I have noticed that your left stocking has a run in it that corresponds to the hand print on your left buttock. I imagine it got snagged when the customer – the female customer – at the end of the counter ran her hands appreciatively over your arse. Since you were paid by the customer yet presented no food I can assume that you are prostituting yourself during your off time and use this job to advertise your availability. Furthermore your employer is standing in the rear doorway and has been since you first tried to throw our sort out the door. I do believe your comment falls under the guidelines of harassment should we choose to press charges which would be very awkward because the head of the local police is related to the owner of this business, which, thanks to your alternate job, is beginning to suffer a loss of reputation.”

She was astounded then outraged. She clearly did not know how to react to being publicly outed. She chose to go with being offended. “Did you just call me a whore? Who the fuck do you think you are? You think you're Sherlock Holmes or something? Get the fuck out of here you poofs! How the fuck did you know my name?”

The man from the back rushed out. “Sharon. Shut your gob. You're fired! Sir Holmes, I am dreadfully sorry. So dreadfully sorry.” Well at least someone was current with the news. Sharon's mouth dropped open in a way that would have earned her a few more dollars and would probably have to now that she had lost her job. Well, that's what happened when you bit the hand that fed you.

“It's actually Sir Watson-Holmes now, Mr Jameson. Pleased to see you again.” Mr Jameson shook my hand then John's. John and I had spent a week here almost four years ago. We'd come to get me away from The Yard because they were driving me mad with their incompetence. It wasn't my fault that Lestrade went away on vacation and left Dimmock in charge. That they threatened to incarcerate me had no bearing on my decision to go on a short respite. Sharon gave us a look of horrified recognition then fled the building.

“Sir Watson-Holmes, of course, it will take a bit of getting used to. The family has been buzzing about you since we'd heard you'd come back from the dead! Followed you online all this time Sir. Congratulations on your union. Bless the Queen for knighting you and your good doctor. We were ever so pleased to hear of it. We read it in the news just this morning! Please forgive us Sharon. I had no idea, no idea at all she was so biased. Or busy. Oh god, no wonder we've lost the families.” Mr Jameson was well known to me. The last time we'd been here he had helped search for two lost children I had been begged to find. He had brought food and hot drinks to everyone in the field at his own expense.

“A simple announcement in the local dailies will help you retrieve them Jameson. John my love, do you remember Mr Jameson.” John shook the proprietors hand and gave him a warm smile.

“Of course. We didn't meet directly but I do recall talking with your good lady wife, Catherine wasn't it? Your kids went to school with the two missing boys. Everyone still alright? No more accidental getting locked into mysterious bunkers?” John was a marvel. His temper was entirely gone and the twinkle in his eye was back.

Mr Jameson was very please. “Catherine will be thrilled to be remembered. All children accounted for Sir John. The parents did a walkabout and located all the secret entrances to the sea tunnels for good measure and had them blocked up. We do a sweep of the shoreline regular like to make sure nothing has become unblocked.”

“Good man. Kids are tricky little devils aren't they?” John was genial again and Mr Jameson relaxed visibly. John radiated good humored interest and Mr Jameson responded in kind. They chatted back and forth for a minute before Mr Jameson offered a diversion.

“There will be a small children's concert tonight if you're interested. I don't know if you're staying in the village or not but its on the green at half seven. Just the tots mind, but it should be sweet. The little darlings been practicing all summer break.” I smiled and he shook our hands before allowing us to finish our meals. He bustled back one minute later with fresh tea and two pieces of chocolate cake. “You need feeding up Sirs! On the house, the entire meal of course. Congratulations again.”

“Well that wasn't half bad.” remarked John and I laughed. “What! We got sandwiches. You got to go off on some strange waitress. We got cake. Pretty good I'd say.” Well he was right.

We fed each other bites of our cake until everything was gone. The tea was excellent and John left a tip on the table. We decided to stroll about town to see what was available before we used the road to walk home. John found a small bookstore and immediately lost himself in the search for something to read. I admired his studious face as he read slipcovers and inserts during his search. I dug through another stack, carefully staying within eye shot until I found something that I purchased immediately.

I settled onto one of the small soft chairs made available to the customers and perused my new book as John continued to rifle through the selections. He had two or three books laid out already. I knew he'd find four or five, debate with himself then choose a single one to purchase. He did it every time we'd ever gone book shopping. As expected two more titles were laid down and I smiled to myself as John mulled them over before extracting a single one and re-shelving the rejected titles neatly.

“Darling look at this. Did you know that the bees around here are known for the flavor of their honey? There's a flower producer close by and the bees seem to....hello.” John had come over to me with his book on local honey bees and saw my new purchase. I looked up at him with a very interested smile. “Is that...”

“The Gay Kama Sutra For Men, yes John” I leafed through the pages and showed him some poses that made John go completely still. “I'm positive I can achieve this pose John. I have mentioned previously that I am very flexible. You have demonstrated your physical strength on a number of occasions so I believe the other pose is well within your abilities, even with your bad leg and shoulder.”

“I. Oh. Bees.” he stuttered and just stood there looking at the diagram. The pose was simple enough. I took the bee book out of his hand and gave him my book. He didn't move so I just got up and paid for his selection and led him gently from the store by his hand. I walked him home, discussing the pages I'd already examined. We were half way there before he joined the conversation. “Sherlock?”

“Hello John. We're close to home. I've got your bee book. Do you mind if I read it too? Only, you know how long I've been fascinated with bees. Beekeeping at the cottage would be very possible if we chose to stay for any period of time.” John stopped my mouth up with a savage kiss and I almost pooled at his feet with a rage of desire.

“Sherlock have you any idea how much I wish to try each and every page in that book?” He kissed me hard a second time and now I wanted to give into the desire to sink to my knees. I wasn't sure of social convention though. We were by the roadside in the middle of some fairly well populated farmland. No one had come upon us though but I couldn't imagine John being very happy if a car drove by as I was giving him a blow job. He was very particular about privacy.

“You have been completely non-responsive for seven minutes John. I have a fair idea.” I bent down and kissed his neck and he moaned softly but pushed me back a couple of inches. “Not here Sherlock. Cottage.”

“Alright John. We've very nearly there.” I took his hand and we started walking again, albeit at a much faster pace now that he was aware of his surroundings. When the cottage came into sight John took my hand and with a boyish shout we raced down the lane laughing and bumping into one another until we skidded into the doorway. We kissed then, breathless and so very happy.

“Come on my Captain. Let's get in so you can get in.” I licked John's neck with incredible lack of subtly. John fumbled with the key before almost breaking the door down and shoving me through it. With a deep laugh I made it to the bedroom only slightly ahead of John. I was halfway out of my clothes before he even got his jacket off. By the time he'd peeled of his final layer I was completely bare.

I just looked at John and raised both my arms over my head. I arched my back slowly and bent back smoothly until my hands were firmly planted on the floor. I breathed deeply for a moment and heard John swearing continuously. I checked my balance and then I carefully raised one leg until it was pointed at the ceiling so I was bent back and split wide open. “Jesus Mary and Joseph. That is the most incredible thing I've never thought you could do. Oh my fuck Sherlock! John came to stand beside me and he ran his hands all over my body as I held my pose. At long last my thigh began to burn and John pulled me up and almost threw me onto the bed.

“You unholy temptation Sherlock. What made you? You are heaven and hell all mixed together. You look like an angel but you are pure wicked inside. You can be cold as ice and no one but me gets to see the heart of the sun. How did I get so very lucky?” John gave me no chance to respond. He kissed me harshly and simply took me. He barely paused long enough to apply lube. He didn't prepare me. He just sank himself deep inside. I wrapped my legs around him and gave in.

His mouth was by my ear and he rocked himself slowly in and out of my ass. “My fine beauty. It hurts doesn't it. Tears you wide open doesn't it. Strange how you love it though. Your whole body aches for the pain. I can see it. If only you could see yourself through my eyes my beautiful Sherlock. For you pain is part of life. It's the experience you're most familiar with. That's fine my love. It's who you are now. I know you Sherlock. I can see you, really see you. I'll happily be the one who gives you that sweet sear of agony, that burning flame that destroys everything that ruffles the calm of your mind. That's it, isn't it. That complicated, over active, never slowing, always busy mind of yours. The pain breaks through, the pleasure calms. You need one to get the other. I'll do that for you my divine demon. I will break you and I will heal you again, as many times as it takes. Tell me what you want Sherlock.”

John didn't stop his slow grinding thrusts. I couldn't focus. I couldn't dissemble and he knew it. I fought to get the words out. “Hurts John! So good. Cleans away. Pure thought. Perfect clarity. I need you John. I need you to give me pain and pleasure together so I can think. So I can understand completely. I want to be your absolute slave.”

“Oh my sweet man. My glorious perfect Sherlock. I'll own you. I'll make you whole. For all the love you never received I will make good. I'll love you until there is nothing left but you and I. Leave it all to me my amazing, brilliant, fantastic, marvelous mad, mad, mad genius. I'll keep the world away and let you just be Sherlock.” yes. Oh yes. Oh magnificent John. My perfect man. My brave, darling, faithful soldier. Yes.

John shifted pace. He went slow this time and the painful burn and stretch receded. It left behind a vast ocean of pleasure that lay still and untroubled deep within me. John began to roll his hips, leaning over and grazing his mouth and teeth along my skin. The surface of the ocean began to swell and break along the shores of my mind.

John's mouth was magic. He trailed open mouth kisses all over every bit of skin he could reach while still fucking me. His kisses tingled and made me shiver. After his mouth had moved on the tingles continued as the ghosts of his kisses seemed to continue pressing their phantom lips over the hungry expanse of my flesh. “You are so responsive, so very sensitive. No wonder you don't like to be touched. I won't let anyone disturb you, my beauty. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.”

John took me apart then. He knelt back and sat on his heels as his hips continued to rock forward. He let his hands roam and they were so very clever. John understood what it meant when I tensed one way or another. He watched me closely, utilizing all the skills of observation he had honed in his time with me. The degree I flushed all over my body. The measure of the panting breaths I struggled to take in. The patina of sweat that now covered me. The volume of each mindless cry I emitted because of his caresses. I could see he was just beginning, that tonight was the tip of our proverbial iceberg. He was taking control of me and learning everything he needed to give me what I wanted. My glorious doctor.

John's clever surgeons hands ran over my chest to pinch and stroke my nipples for a long minute. When they were hard and tight he spread his fingers wide and followed the lines of my body until he was following my arms down to my hands which were clutching the bedding. He curled his fingers into mine and raised them to his mouth. “I've told you before how beautiful your hands are. They've always been beautiful. Seeing your hands is more sensuous than any baring of the body from anyone else. These remarkable hands, oh I've seen them do wondrous things. You toy with the reality of things with them, taking everything apart and putting them back together perfectly. You mix and experiment and push the boundaries with these hands so that fucking sexy mind of yours can understand every aspect. I've watched these lovely hands make music that makes my soul want to fly. I love the way you play, my Sherlock. These hands wring every hidden feeling from me when you play. These beautiful hands that you now hate so much. These miraculous hands that you feel have betrayed the root of you. I deny that anything about you is ugly. These wonderfully dangerous hands, these bloody digits, these lethal deadly hands turn me on like nothing else.” I was almost weeping as he dug out that bit of secret. John knew me so well, it was a constant surprise when I finally understood that he understood. I gasped when he took those very hands which I indeed had begun to loathe and wrapped them around his cock, stroking himself with them.

John's head fell back and he shuddered and groaned. “Your hands Sherlock. Your fucking beautiful hands. That they can kill me makes me feel joy. That you could take me apart with them to examine my bloody insides makes me hard. That you have taken the lives of our enemies with them makes me fiercely proud. That you trust me with them makes me love you even more and I didn't know that I could love you more but I do. That you could do a million unspeakable things with them gives me a high beyond any drug you've tried my angel, because I trust you Sherlock. I know that no matter how insane you may be, how beyond the edge you are, these hands are incapable of hurting me because I'm your John and you are my Sherlock and we love one another so very much that death does not stop us, distance does not dim us, time does not slow us. Your hands Sherlock. Your beautiful, beautiful, beautiful hands.”

I was so beyond words now. I moaned louder and louder and John forced every manner of sound from me as his body worked me over inside and out. His words, his cock, his love. The experience of being with John was total immersion. He took every molecule of me and wrapped himself around it so I knew. I felt, I trusted that I was his and his alone. I couldn't bear anymore. The pleasure was too acute. My body was not yet accustomed to feeling such passion. I came.

The world went away and I rode high above our bodies. I could see John shake beneath me as I floated there, saw his scarred back flush red, his hips jerk and still as he filled me up. I saw my own limbs flail wildly, my feet drumming on the bed and my head grinding into the pillow as I was absolutely destroyed by my orgasm. Suddenly I dropped back down and crashed into my flesh with a gasp.

I was so hot. Sweat poured from me and my lungs just ached with the effort I had undertaken to keep breathing. John pressed heavily down on me, the hair on his arms and chest chafing me deliciously. I felt his chest heaving, felt our abdomens pressing together slickly as he lay on the combination of our sweat and my essence. His forehead pressed to my neck and he was taking deep controlled breaths to steady himself. When he could move he slid himself from me but I wrapped my arms around him to prevent him from leaving further. John capitulated and sagged onto me once more and let me pet him.

“I didn't know John. There's so much I didn't know. I didn't know I could be loved for my badness as well as for my goodness, though you're the only one who saw the goodness without digging. I didn't know how you could understand me. I didn't know how you could show me the way to forgiveness. I'd not realized that you've already done that for yourself but because you are so remarkable you did it on you own where I would have still been lost. I didn't know John, that there was anyone capable of really knowing me, someone who wouldn't be repelled by the unseemly things that interest me, or someone who would relish the thought of having a madman in their life for the pure joy of the chaos I bring. I didn't know that it was possible to live without constraint, that someone in the world would value what I am so much they would dedicate themselves to allowing me to be free! I didn't know John but now I do and I am humbled. I am grateful. I am so very grateful. There is no part of me that was not meant for you John. You are an artist of life and you will make me your masterpiece.”

John smiled. I could feel it against my skin and I felt happy because of it. I tightened my embrace and kissed his sweaty head tenderly before allowing him to rest beside me. My body was humming once more and the universe swirled around us in perfect harmony. “You are very romantic Sherlock. You're a poet who writes in words of science and deduction. I am only an old soldier who knows only how to appreciate the little things because little things are the only important things in the end.”

I was so calm. So focused now. My eyes darted around the room and for the first time since my resurrection I allowed myself to really see and observe the minutiae. My cottage had been furnished by my family over time. The Holmes' had owned this particular property for several decades and had kept many of the rustic items that had come with it. The wardrobe was silvered wood stained only with the patina of time and carefully handling. Thin wax kept it smooth. It stood empty as yet, waiting for us to fill it. A simple dresser and valet also stood waiting. They were chocolate and mirror, a strangely vibrant stain that should have been too bold for this simple room but was not. Our bed was a double but the sheets on it were of the heaviest thread count and the touch of them was cool and luxurious. The walls were sparsely decorated, apart from the fixtures there was only a single glassed in hanging that displayed an artful array of local herbs. I made a note to examine it closer to see what still grew in our wild spaces.

I flitted back and forth with my eyes while my hand traced over John thoughtfully. I silently cataloged the changes in his physique, the subtle changes that were already taking place in microscopic increments. I was comforted by the idea of John becoming more. My eyes shut slowly and I stopped looking at the room and just experienced John the way I'd dreamed of doing for so long. I would never tire of feeling his warmth beside me, of being part of the intimacy of these moments when we were naked not just in body but in mind. The combined perfume of our bodies was intoxicating and suddenly I was so glad all over again that John had accepted me, had loved me, and wanted to be with me beyond all others. John! John! John! John! John! John!

“I feel happy John.” I said. John squeezed my shoulder, understanding yet again the complexity of my simple words. Sherlock Holmes was happy. Happiness was not a state that Sherlock Holmes could ever have been thought to achieve by anyone who had ever known him. John Watson had performed a miracle and had made Sherlock Holmes happy. I slid my cheek over his good shoulder and rubbed against my brave soldier and enjoying leaving bits of my DNA on him, marking him with the very stuff of me. No one could see it but he and I would both know it was there, John was covered in Sherlock and Sherlock was filled with John.

“I'm glad my darling. I'm happy too. You make me happy.” Oh! I was filled with joy again. John was happy because of me and it was all so easy. I felt foolish now, thinking of all the time I'd spent actively working to prevent myself from feeling this way. Two years of not allowing either John or myself to feel the most basic of human emotions, to feel happy. Not anymore. The world could keep the Sherlock of old. For John there would only be the Sherlock of now. I would never stop striving to keep John happy because what made John happy was me being me. Elegant. Perfection. It worked seamlessly.

My fingers traced over his torso again, compiling the variations of body hair he had lightly sprinkled over him, the softness of his skin as it stretched over muscles that were compact and lean. I felt his hand run up my spine and splay over my shoulder to pull me up. I kissed him softly and smiled into his gloriously relaxed blue eyes. “Time to make dinner Sherlock. Food and then the village green.”

“Very well John.” I climbed out of bed and we went to the bathroom to wash up before dressing. I rummaged through our bags and hung things away while John cooked wearing only a towel about his hips. I laid out my selections after I remade the bed and waited for John to join me. Our dressers were now full. I had taken the liberty of organizing John's things in a new index. That would change as time went by and as he wore each new item but for now it was all logically sorted by type, color, usefulness, and frequency of access. To keep things simple I used one half of the wardrobe for his things and one half for mine. The doors had small hooks so I hung up our selection of belts and ties, including our Batman and Robin belts for which John had particular fondness.

We had left behind nearly every bespoke item we'd owned except for a couple of suits each. John had insisted as we packed. “We're on honeymoon Sherlock, in a tiny village. Maybe there will be an opportunity to dress up but hopefully not!” I had just shrugged and packed the way he wanted with only some minor exceptions.

“Things are on simmer darling. We should sort out our clothes. Oh! Well done Sherlock. I wasn't looking forward to that.” John was smiling again. I popped up off the bed still naked except for the pants I had just slid on. He patted my bum and hugged me with one arm before looking over what I'd laid out. “Seriously Sherlock? This is what you're going to wear?”

I nodded and he chuckled warmly. I had laid out dark slacks with shirts and jumpers for both of us. On top of John's pile were a pair of red pants. He chuckled again while stripping his towel off. I allowed myself to run my hand down his back to cup his behind as he bent over to step into them. He gave me a grin and together we dressed. “Your regular shirts were horrid. I can live with your jumpers but you should know I threw all your old shirts away.” I had. I had bundled them together with the bloody sheets, our booze soaked bachelor clothes and had all of them sent to an incinerator. I couldn't bear the idea of someone else wearing our things or of the trouble to be caused when the blood smears of the bedding were discovered.

“Strangely I'm not minding the custom fitted shirts Sherlock. Thanks love.” John did look soft and comfortable again. He pulled on a truly awful jumper that was pale blue and had knobby flowers and assorted plant life actually knitted into it. I had accepted wearing a jumper but had the sense to find one that was rich in color and luxuriously knitted into a subtle pattern that accented the gracefulness of my form. We slipped on sturdy brogues and examined one another. “Very handsome Sherlock. It's not a bad look for you. Somehow you still look posh, like you're wearing a designer suit under your clothes.”

I laughed as John teased me. I did try to relax but it wasn't possible really. I had been schooled rigorously my entire existence to keep my body poised and graceful. John always came off as solid and firm no matter what he was wearing. He was a pivot around which all things were tied firmly. When John planted his feet and refused to move there was no force on heaven or earth that could shift him. That he did it while also looking like he was as dangerous as a basket of kittens was always amazing to me.

“Come along Sir Watson-Holmes. Dinner awaits.” John grandly took my arm and with a laugh we made it to the kitchen. I set the table a bit while he stirred up the curry he had made and dished it out onto one large plate. The kettle had boiled and two cups of tea joined our meal. We sat, gave each other a kiss and proceeded to feed each other in our new pattern. One two two one two two one two two until every bit was gone. John leaned back and sipped his tea. I idly wondered if there would be desserts available in the village later. Something sticky and sweet would be welcome. I did love sweet things. “So what's involved with being a knight anyway. We didn't really get much detail.”

“I have to confess that I was too distracted to pay proper attention to whom was accorded what. You were given a military knighthood and I was given one for arts and sciences but essentially they are of the same meaning and level of honor. We could have been awarded baronetcy but Aunt Lizzie didn't mention that so I'm grateful. I suppose it also means that we have titles and letters now but we can get away with a simple Sir. I also suppose we'll have to attend any event which requires the Queen's knights to be assembled but hopefully that won't be a common activity for us. This was supposed to be a reward after all, not a punishment. I believe we will also be receiving various items that will declare who we are, medals, swords, those sorts of things. They'll probably be waiting for us at 221B when we return.”

“More medals! I don't even wear the one's I've got!” John groused as we washed up from our meal. I dried things carefully and stowed them away.

“I know John. You didn't even notice when I took your box of medals from your wardrobe and hid them in my dresser. They've been there for four and a half years.” John laughed loudly.

“You bastard! No, I never noticed. I've barely looked at them since I got them. Why'd you take them Sherlock?” John was not unhappy. He was curious and seemed a little pleased. I swallowed.

“I was fascinated with you John. You never spoke of your life in the army really. I knew a bit but I also knew there was so much more. You know very well I browsed through your possessions all the time. That's why you hid the gun. You were still worried I would shoot more holes in the wall after that first time. I came across the medals and they were so enticing. Little bits of metal that said so much about you but told me almost nothing of why. I puzzled over them on evenings, especially those when you were otherwise engaged.” What I really meant was that I'd fondled his medals obsessively while he was on a date with some woman. I'd sat in his room and cuddled with a used jumper and denied I felt jealous or lonely. I'd lied to myself and tried to find acceptable way to be more connected to John.

“You're welcome to them Sherlock. Unless I'm forced to wear my dress uniform I can't really see a situation where I'll need them. I'm glad.” my heart sunk a bit because I had to tell him.

“John. We're knights now. When we do go somewhere officially you'll need to wear those very things plus everything else you've been given. You'll be very striking though. You're a soldier through and through. You'll cut quite the dashing figure. I'll be in a suit. I'll look odd.” John just sighed and nodded, accepting his fate.

“You'll hardly look odd Sherlock. You've always been sex on two legs. As a knight undergarments will be combusting left right and center every time you walk past someone. No one will even notice me even if I were covered in medals from head to toe. Tell you what, we'll take fencing lessons so we can have proper sword fights. That should thrill Mrs Hudson no end.” I laughed and John elbowed me. I was happy again when I realized that nothing had really changed for John and I. We were still best friends. We were still able to tease and joke with one another. We had just become more. “Right. Time to get going. It's close to half seven already. On with your coat Sherlock. It could get nippy.”

I had my coat on before I realized he had told me what to do and I hadn't balked. I needed my coat and generally didn't forget it but many times we'd had to return to 221B because I was also wearing my pajamas and slippers under my coat. John was doing exactly what he'd said he would. He was taking care of me and letting me just be. I looked over at him and saw that he was watching me fondly. “It's easy isn't it.” I nodded. Of course John understood. He always did.

I offered my arm but he just pulled me close and we kissed for a long minute. “I love you John.” He smiled and kissed me softly before leading me outside to lock the door securely behind us. I was seated in the car and John drove us back to the village.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't imagine the newlyweds traveling Europe or going on a tropical vacation. Hunkering down someplace slow and quiet, well that's just what the doctor ordered.


	2. Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evening out garners the newlyweds some unexpected pleasures.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea about how England is laid out, where the villages are or where Sherlock might have lived or had a home. I've kept it very general.

A large group of people were milling around the green. Most were families but there were pockets of out of town visitors. The community was lovely and had long been a favored location for tourists who wanted green countryside and a quiet bit of air to breath in. 

Mr Jameson was there and shook our hands warmly and introduced us to the other families he was with. “Everyone, you remember Sir Sherlock Watson-Holmes and his husband, Sir John.”

“We have the clipping from the papers Sirs! Congratulations on your union. The knighting was a nice touch, especially after all the unpleasantness we used to read about. We never believed that for a moment Sir Sherlock! Not for a moment! Why, we'd seen you in action ourselves, hadn't we. We knew those reporters were dead wrong. Speaking of dead, that was a bit of a turn-up. Imagine my surprise learning that you were taking your honeymoon here. Sherlock Holmes, alive and wed in our old village. How'd you manage that then?” This was all from a heavy-set woman of middle years and heavily graying auburn hair. She was wearing skirt and cardigan in brown wool and her shoes were as sturdy as she was. Her brown eyes were merry and she was filled with a directness I couldn't help but admire immediately. She wore not a scrape of makeup and had a clean well scrubbed look about her. “I'm Tess. You probably don't know that. We've never met directly.”

She must have been one of the people from when we were here last. The entire village had turned out to find the missing boys but only John and I had managed to fit together all the happenings of the last several weeks in order to locate them in the old military bunker hidden far in the countryside. We'd been fed while in the field, a rough encampment had been made on a bit of farmland and everyone had searched from there. I vaguely recalled a steady stream of people who had turned out to serve tea and coffee and an ever replenishing supply of sandwiches from Mr Jameson's shop.

It was easy to smile at Tess. She was as undemanding as John, radiating a calm steady sort of curiosity that was clearly not above asking personal questions to people she'd never been introduced to before. I liked her instantly. John seemed to as well. He'd smiled over to her and simply relaxed into his stance, unconcerned. I told her the same way I'd explained everything to all the diplomats we'd met. How I'd sacrificed myself to save my friends. How I'd been on the run taking down criminals. How I'd barely survived my return. I didn't need to mention how John had suffered. Tess brought it right up on her own.

“We'd read online about your grief Sir John. People kept track of you, sort of an ongoing memorial to Mr Holmes as he was then. It was terrible and beautiful at the same time. There were a lot of happy tears when we heard how everything had changed. Your wedding was celebrated all round the world. I don't know if you know that.” Tess was incredibly direct. There was no subterfuge with her. She said what she said because they were facts but they were facts about feelings. I was enchanted. She was someone who understood! She was like John. How interesting.

John found her directness easy to deal with it seemed. Where he would have bristled and shut down anyone else who intruded I watched as John looked at her, his face serious and his eyes very focused. “It was a rough bit of time for me, true enough. I suppose from the outside I can see how it would seem beautiful to suffer for love but I can tell you from the inside it was very ugly. Given the choices though I'd do it again if it meant that Sherlock and I ended up here on the village green and about to hear children sing. It's a bit of perfect that is. Care to sit with us Tess?”

We nodded our farewells to the families and followed Tess to an area where a number of chairs had been set out. Most were filled but she found us a section in the back where we could sit together and wait for the children to assemble themselves. “We do this all through the summer. Whenever the weather is fine on a weekend we try to gather for a bit of harmless entertainment. It gives the kiddies something to occupy them and keeps everyone in touch with one another.” I nodded and kept my hand firmly in John's. Tess was sitting beside him which I approved since it made her a buffer between John and the group of strangers on the other end of the row. I looked around and almost shouted, “John! Cakes!”

John and Tess laughed at my excitement. Off to the side of us were a long row of tables filled with a large assortment of cakes and pies. I took off, dragging John behind me. Tess followed along at her own pace and soon we three were examining the selection. Tess was an expert at local foods. I began to quiz her on each one while John stood there eating free samples being offered to him by the ladies on the other side. They knew who we were of course and were very pleased to see John taste everything. I made note of his reactions to each sample and ended up buying an entire cake thick with buttery frosting and chocolate curls. It had been stuffed with fresh berries and cream and John loved it.

“You're going to get fat if you keep stuffing it all in like that.” noted Tess bluntly. John tried to laugh but his mouth was full so he elbowed me and just took another bite.

“I'm trying to get John fat. He can only eat so much at a time though so we're working it out. Tell me about this one.” I pointed to something that looked a lot like Mrs Hudson's rum cake. Tess didn't bat an eye or skip a beat.

“Scumble cake. Not for young ones. There's enough alcohol in that cake to fell an elephant. It's also the richest cake you'll ever taste. You should get it. John will put on an entire stone after a single serving.” she was delightful. I'd ask John if we could have her over to tea. People were always inviting people to tea but we'd never done it. Tess seemed perfectly acceptable as our first guest. I reminded myself to ask John later on.

“Tess you are killing me! Sherlock is half a step away from tying me to a chair and force feeding me. Don't give him ideas and suggestions!” John's protest was weak. I was already buying the cake so it was too late anyway. Tess endeared herself further when she pointed out another item.

“Meat pie. Pork and beef. Solid. That'll stick to your ribs. Good hot or cold.” Oh she was a treasure! I ignored John's attempt to stop me with a stern look and bought the pie quickly. Everything was bagged up in special containers and John had to almost drag me away. Tess followed us laughing and John joined her.

“You two are bad. Alright Tess you asked for it. Come to tea tomorrow and I'll match you bite for bite. Take that!” John had invited her on his own! Oh he was a marvel. I grinned at him and hugged his arm. 

“Let me think about that for a second. Yes. Yes please. I'd love to go to tea with Sherlock Holmes and John Watson for an eating contest. The chances of me saying no were pretty much zero.” she was glib and self-deprecating. Wonderful! She was clearly clever but not in a off putting way. She was very personable.

“You won't mind Tess? Ladies mind these sorts of things don't they?” Entire industries thrived on women minding about becoming heavy and over eating. Tess laughed genially. She pointed at herself theatrically. I observed as requested and so did John. She was rather universally curvaceous but I wasn't certain what terminology women found acceptable so I refrained from comment until I knew Tess better. If John knew I'd managed to be discrete on my own he'd be proud again. Tess's fingers spread wide as she pointed out different generous parts of herself.

“Look at me. You want John to get fat? I can tell you all about how to do that. My body is a genius at it. My family cookbook is the whole reason obesity even exists. Now, finding a body who likes that talent in a lady, well that's not so easy. Still, I'm not one to bow to convention so if I'm going to be heavy anyway I'm not going to be shy about it. John, challenge accepted.” John had started laughing as she spoke and by the time she was done his eyes were twinkling and he looked as merry as she did. I realized I was smiling broadly too and enjoying her company very much. Tess was charming.

We resumed our seats with pastries in hand. The children emerged in a ragged group, all in card board costumes and regaled the audience with songs about cows, penguins and renegade elephants. It was pleasant and entertaining to watch the tots try to dance together and remember the words at the same time. Before I knew it the performance was over and John and I joined in with the warm applause.

Everyone in the area just stacked up chairs on their own and cleared everything away. It was interesting to be part of the activity. Conversations buzzed softly in the background and tired children were led away by proudly smiling parents. We bid Tess goodnight after John gave her our mobile number and off we went.

“That was lovely Sherlock. Tess was a treat wasn't she. I hope you don't mind me inviting her over. I just did it without thinking.” John sounded excited and apologetic at the same time.

“I was going to ask you if we could ask her. I didn't want to do it without speaking to you first so I was delighted when you went ahead and did it on your own. She is not objectionable and she has a lot of valuable information that falls well within my current scope of interest.” I smiled at John.

“You mean making me fat.” he said bluntly. Tess was heavy and she said she knew all about making someone heavy. Perfect! That she was amusing just made it that much easier. I quite liked Tess.

“Yes John, she can help me make you fat. I like that.” We were in the car now so I reached over and rubbed his tummy. “She is not irritating either. I believe that it would be possible to interact with her in an acceptably social manner for periods of time.”

“You mean she's funny and not boring.” John always had to state the obvious. Wasn't that what I just said?

“Indeed John. Spot on.” he smiled at my dry tone and drove us back to the cottage with a smile on his face. When we got home we undressed and climbed into our pajamas while the kettle boiled. While John made tea I pulled out my violin and played softly for him. John always loved how I played and I loved the look in his eye as he got lost in the sweet notes I produced. He set out the tea and cut a slice of the cream cake for us to share.

“I enjoyed this evening John. We seldom have a chance to simply enjoy things. We've always been occupied with The Work. The children were charming. Nothing went wrong. It was just...nice.” I hadn't been bored for a second either. I hadn't been bored at all since I came home. I wondered about that for a moment then John said.

“You weren't bored? Nothing strange happened. No crime. No mystery. How do you feel about that?” John was concerned! I sipped my tea and thought. He ate half the cake and made me take a bite.

“For now John I think I am content with how things stand. I think that I was very broken when I came home. I think my abilities are in much the same condition as a broken bone might be. They've knitted together but they aren't ready to bear the full weight of their intended purpose. I think I am still healing. I have not been bored because I believe I am currently at my available capacity to process and absorb anything new. You are not new. You are John. You were already present. You are the very bones of my mind palace so being with you is the most natural place in the world for me to begin to put myself back together. The Work will come again, I'm certain. Right now the simple challenge of inviting a diverting individual to tea seems to be enough mystery for me to deal with.” I tried to explain fully and John chuckled.

“So I fight your mum and you get to have Tess for tea? Well.” I giggled with him because those two situations were nothing alike but it was still amusing. John gave me another bite of the scrumptious cake and had one for himself. “Tea with Tess. Sounds like a good title for another blog.”

“I cannot object to the title. Navigating the demands of meat vs fruit pie shall be a battle never undertaken by a Holmes. I suppose being a Watson-Holmes will tip the scales in my favor.” John laughed at my small joke. The cake was very good so I took the fork and had another bite on my own. John looked pleased. “What about you John. You thrive on danger. Our lives have been very placid.”

“Is that what you call nearly dying of sorrow, meeting your mum, getting married and becoming knighted? Placid! Well. Not all of us a super-secret polyglot virtuoso unofficial double ohs. I'd say our lives have been exciting enough Sherlock. I don't think for a moment that I'm well yet. We're still raw underneath. I still get frightened in the night. I still worry all the time about how you're feeling. I still feel pain when I can't stop myself from recalling how much I missed you. Tea with Tess is about the level of challenge I can push myself to accept. Everything up until now has pushed me to my limits.”

I nodded and finished my tea while John ate the last of the cake. We needed to live our lives in a whole new way. Our old life had nearly killed us. We washed up after putting everything away. I was yawning prodigiously by then so John just tucked us into bed with no more than some long loving kisses. We shifted around until I was the big spoon, my long arms and legs trapping John to me tightly. Thus comforted we drifted off and slept till morning.

I woke in the most delightful of ways. My pajama bottoms had been removed and John was lowering himself onto me. I groaned as his tightness surrounded me inch after delicious inch until John was sitting directly on my hips, his legs spread wide. “Good morning my love.” he smiled wickedly.

I grinned like a fool and thrust up slowly. “Good morning my love.” Oh it was divine! John was so strong, so sure of himself. He knew what he wanted and rode me to please himself. Just watching John pleasure himself with my body was enough to make the pool of desire in my belly heat and tighten until I was gasping and struggling to hold back.

I caught John's eyes with mine and held them. Slowly, deliberately I raised my palm to my mouth and licked it obscenely. John groaned and his hips circled reflexively. I trailed my fingertips down his chest, over his abdomen and gripped his thick hard cock firmly. His breath stuttered and stopped for a moment then he exhaled roughly as I began to move.

John surprised me by stopping his long drawn out movements. Instead he seated me fully within him and began to bounce lightly. He clenched me deep inside, rocking back and forth. I was hitting his prostate square on so soon we were both tense and on edge. “Together Sherlock.” he gritted roughly. I nodded. It had to be now because I couldn't wait anymore. Even as I nodded my eyes rolled back and I simply shook from head to toe as my voice warbled all over the place. I heard John gasping out, his loud wordless cries as loud as mine. I could feel him spilling over my hand and onto my belly, felt myself fill him up as John bore down on me as hard as he could.

We let ourselves pant and sweat for a minute or two but then dragged ourselves weakly out of bed and laughed our way to the bathroom to begin our day. “That's simply the best way to be woken John.” I said as we sat in the tub. It was hot and deep. John was up to his neck and I sagged into the water to try and get as much of myself immersed as possible. John just hummed in agreement and relaxed in the water.

We had absolutely no plans. We stayed in the water until hunger drove us out. We wore only our pants and robes as John made an proper English breakfast for us. We had coffee in the living room after and just soaked in the view. It was a lot like being back in the house after my return, lots of quiet and the simple joy of just being together.

The sofa was long and soft so I shifted around until my head was on John's lap. He petted my head until my eyes drooped. I heard a soft snore and let myself drift away as John's hand grew limp and heavy on my ear.

John woke me up just slightly after lunch time. “Come on love. Let's have a small bite then go for a short stroll. We can come back and get ready for tea.” We had soup with bread and butter. We also drank a small ocean in tea before setting out to roam the countryside. I held John's hand and helped him over hummocks and small streams until we made a large circle and ended up back at the cottage.

John put together some sandwiches from the ingredients we had in the cooler and I carefully arranged the remains of the cream cake and everything else we'd gotten on the handsome platters that came with the house. We even heated the small oven up and set the meat pie inside to reheat slowly. The cottage filled with the delicious aroma and soon the kettle was whistling cheerfully. 

Just as John took it off the range and sharp knock came from the door and we heard Tess call out. “Put your clothes on. You've got company, what.” John laughed and with a small smile I went to let her in. She was smiling too and came in, completely at ease. “Wotcher. Ta mate.” as I took her coat. I heard John laugh again.

“I haven't heard anyone actually say Wotcher to Sherlock. Ever. Hi Tess! Come on it.” I hung her coat up next to my Belstaff. She gave me an absent hug which startled me. She went immediately to the kitchen where John was hugged the exact same way. Tess plopped onto one of the chairs, “Tea?”

With a smile John served tea to all of us. I perched at the end of the table and watched Tess intently. She pulled out a heavy book from her bag and it thumped onto the table in front of me. “Is that your family cookbook Tess? The one that is the origin of obesity?” I liked her laugh. It went well with John's.

“Feel free to take your laser stare and turn it onto these hallowed pages Sherlock before you bore a hole through me. I have it on good opinion that my looks do not rival Helen of Troy so gaping at me should not be necessary.” John actually bent over laughing. A little disgruntled I allowed myself to be pacified by looking at the book which was old, heavy, and more than a little sticky. Tess noted my expression and said with great seriousness, “That's how you can tell if a cookbook is good or not. Bad ones never get used and good ones get used till the pages fuse together.”

“Well this must be excellent because it seems to have only one very thick page in it. If I were you I would be glad not to be considered similar to Helen of Troy. She was not history's best example of womankind.” I peeled a page open with care and some effort. It parted stubbornly at first but soon I'd gotten the hang of it and was browsing through the old black and white pictures and reading recipes avidly.

“You're funny Tess. Laser eyes! Do you have any idea how many people have almost ruptured themselves trying to not say something like that to Sherlock? You've just become one of my favorite people! I'm going to have to make a list so I can tell Greg and Mycroft later.” John pulled out his notebook which Tess took away from him. In a neat hand she wrote “Wotcher” and “laser eyes”

“There will be more. I can't help myself. Well possibly I could but I don't try so I'm really not sure.” she said and John laughed again. He filled the table with everything he had made as well as a very large pot of tea. He sat across the table from Tess and I realized they were actually going to try and out eat one another. Oh!

“Right John. I have five older brothers and two dozen male cousins half of whom were in the army so don't think you're about to take on some delicate flower. Are you ready mate?” Tess was staring directly at John who narrowed his eyes at her.

“My dear Tess. I am a war hero who has survived death so many times that I actually caught the eye of Sherlock fucking Holmes. If you think some village girl from the end of nowhere is going to take me on you are delusional.” She smiled at him, completely undaunted. They squared off neatly and I was bid serve them their portions. Their smiles were open and their eyes were merry. Their threats had been mere posturing I realized, letting the other know where they stood. Tess was unafraid and fearlessness made John interested.

The meal began. John and Tess kept their eyes on one another as they ate their first sandwich. After it had been consumed the timer on the oven went off and I got up to fetch out the meat pie. Slicing it into portions very carefully I served them a piece each and nibbled on one while they continued to eat. I refilled their teacups when they emptied. Once the pies were done I sliced servings of the cream cake. They ate it all up. I nibbled on my meat pie and drank my tea. They each got another sandwich. It took a bit longer but soon they were done. More tea. The scumble cake. All three of us got a thick slice and I felt myself become a bit tipsy as I got to the last bite. Both John and Tess looked a bit green.

They stared at each other. I filled their teacups and sat back to sip my heavily sugared cup. John didn't look at me. “I told you two spoons Sherlock. Not three.”

“Sorry John.” Drat. I'd hoped he wouldn't notice. I drank my tea quickly before he thinned out the sweet by adding more tea. John and Tess very slowly sat back in their chairs and wouldn't speak at first. They were both holding their teacups. Tess relented first.

“Draw?” John sagged back, relieved. Draw. We all laughed. It was soft at first then it grew loud and very cheery. “Dammit John! I had every intention of winning. I never should have gotten Sherlock to buy the scumble! Bit of booze brick wasn't it?”

“Fuck! That was the heaviest cake I've ever eaten. I can feel every crumb.” Tess laughed merrily when John swore. I made note. Tess truly was not delicate like all the other women we knew. If John had said fuck in front of Molly or Mrs Hudson he would have immediately received a polite admonishment. Tess just rubbed her ample stomach and slouched back.

“I am so full. Mind if I step out for a fag?” Oh! Tess was marvelous! I looked at John to silently plead and he snickered with Tess. She looked back to John, “That's the biggest pair of puppy eyes I've ever seen! Where's his leash?”

“We haven't ordered one yet.” I said honestly. I'd thought about it. If I had a collar a leash wasn't entirely beyond thinking. Tess looked surprised but John just nodded and pulled out my grenade lighter. In a flash I was dragging Tess by the wrist to the front door.

“You'd look lovely in black and steel. I can see you in a heavy collar. Not John though. He hasn't the right look for it.” I actually gaped at Tess while she sipped her tea. “What! Did I say something untoward. I apologize. I do that. I have a rather vivid imagination and very poor filters on my mouth. Earns me a lot of alone time.”

John burst out laughing and couldn't stop. He finally turned to me, “Don't be jealous darling but I think I just fell in love again.” I grinned at John at felt my heart flutter in a delightful way.

“That's alright John. I didn't quite know how to explain it myself. She's perfect!” I actually liked Tess a lot. She had been here for over an hour and hadn't annoyed me once. She made John laugh. She was interesting. She said interesting things! Now she was smiling over at both of us with a mildly quizzical look on her face.

“If you blokes think I step out with married men you're sorely mistaken. Unless it's for a fag. So can we step out already?” John and I burst out laughing and she just grinned at us. I opened the door for her and we went to the garden. There was a lovely set of wrought iron chairs and a small table. John had brought our stolen ashtray with us and set it on the small table in front of us. Tess surprised us further by digging a tobacco pouch from a pocket and rolling a neat cigarette for herself. “Old habit from my pot smoking days. I just really like rolling.”

“John can we keep her?” I begged. She would be so much fun. I could tell. I'd read about kept women, or at least heard the phrase. I wasn't sure what it meant but I would just add that to the list of questions I needed to ask John later. This was very interesting! Tess and John giggled while we lit our smokes. Sitting back I enjoyed each bitter drag. John had allowed me to smoke when I pleased but I didn't need it the way I used to and now only rarely felt like having a drag. He joined me now but not seriously. He mostly held it and took only the occasional puff in companionable silence.

“Don't give Sherlock pot. At least yet. I'll think on that. He's an addict, I should warn you. Drugs are just part of it.” I shrugged, unable to argue the matter. I did get hooked. Easily. On anything. Drugs had been a means to an end, an end I could now achieve whenever John and I had a bit of spare time. A much preferable method I felt.

“Whatever John. Aren't we all though? I like to eat and write. Sherlock likes crime and drugs. What is it that you're addicted to?” she was a delightful surprise. John sat back and considered for only a moment.

“Sherlock and danger. He's both most of the time. What do you write?” Tess took a drag off her smoke and looked at John after he asked. 

“Pornography. There's a pretty big market for it. It's actually quite difficult to not get into the business once you've broken into the market.” I spit out my smoke and nearly died laughing. John was laughing too but his face still registered plenty of amazement.

“You're serious. Here I was thinking you specialized in archival work or some obscure bit of something to do with England but pornography? I don't think I've ever met someone who's actually done that and admitted it.” I examined Tess intently. She was being honest. John looked at her and she took another drag.

“It's not difficult. You can hang a fairly decent story around a lot of sex. The market for paying authors is brutal. I would have been homeless years ago if I hadn't made a choice. I have a pseudonym. I can work from home. I just email in manuscripts essentially on demand. It's fairly formulaic. No one around here has any idea. They know I write regular publications. They are not curious as to what I write.” I thought for a moment as I considered what I'd just learned.

“Why did you say steel?” John looked at me and then Tess. She regarded me carefully. She had suggested the collar without having any idea John and I were interested in them. It was a nebulous idea for us at the moment but this strange new person had mentioned it. I paid close attention when she finally answered.

“The thing about pornography is that you're writing to a well informed audience. They know what they like, how they like it and everything involved in it. If you decide to write a book about pirates you'd better know what a midden-mast is and how to actually swash a buckle. If you want to write about bondage you have to know about spreader bars and collars.” I bit my lip and shifted in my seat at the thought. I had to close my eyes for a minute to gain control of myself and when I opened them I was staring at John with undisguised hunger. Spreader bars. Oh.

“My my my. Sherlock is curious, isn't he John. Just look at that face. I could write a whole manuscript on that one expression alone. Well. This is a turn up isn't it.” There was that phrase again. I managed to control myself with a promise of later and looked at Tess.

“Explain.” John's gaze had now also turned to Tess and he was suddenly Captain John. Tess was unperturbed and I recalled that many of her family were military. She was unafraid of John and completely unintimidated by me. Fascinating.

“Let me see if I've got this right. Sherlock was a virgin before he returned to life. You two finally declared for the unspoken love everyone on earth but you two knew about. Sex happened. Sherlock is an addict but he's an addict who's also a scientist. He want to know doesn't he. He wants to know everything and John wants Sherlock to be happy. Sudden here I am. I'm someone you both get on with because I'm a little slice of heaven and I know things. Things that Sherlock is interested in and because Sherlock is interested John is interested. A turn up. Not where I expected to be.” Oh my god. She was amazing. Marvelous. Brilliant. John thought so too. It was all over his face. He had on that expression, the one normally reserved for me but on extremely rare occasions for others. Right now, it was Tess.

“Sherlock was right Tess. Can we keep you?” I wasn't sure if John was kidding. He sounded breathless. His eyes were dilated and he was looking Tess all over. I was breathing a bit faster too and I made myself slow. I shouldn't just stare at her like this. That was a Bit Not Good, wasn't it? Yet John was doing it too. I tried to exert some control over my instinct to just move closer and use every sense to learn about her. She was a fountain though. A never ending surprise since we'd met yesterday. She was so absolutely right in her summary of us. What did that mean though?

“I don't know John. Do you suppose someone like me can be kept? Especially by two gay married men?” well her tone was biting but she had a point there. “Either of you alone would have merited consideration for a run around the sheets but I'm not really sure that's what you're after. Tell you what. This evening just got interesting fast but I think it's better if we let the scumble stop talking for us. You've got my mobile. Call me for tea again and we'll chat a bit. It's been lovely. I'll just get my coat.”

Just like that she left. We put out our smokes and went inside. “John what just happened?” I really didn't understand. We cleared up the kitchen together and John thought about it.

“I think we just hit on Tess and she turned us down.” That actually cleared a lot of things up. I'd never purposefully tried to pick anyone up before so I couldn't be blamed for messing up. On the other hand I also had not thought about what I was asking her and neither had John. Devoted as we were neither of us had hesitated asking to keep Tess. What would we do with her if she had said yes?

“She's a woman John. I'm gay. We're married. She's got gray hair and she's not conventionally attractive though I'm not really sure what that means for women. I actually thought the gray in her hair was striking and you know my views about weight. She was very clever though and not boring.” John watched me carefully as I tried to talk about my reaction. “I actually enjoyed her company. She was a refreshing change from everyone we normally associate with. She's very different. Open.”

John nodded thoughtfully, “Are you attracted to Tess Sherlock? Is that what you're trying to say to me?” I sank onto my chair. We had been only married a day and John was questioning my fidelity. I opened my mouth to assuage his fears.

“Yes I think I am.” I clapped my hands over my mouth. That's not what I meant to say. John looked stunned. He sat heavily into the chair by the table and I weakly joined him. Oh John. What have I done!

“I think I am too. She's a bit of alright. She's bright. She's witty. She's bold and unashamed. I wouldn't call her pretty but I'd say she's got a lot of character. Her eyes are amazing. Her hair too. It's glossy. I don't understand Sherlock. Aren't we enough for each other? I love you so much. I feel ashamed that I feel anything for Tess other than fondness for a new friend. I'm a philanderer and we're still on our honeymoon!” John had gone from sounding stunned to hating himself.

“John stop. John! Listen to me. You know that I'm not good at this sort of thing but do consider this, it's both of us. If it was just you or just me I would think the other would be justified in feeling jealous offense. It's both of us though, what shall we do?” John looked at me, still upset with himself. “Fine, consider this part too. When she suggested a collar what was your first reaction. Not your first thought, your reaction.”

“I almost got hard. The way she said it. She was calm, sure of herself. I could almost see it on you and I knew it was right.” I nodded when he confessed. He sounded ashamed.

“I as well John. I could almost feel the leather around my throat. She understands all the things we were going to try anyway John. She would be useful, like The Woman but not appalling. I'm not sure exactly what else to think. This really is not my area. Do we want sex from her?” I might as well ask since all the uncomfortable questions were coming out.

“You want to have sex with a woman? Really?” John was deflecting but it was a valid question so to give him time to think of his own answer I thought about mine. Did I actually want to try and have sex with a woman? Wouldn't that be infidelity or was that not the same if both spouses were present? Still, even just considering the scientific principle of it all shouldn't I be required to have sex with both genders just to get the facts? I was certainly interested in men but John had only been interested in women and now look at him. Married to a man. Tess's body was not classically beautiful but then I had never experienced arousal when viewing statuary or paintings of apparently beautiful women or the celebrated looks of actresses that featured in most of the movies John chose. I wasn't sure if I was physically aroused by Tess but my mind was powerfully drawn to her uninhibited and decidedly atypical ways of just being.

“I'm saying we should try to look at this like a learning experience, like taking sky diving lessons or learning to dance.” John looked at me again so I tried to explain my feelings further. “Tess is very appealing to both of us. She was absolutely right. I want to know everything there is to know about sex. She knows a lot. Clearly. This is definitely her area. She had issues with us being married. She didn't actually say no or seem offended. In fact she invited us to set up another discussion, heavily hinting that this would be the conversation. She's brilliant John. Brilliant. What could we learn from someone like that? Think of her as a mentor.”

John nodded again. “This is a lot. It sounds very logical and very appealing right now. I still need to sleep on it. It's a very large decision and I think we need to talk about it. This could have far ranging consequences. We need to take it seriously. Let's head to bed and get some sleep. We can talk more about it tomorrow.”

“Alright John. Let's get some sleep.” He was right. I was rushing and I wasn't the only one to be considered. John said he needed time and for him I would wait forever. We cuddled together under the heavy duvet and John's fingers ran over my head slowly. My eyes closed as John petted me to sleep and I dreamed of softness. Soft tenderness. Soft sweetness. Soft warmth. Soft safety. Soft.


	3. Seeking knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tess has attracted the attentions of both Sherlock and John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the beginning of a drastic change in character for both Sherlock and John.

I awoke hard. John was on the edges of sleep. I reached for the lube and slicked myself. With an eager hand I prepared John and entered him swiftly after pushing him onto his belly without a word. Oh he was glorious. I set my knees on either side of his hips to ride him slowly, sinking myself in with deliberation. I knelt back and squeezed his buttocks together to maximize their pillowy appearance and just groaned as I thrust through their softness. “God just like that Sherlock. Harder! Go hard!” Oh yes my Captain! I tightened my grip and began to drive myself ruthlessly into John's backside. His hand disappeared beneath him and soon he was almost whining. I felt my balls tighten, felt my body coil and then John moaned deeply and I couldn't stop myself. I came loudly, jerking back and forth as I spilled myself deep into his flesh.

I sank forward and just dragged in one ragged breath after another. I felt so satisfied, so replete. I pulled out slowly and let myself fall to my pillow with a grin. “Good morning John. Your ass was lovely.”

“Thanks darling. Good morning to you too.” John just lay there, eyes closed and a weak smile on his face. “I'm wiped out again. That was so good Sherlock.”

I grinned and lay back. I had enjoyed it very much. This morning had been highly enjoyable but not as overwhelming as so many of our sessions were. I saw that our orgasms, while always very enjoyable, could differ in intensity depending on many factors. I began to think of those factors as we lay there. Eventually I realized that my hand had wandered down and that I was stroking my half hard flesh idly. “John?”

“Yes darling?” he sounded sleepy.

“I'm still aroused.” John giggled and I smiled but kept stroking myself.

“Want to fuck me again?” I smiled and lay there getting harder and harder. I felt John move and then he was straddling me. “Move your hand Sherlock. Let's fuck.”

I loved it when he was blunt. “Yes. Let's fuck John.” That's what we did. We didn't make love, we fucked. It was messy. It was noisy. It was sweaty. It was filled with grunts, groans and accidental banging of noses together or slipped hands. At one point John had his hands on my shoulders kept his head thrown back as he rode me savagely. At a later point I had my arm wrapped over his good shoulder, holding him in place. Our foreheads were pressed together and my feet were planted on the mattress as I drove upwards hard and fast. Our flesh slapped together loudly and I was making John grunt gutturally with each thrust. “My brave soldier! My glorious doctor! Oh god John. I'm coming, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!”

I groaned deeply and impaled John with one last mighty shove upward. He hung there, knees off the mattress and shouted as his cock let stripe after stripe of semen release all over my belly and chest. I crashed back down. Both of us were trembling with effort and John didn't wait to slide off of me to shiver and groan into his pillow. I was shaky and found it hard to breath for several minutes.

“Sherlock?” said John from the depths of his pillow.

“Yes John?” I had my arm over my eyes, still breathing hard.

“I actually do want to fuck Tess.” Ah.

“That's fine John. We'll call her later and ask her for tea.” This would be very fine indeed.

We lounged indulgently then until the need for the bathroom was impossible to resist. We dragged our lazy selves out of bed and spent a long time in there getting cleaned up. I shaved John's face and he shaved mine. Afterward John went to make breakfast while I stripped the bedding. I shoved all the soiled sheets in the wash and sat down to each with John. I sipped my tea with satisfaction. “You're sure John?”

We were eating now. I had just had a bite of toast with egg and John was eating the last sausage. “I'm sure Sherlock. You?”

I thought for a brief moment of all my soft dreams. I was positive Tess had inspired them. I didn't feel edgy or nervous. I felt intrigued and alight with curiosity. “I'm sure I want to try. I think....well actually I'm not sure what I think but that just makes me want to try more. I'm not sure if I understand what I want John.”

“I think I do, a bit.” John ate some more egg. He was eating slowly, thinking with every bite. I crunched my toast and drank the last of his tea. He didn't notice so I poured him another cup from the pot. Finally breakfast was done and so was John's thinking. “We need to learn. It's our thing isn't it. You particularly. You need input. Tess is strangely appealing to both of us precisely because of her oddities. Being odd is something we understand very well. You're as odd as they get. In this town, she must stand out like a sore thumb. I think that's why I like her so much. I want to protect her but like you she doesn't really need it though it might be good for her. I want to get to a place with Tess where I can protect her. You want to get her to a place we can learn from her. We both want Tess equally but for different reasons, yet they are reasons that work for the other of us so somehow that makes it alright.”

“Text her John. Ask her back tonight. We can go to the village and lay in some food for dinner. She likes to eat and I remember at least two baked recipes from her family book. We'll need supplies though.” I didn't want to say condoms but John understood. I wanted to try sex with a woman not father a child. I hoped she said yes.

John texted: Tea tonight with the WHs?

A couple of minutes later: This is how you woo? Tempting but feel you need to make an effort. TA

The letter A. We hadn't even asked her last name. John looked grimly at the text and then in a flurry of thumbs he created a whole new text and sent it: Tess. Sirs Sherlock and John Watson-Holmes do humbly request your gracious presence for tea this afternoon at our cottage for conversation and cake. -JWH

Our phone chimed a minute later: Wine? -TA

John answered: Yes -JWH

Tess replied: Don't wear yourselves out. See you at tea. -TA

Oh. How delightful. John and I grinned at each other, feeling very successful. We dressed and drove to the village to look over their wines. The selection was somewhat dismal. We climbed back into the car. John drove us to the much larger community an hour away. We shopped carefully, buying a selection of reds and whites, a large number of cheeses. We walked the aisles until I'd located everything I recalled from her family cookbook. We had to then locate a kitchen supply store for appropriate baking dishes and suffer the elderly woman at the counter who told us how to prepare the pans properly. 

It was early in the afternoon by the time we got back home. John helped me put everything away then went to clean the cottage while I carefully put together dinner. I remembered all the things Mrs Hudson had explained to me and did my mixing and chopping with care. We chilled several bottles of wine as well. When I'd placed the giant meal into the preheated oven for a long slow baking I joined John in tidying. We'd made a lot of a mess in just a couple of days. I helped him tuck in crisp new sheets and changed the pillow cases. I ran the soiled clothes through the wash and then we wiped the house down and swept everywhere. An hour before tea everything was shining and sweet smelling. I put the laundry in the dryer then John and I went to shower.

We argued over clothes. I felt that suits were warranted for what was ultimately a seduction but John countered with familiarity. Almost no one in the town wore suits. It would put Tess off. We hadn't asked her to dress up for the evening so we compromised and wore our best slacks and jumpers and our finest shirts underneath. “You look very handsome John. Tess won't be able to resist.”

“You're the bait Sherlock. If we're going to bed her I'm betting it's you she goes to first.” I rolled my eyes. Who would look at me when there was the blatant temptation of John Watson right there? He was entirely enticing. I ran my hands over him and kissed his neck. “That's brilliant darling but she did say to not wear ourselves out and she's going to be here any minute.”

“You're right John. I'm very excited. I don't know what to do. We made no plans.” I kissed him softly again and was comforted by his expression.

“I didn't want to. If this happens I want it to happen naturally, not because we orchestrated it to happen. She's not some random shag. We like her. We want to get to know her and not just in the biblical sense. She's interesting. I think we could be friends.” That was it exactly. We wanted her to be friends with us, to share what she knew and hopefully get back something from us she found worthy. Sex would be interesting too if it happened. We were abundantly prepared now with four different types of condoms and two different types of lube waiting in the bedroom dresser.

A knock at the door had us both jumping up. “Was this some kind of cruel tease or do one of you plan on opening the door?” I let her in. She squeezed me absently as she had before and just handed me her coat like we'd known each other forever. I rather liked it. I hung it up and followed her to the kitchen where John was putting the kettle on. She hugged John hello then plunked herself down, “Skip the tea love will you. Straight to the wine if you don't mind.”

Well she was direct. John took the kettle off and I pulled out the wine glasses from the top shelf. “Red John. It will go well with dinner.” John poured red wine, a healthy glass each. They clinked together in a wordless salute. Tess had a long drink then sat back.

“I'm inclined to just say yes but feel I'm worth a bit of convincing so fly at it boys. Tonight you can see if you can break down the walls. I'll warn you though that every brick has a reason and a story so good luck.” Well she was as refreshingly different as one could get!

I looked at her carefully. “You aren't opposed to our advance? It was incredibly unplanned and poorly executed.”

Tess looked back to me. “That's why I'm inclined to say yes though you haven't actually asked me anything directly. If it had been planned then my answer would have been a firm 'no', followed by a 'fuck the hell off' and possibly a 'I hope you find your balls one day'. That's just me though.”

John smiled as did I. I liked her directness and her cleverness. There were no hidden things with Tess. It was all brutally laid bare. It was a quality I found most admirable. I looked at John and pleaded again. He just laughed softly and sat across from Tess and looked at her. “Sherlock and I find ourselves in an unusual situation Tess. You interest us. More important to me, you interest Sherlock. You were absolutely correct about our situation. We do want to know what you know but we don't want it to be a clinical discussion. We're both quite taken with you and for us that's saying an incredible amount. Up until two days ago neither Sherlock or myself had the slightest interest in anyone else apart from one another. We came here to get away from anyone who was even remotely important to us. Yet here you are and here we are. I want you to fully understand the rarity of this situation. Sherlock doesn't like anyone. I mean anyone. He finds people irritating and wishes most of them would never come within a hundred feet of him. He's gay. Also he's essentially asexual except for me and now strangely, you.”

“You're not gay Doctor Watson?I see, well you've been quoted as saying such several times. Yet in fact you are in a homosexual marriage with your asexual partner. Allowing for the unavoidable crassness of the question, how exactly do I fit into this scenario. I'm fat. Over forty. I'm difficult. I've been called eccentric, which is a kindness because I've been called a lot worse. I'm divorced. I'm testy. I'm also impatient with prevarications so spit it out already before I get annoyed.” Oh she was so blunt. I felt light headed.

“Tess I would like to propose a sexual relationship between you and my husband and I where together we learn what you have to teach. I am very comfortable around you and feel this comfort will translate into the bedroom where I have a lot of gray areas, and indeed, areas that are completely blacked out. I suffer from a woeful ignorance, something that has caused me trouble time and time again. Since I am literally beginning my life after my rebirth of a mere month ago I wish to shed my old self and understand my new self. John is my devoted partner but in many ways he is as ignorant as I. We both want something, something so new to us we can't even formulate words to describe it to one another. You have dropped into our laps as an untapped resource. We offer ourselves to you, like students if you will.” I was eloquent and sincere. Tess sat back and waved her empty glass at John who filled it.

Tess considered me for a moment. Her eyes were a lovely brown, chocolaty and penetrating. I felt myself drawn closer so I sat at the table and leaned towards her slightly. John was still sitting upright in his chair. He'd barely moved and hadn't changed expression at all. Tess looked at him. “This is something new isn't it. Has Sherlock even slept with a woman before?”

“I haven't engaged in intimacy with anyone but John. John on the other had has an extensive reputation. Three Continents Watson he's called by those who know him.” John just grinned. He was relaxed and simply waiting. Tess' eyebrows shot up.

“Three continents! Well, that's something new too. I can't say I've ever been with anyone with intercontinental expertise. You must be the devil in bed. So again I ask. Why me exactly?”

John looked at her considerately, “He likes you. For me it's really that simple. My whole goal in life is to make this man happy. Part of that is making sure he is unbound, although we've agreed to some guidelines as to how that comes about. I care for him, romantically as well as physically. Sherlock is a genius, a true genius. His mind is the most remarkable construct I've ever encountered and one thing we know is that it needs stimulation. He needs answers to his questions almost more than he needs food or sleep. In fact, if you know him at all, you'll find that food and sleep are irrelevant to him given the choice between those human functions and learning. I provide the checks and balances. That's my job. You are in possession of the very skills we are currently interested in expanding in ourselves. Both of us are attracted to you. For both of us it is because of who you are. Your physicality is not a deciding factor. We like you. If you think you are testy or difficult then I'd have to say you don't really know Sherlock. A more aggravating person does not exist on this planet.”

“I have been punched right in the face countless times if you needed proof. I'm sure I could draw you up a very long list of people who would be willing to explain exactly how difficult I am. John doesn't seem to mind me though.” I wanted her to be interested in us as we were. For the first time, I wanted someone who wasn't John to know who I was for real. Tess laughed merrily.

“People have actually punched you! Oh ho that must have been a sight. Well that's all very well and fine to know my physicality is unimportant. Soul crushing but fine.” She looked at John.

I had to say something, “Tess I find you very physically appealing. In fact, you are the very first woman I've ever found so. Your eyes are brilliant. John loves your hair too. He said it was glossy. Your mouth is kissable. I would like to kiss it. You look soft all over and for me that's almost irresistible. You are beautiful in my opinion.”

Tess's laughter pealed out, “Soft all over. Well you've got that right Sherlock. I thank you for your compliments. That was nicely done.”

John smiled softly and looked at her through his lashes. Tess bit her lip as he gave her his crooked grin, “If you are accepting compliments then I'm going to add that your ass is out of this world.” Tess laughed again and sipped her wine. The dinner bell chimed and I carefully extracted the meal from the oven. John helped me serve.

“Grandmother's baked stew! Well done Sherlock. You even got the dumplings on top right. Well done indeed. Dig in boys. This should be a treat.” It was. It was savory and flavorful. She had to smile when John and I shared a plate together.

“That's lovely. Been doing that since you got back I bet.” John nodded. We finished our meal and enjoyed another bottle of wine as we relaxed. I washed up and John looked at Tess again.

“Sherlock and I nearly died. We were literally on our last legs. My depression was so complete my body was shutting down. You were right when you said I grieved. I couldn't get over losing Sherlock. I wanted to die. I couldn't bear living without him. When he came back to me I was so grateful. We vowed to never let our inhibitions stop us the way they'd stopped us before. You were right again, everyone in the world knew we were in love except for us. We vowed that too would never happen again.”

“It's all very tempting. For me the biggest bar is your marriage. My marriage ended because of an accusation of infidelity. My ex-husband decided I was cheating on him and undertook to punish me for my treachery but never bothered to verify that it had even occurred. As a result I have very little trust left in me so I ask you again, why?” She was unmovable. John topped up her wine glass while I assembled a platter of cheeses and crackers. 

“John is a terrible liar Tess. Look at him. He's as honest as the day is long.” My brave soldier would never be unfair to a lady and she was a lady. A deliciously interesting lady.

“What about you Sherlock? Are you honest?” She pinned me with a stare.

“No. I am a consummate liar. My life has depended on being able to lie myself out of any number of situations. I have been trained for it since I was an infant. I am however entirely truthful with John. I don't lie to him and I haven't lied to you. Of course, since I'm a liar it falls to you to decide whether or not to believe what I've said.” I kept things as plain as possible with Tess.

“My body is a wreck. Why would you want to make love to it? I'm scarred all over from a large number of ordeals. Is that appealing to you? I am no supermodel. I went to seed years ago.” Now John was the one chuckling softly.

He looked challengingly at Tess. “We'll show you ours if you show us yours. I'm betting we can match you scar for scar and still have plenty left over.” Tess gave him a challenging look back. She was absolutely fearless and my heart fluttered again.

“You're on Watson. Scar for scar. Let's head to the living room. This sounds like it's going to get heated fast.” She was entirely bold! I followed her closely, enchanted with the way she moved, the way she spoke, the way she thought. I checked out her bottom. John was right. It was amazing. Plush. Big. Soft. Oh. “Sherlock are you staring at my ass?”

“Yes Tess. John was right. It's a bit of gorgeous.” I saw her cheeks turn red. I'd made her blush. Suddenly a wolfish grin bloomed on my face. The game was on.

Tess stood at the end of the coffee table with her glass of wine. She took a sip and set it down. Unbuttoning the cardigan she'd worn she rolled up her left sleeve to show us a long heavily stitched scar. “Car accident. Glass.”

I shook my head and removed my jumper to roll up the sleeve on my right arm. There was a faint tracery of scars there. “Knives. Also track marks. Well, I was an addict remember.”

John pulled his jumper off too and rolled his left sleeve up. “Knives as well. I was being used as a message.”

Tess looked at our scars and tugged up the edge of her skirt. On her leg was a long reddish mar. “Burn. Barn fire.” I doffed my trousers without a word and extended my leg. “Gun. Scatter shot. I picked the lead out myself.”

John undid his trousers and slid them off. He tugged down the hem of his red pants to show a scar on his hip. “Sniper. The wound healed perfectly but under the right sort of stress I develop a psychosomatic limp. I left my cane in London.”

Tess regarded the scar for a long minute. She unbuttoned her blouse and turned her back to remove it. She was wearing a black bra underneath but all over her back were a multitude of scars, all long and thin. “I was raped once. Rather brutally. The person who did it wanted me to die slowly so he left me to bleed out after he was done with me.”

Rage shook me to my core. I'd find out who that someone was. If they hadn't already been punished they would suffer. John was rigid as his eyes took in the sheer number and volume. He calmly unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it from him. I followed suit. Tess turned around and we were standing there side by side in only our pants. Her eyes widened as she looked at us. John pointed to his scar, my favorite scar. “Sniper again. This one was the one that nearly killed me. This was the one that ended my life as a surgeon and a soldier.” His chest had many other scars on it but none as prominent as the one on his shoulder. Tess's mouth dropped open as she looked at his shoulder and then the rest of the scars he'd gotten from guns, knives, burns and so many other things.

John stepped away from me so I could extend my arms. My entire torso was covered with long thin scars. My stomach still had reddened marks that criss-crossed each other. Some ran over older scars and where they met my skin had protruded and left behind small knobs that were tender to the touch. John had kissed them often. I turned slowly and heard her gasp as she saw the wreck of my back where not one inch had been spared. John's voice was thick. “He was tortured many times Tess. Many times. He was hurt and alone. He went mad and so did I. He killed. A lot. He did it all for the love of me. He's never hurt another person beyond damaging their dignity until the last three years. His skin used to be flawless. He had a half dozen or so real scars but the rest all faded as he healed. He'll never lose these. He will carry these scars for the rest of his existence. 

I turned back to Tess and walked slowly towards her. I stood in front of her and let her just look at me. Her hand came up and with the greatest delicacy she touched me. My eyes closed upon contact. It was exhilarating. Her hands were warm and oh so soft. Her fingers explored gently, following my scars downward until she was at my belly. I was breathing harder and when I opened my eyes I saw outright hunger in her face. I stepped back.

John stood in front of her now. She explored him with curiosity and he looked at her intently. When her fingers stopped tracing over him John stepped closer. She didn't move away. He stepped in again and lifted her chin up with a finger. As I watched John leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth. Tess's eyes slid shut and I watched pleasure flicker across her features.

I sidled up behind John and cuddled up to his naked back. Daring greatly I reached out and touched her. Tess's eyes flew open and she was almost startled. She looked at us and she seemed defenseless. John stepped to the side and then Tess was in my arms. I leaned down and for the first time ever I kissed someone who wasn't John. Her lips were so soft under mine. I pressed a little harder and licked her bottom lip gently. She opened her mouth in a small gasp and I took the advantage, allowing my tongue to slip in to deepen the kiss. She tasted like wine and honey. Without further thought I devoured her.

When I came to my senses Tess and I were on the couch and I was straddling her heavy thighs. Our bellies were pressed together and her lips were red and swollen. I looked into her eyes and saw a rage of desire. “Tess, can we take you to bed?” She nodded and I smiled and kissed her gently before removing myself. John was entirely erect and unashamed. Before we moved to the bedroom he pulled Tess into his strong arms and kissed her passionately. My erection was instant. I practically tore John's arm off trying to urge him to bed.

With a laugh we all tried to move at the same time and fell over one another. That broke the tension that was building and we laughed again. Suddenly there was a mad scramble to strip off the last of our clothes and to get to the bed which seemed damnably far away. “Fucking hell. I'm about to get nailed by Watson and Holmes!” stated Tess bluntly.

“Oh yes sweetness. I hope you planned to stay the night.” said John hotly before he pushed her back onto the bed. We kissed her everywhere. I loved the sounds she made. She was all soft sighs and gentle groans. Her skin was like sugar and I couldn't resist licking my tongue over her beautiful scars. I filled my hand with the soft parts of her and felt myself grow harder. Oh she was so plush and there was so much of her.

She was wrecked already. John ran knowledgeable hand over her flesh but for me she was nothing but discovery. She was wet! Between her thighs was a slick soft patch of wetness. I leaned down to taste her and discovered she was salty and sweet, musky and intoxicating. John helped me spread her legs wide and urged me to taste her soft folds.

I did the same thing with her I had done with John. I experimented. I tried different licks and angles. I pressed soft and hard. I delved deep and traced her outermost secrets. I toyed with her hard nub and was rewarded with a savage groan. I learned to approach it shyly, that direct stimulation was not stimulating. Her body began to grow tense. Her hips bucked a bit. I sucked on her gently, rolling my tongue over her sweetest of spots and felt her fingers digging into my head. Her panting breaths became broken moans and suddenly she was shaking. A rush of sweet fluids ran from her and I lapped it all up, savoring the unusual flavor carefully. I sat back and looked her over.

Tess was limp and panting now. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to be collecting herself. John lay beside her and gently brushed hair away from her sweaty brow, patiently waiting for her to come down. Hard and aching I lay beside her and observed. “That was stupendous. You've never done that?”

“No Tess. This was a first for me.” I lay on the pillow and tried to ignore the ache between my legs. John was hard and dripping and I just drooled for him.

“Sherlock has an oral fixation. He likes to give head, a lot. I've mentioned he's an addict, right?” Tess laughed weakly.

“I'm undone. I know you want to fuck but that had to be the most intense orgasm I've had in quite some time.” John petted her softly and I leaned over to begin kissing her flesh. I loved how full her body was. It was interesting, with hidden bits and little secrets to discover. “I see what you mean John.”

“I want to fuck.” I murmured as I kissed my way over her. Either she would let me enter her or I would fuck John but one of them was going to take my cock very soon. I let my hand wander between her thighs and I pressed inward slowly. Tess moaned and let me.

It was so different than how John felt. He was watching me explore, his hand stroking over his thick cock gently. I slipped two fingers into Tess and explored delicately. She was filled with damp ridges and yielding flesh. I found a smooth bit behind her pelvic bone and applied gentle pressure. She moaned and got wetter. This must be the G-spot I'd read about. It was the female version of the prostate gland. I didn't know why others had such trouble locating it. I'd found it right away and I didn't know what I was doing. I stimulated it carefully and was rewarded with increased dampness.

I looked up to watch her face by John was kissing her and I couldn't see it. A bit frustrated I decided to taste her again. I was interested in exploring her entire body carefully but the demands of my penis were overriding the demands of my mind. I almost hurt now. I leaned down and let my tongue run up her slit. I was fascinated by the changes in texture, the coarseness of her pubic hair, the incredible softness that grew plumper and sweeter the more I worked. Her colors were interesting too. She was dark between her thighs, as if all the pigments in her body had collected there. When I parted her folds she was a shocking pink inside, the color only enhanced by the darkness of her outer skin.

Finally Tess groaned and pushed John away. “We're not learning anything significant tonight John. Let him have at it.” John laughed softly but reached over to dig around the drawer where we had everything waiting.

“Sit back on your heels darling.” he asked. I sat back on my knees, breathing heavily and feeling very, very tense. John came over and kissed me deeply. I moaned into his delicious mouth and held still while he licked her off of me. I groaned even louder when he made a show of kissing his way down my body. He looked right at Tess then swallowed me down. Oh! My head fell back and I could only shudder as John's mouth tasted me fully. He withdrew after only a minute. I was frustrated again but then realized he was opening a condom packet. I held still as he rolled it on for me. I thought he'd also dribble on some lube but then I realized I didn't really need it with Tess.

Together they guided me between Tess' wide spread legs. She was propped up a bit on a pillow, her belly rolled up and her breasts hanging freely. I wanted to lick my way over those folds and hidden places but John was helping me position myself at her entrance and her hand was on my hip and I could not stop myself from sinking forward.

Time slowed for me. I felt my hardened flesh pushing it's way into her tenderness. She was hot inside and soft, so soft, so incredibly soft. Oh. I leaned forward and she was so soft all over. My hard spare body was cushioned from chest to toe with Tess and I could not stop the sounds I made. When I was fully seated I battled with myself. I wanted to empty myself in her without making a single move. It was close and she let me breath before she took my breath away entirely.

“You're so beautiful Sherlock. So fucking beautiful. That's it beautiful one, feel me. It's good isn't it? You feel good too, d'you know that? Hard and dangerous. I want you to move your hips darling, pull back gently then in again, slowly.” I did as she asked and promptly forgot how to breath. She was exquisite. I repeated the movement, unable to stop myself from sorting out the differences in sensation from penetrating John and penetrating Tess. Both were intensely satisfying. I rocked my hips harder, arching my back a bit so my thrust went upward a bit and she gasped. “Holy fucking hell do that again!”

I did it again and she moaned deliciously. John took her face roughly and began to kiss her cries away. I was lost in the simple repetition of what I was doing. There was no finesse, no skill, just an animal response to fucking. It seemed like no time at all but Tess was gasping. She held me tighter inside her and it was so hot. Her moisture had gotten substantially heavier and I was sliding in and out of her swiftly. The ridges and folds inside her grazed over my cock perfectly and when she clenched down on me my entire cock was enveloped in her grip and I could not stop. My eyes rolled back and my whole body thrashed and flushed as I came and came and came. I lost myself for a long time and returned the way I always did. “John John John John John John John.”

They moved me off of her. I curled up on the bed and held my knees, unable to process a single thing. I kept my eyes closed. I heard her talking to John softly, their voices hushed, “He's saying your name. That almost hurts my feelings. Is he alright?”

“It's a lot for him. When things get to be too much he's taken to chanting my name to calm himself. He's been doing it since The Fall. He's got no controls anymore. He's stripped bare. He'll be alright Tess. Look, he's incredibly happy. You made him come until he was nearly turned inside out. That's a happy chant.” Tess giggled and then John giggled with her. I smiled as much as I was able, happy that they were happy because I was so very happy and I couldn't move.

“I hate to be a pest sweetheart but if you don't let me fuck you right this second I'm going to be very cross with you.” John sounded darling and Tess giggled again.

“I'd hate that. You'd better just come here then doctor. One straight up fuck, as ordered.” I peeled my eyes open with difficulty. John was on Tess and I watched as his hips pushed forward. I heard Tess gasp, “Holy fucking fuck are you a big boy. Jesus John. Gah!”

Whereas I had enjoyed Tess with natural simplicity John was enjoying Tess with all the years of experience he had. I managed to get to my pillow and watched him fuck the living hell out of her. He moved Tess all over the bed. Sometimes her legs were up, sometimes they were down. He kissed her a lot. He tasted her face all over, plundered her mouth with his. Sometimes he just pecked her cheek or her forehead but his hips never stopped.

She came. Frequently. Unlike us Tess could have as many orgasms as we could trigger. John knew every trick there was to get her to come over and over again. She was loud. She was guttural. She was very appreciative and not shy about asking for things she liked. Well, she'd ask if she could speak. Most of the time she was unable to form words. That must be John's special skill because when we had sex I frequently was unable to speak. I was enjoying the show. I realized I wasn't jealous at all. I didn't feel awkward at all. My husband and my new friend were fucking like rabbits next to me and I was untroubled.

Finally John held her face in his hands. She had her hands on his hips, her knees high and wide. He was drilling into her fast and steady and both of them were staring into the other's eyes. Sweat beaded over them and they were breathing harshly. Finally though, John's eyes rolled back but hers did too and they came together, shouting and bucking and falling apart. John slumped off of her, struggling to breath. I leaned over him and removed his soiled condom. I knotted the end and tossed it into the bin next to mine. I then lay behind John and let him recover in his own time. I kissed the back of his head but kept my body from pressing against him because he was hot and needed to cool down.

Tess rolled away and faced the wall, panting hard. I admired the scars on her back and memorized the placement and layout of them. I would find out more about her attack. I had vengeance to wreak and I was a master. Tess was no one's to hurt. John wouldn't mind. It was something I wanted very much now and he said he didn't want to limit me. I entertained myself with different ways I could hurt my unknown foe and came up with a pleasing list.

Her breathing slowed and became regular. So did John's. I shifted a bit and managed to get a sheet loose and covered them up. I fit myself tight against John's back and breathed him in. He was covered in Tess's scent. I liked the combination. She smelled like books and ink and cake. John smelled like tea and gun oil and hot sand. I fell asleep thinking about that and my dreams were filled with softness.


	4. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tess has a story that Sherlock wants to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of traumatic imagery in it. Be warned. This is also where the new darker parts of Sherlock and John begin to come out.

“One of you bastards needs to move or I'm wetting the bed. That's a real threat alright?” Tess's morning voice was thick and rough. I felt John laugh and both of us pulled our legs up high so she could clamber across us. We listened as she used the toilet. It flushed and we heard the taps running. “Jesus fuck John! Look at my fucking neck!”

“Oops.” said John sleepily. Tess came back in the bedroom and kneed me in the back. John and I shuffled ahead and she crawled in behind me. I liked how cool she was, damp and stale smelling still but comforting somehow. She just sagged into the pillows and lay there. I made a decision and wiggled around until I was facing her. I took her in my arms and settled her head on my chest. John rolled back to me and fitted himself against my back and reached an arm over so his hand was on her hip. I let my hand wander up and down her waist, enjoying the fullness of her body. I could see the love bites all over her neck. They were plentiful but light. Most of them should fade by the end of the day. John and his marking. I smiled.

I was exploring her scars when I realized she was getting tense. I withdrew my hand, “Sorry Tess.” She remained rigid and then slowly relaxed back into me.

“It's alright sweetheart. I'm just not used to anyone touching them. No one has really. I haven't had a lot of lovers since then. It's been a long time.” That might make it difficult for me to find the perpetrator but not impossible. It just added to the challenge.

John hugged us both comfortingly. “Sherlock is rather fond of scars. He practically makes love to mine. I expect he's very interested in yours and has something to say about that. Breakfast first though.”

“I do need to pee too John. I'm getting up.” I kissed Tess on the forehead and John squeezed my bum as I climbed out from between them. They just closed the gap and held each other, eyes still closed. I didn't mind and used the bathroom by myself for the first time since I returned to John. I did keep the door open though but then I realized, so had Tess. When I was done I washed up and went to the kitchen naked and brewed a pot of coffee. When it was ready I set out cream and sugar, sliced up some bread for toast and pulled out everything I wanted John to cook for breakfast.

They appeared a minute or so after I was done. Tess was wearing my robe and John was in his. I was still naked so I went back to the bedroom and climbed into my pants and pajamas before rejoining them. Tess was nursing her coffee and John was laying sausages in a hot pan. I sat beside Tess and put my arm around her. She leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder. “I like you very much Tess. Thank you for last night.”

“How in the world did he ever get the sociopath label John? He's a lamb.” I rather enjoyed how she asked John about me instead of asking me directly. I just kissed the top of her head.

“He was mislabeled as a child an no one bothered to correct him. His mother is a heartless cunt. She did her best to make that label come true.” John was whisking eggs now and putting together one of those eggy things he knew how to make. They were delicious.

“That's Violet Holmes right?” I was startled. Almost no one knew who Mummy was. Tess just looked at me. “I'm not a plant of hers or anything sweetheart. She's been mentioned in the papers the last few days. Always small articles, almost unnoticed between larger ones. It seems Mrs Holmes has chosen to retire gracefully from the boards of nearly every association she's ever been on. From what I can gather she's off all of them. She's decided to leave for Italy or something. Sounds like a bit of crap if you ask me. That woman has finagled her way onto those seats for years. It's all over the net. They call her The Black Spider. She sounds charming.”

John stopped cooking and looked at me. “Lady Spencer.” I nodded. She had approached us at the wedding about Mummy. She was the Chair for the Arts Council. Had they all decided to remove Mummy because of how she was with me? How unexpected. I felt warm inside. John served us up, kissing me first then Tess before refilling our cups. He sat at the end of the table and held my hand as we fed one another. Tess had her own plate and just smiled at us as we ate in companionable silence.

When we were done I got up and washed everything while John sat next to Tess and held her to him. She seemed to like a lot of physical contact and that made us all happy. I liked her very much. I was comfortable around her. I couldn't recall anyone apart from John that I'd been instantly comfortable around. “So last night. That was something.” she said as we retired to the living room. She had sat on one end of the couch with John beside her. I lay on the remainder and settled my head on his lap.

I thought about all the questions I had. I sat up and looked over John at Tess. She glanced over, “Tess. Would you mind telling me about your back?” I looked at her steadily, unsure if she would be offended or uncomfortable. Instead she just sipped her coffee then set it down. She pulled her legs up and crossed them, sitting back away from John. She looked at both of us. “Everything you're willing to tell us.”

She sat quietly for a minute. “I was married, divorced now, like I said. It was good in the beginning but it got less good as time went by. I...I had a child. A boy. Sammy. He's not with us anymore. When he was five he got ill. It happened very fast and I went from being a happily married mum to being a tragically alone divorcée. It only took weeks and years of life were totally undone. My ex husband decided Sammy's illness was my fault. He blamed me. He'd gone a bit off when Sammy was sick and our whole lives fell apart after my boy died.”

John's breathing was ragged but soft. He was so caring, so loving. Her words affected him deeply. I felt a twang of sorrow because I would never meet Sammy, this son of Tess who must have been a tiny marvel to have come from her. “What happened?” he asked her and took her hand.

“Kevin went mad I suppose. His grief had changed into hatred. He decided I had made Sammy vulnerable somehow, susceptible to the disease that killed him. Sammy was weak from it, it was a rare cancer and he might have pulled through but he had a heart attack and he didn't make it. He was so small. We buried him and got a divorce. We couldn't bear to be with one another. It was too hard. About a month after the papers were signed Kevin asked me to meet with him at a place he'd rented. I thought he had something to say to me, or something to give to me, or just something. I wasn't expecting anything dramatic. He'd rented a farm property. There was a big barn and he took me there, saying he wanted me to see something.” Tess got up and left the room. I heard the door slam and realized she'd gone out. John and I scrambled to follow her. She was outside and already smoking. She handed over her pack and John and I lit up.

“There was a fucking bed in the middle of the barn. One of those old wrought iron ones and a big saggy mattress. I didn't know what to make of it. Suddenly I was tied to it. He'd knocked me on the back of the head, cut away my clothes and tied me naked face down on this moldy bed with rope he must have found somewhere. It was old. I could smell the rot everywhere. I was terrified. I begged him to let me go. He laughed. “You killed my boy you fat cow' he said over and over again. He raped me, vaginally at first but later on he raped me every way he could. Each time he'd take me he'd also use this rusty fucking knife to slit my back open, like hash marks to keep count.” I was sickened. She had over a dozen marks on her back. He had raped Tess over a dozen times. John looked like he wanted to vomit but Tess was cold and distant.

Her voice was soft and almost tender now, “I remember the smells the most. The mold. The rotting hay. The stink of the ropes that held me. The blood. The rust on the knife. His cum was all over me, in my mouth, all over my back. It dripped everywhere and it burned with hate. It stopped hurting after a while. I suppose that's shock for you. I stopped screaming after a bit too. It was pointless. Small things caught my attention. The creak of the bed as he used me. The songbirds in the rafters flitting around as if nothing untoward were happening right beneath their little wings. I was so warm. I felt so calm after a time and I became detached. I didn't struggle. I didn't beg. I just let him do as he wished without protest. I guess a day or more had gone by when he finally decided he was done. He wiped himself off with my dress. He threw the knife on the mattress which was red with my blood. He lit a cigarette and shared it with me. After I had my last drag he walked out the barn door and tossed it into a pile of hay. The barn caught fire fast enough. I don't know how I got out. Maybe my ropes broke. Maybe I used the knife somehow. All I remember was dragging myself past burning timbers through the old cow shit on the floor, over the rotting boards and bird droppings until I was on the grass outside. People had noticed the smoke and rushed to put out the fire. They don't bother waiting for things like the fire department. Neighbors just rushed in and started throwing water on the flames and that's how they found me. Bleeding out on the grass with cuts all over my back covered in shit and semen. Kevin was never found.”

I was standing tall. I was taut with rage. John's feet were planted and he had that look on his face. He looked at me and there was fury in his sweet blue eyes. We didn't have to ask each other. He looked at Tess. “Kevin will be so sorry.”

Tess laughed brokenly. “It's been five years John. How is Kevin going to be sorry? He disappeared without a trace. I healed. I moved on. I found men who didn't find me hideous and discovered that at least that hadn't been taken from me. I don't trust though. That I came here at all was unusual. That I let you touch me begs questioning. Why? Why you two. Why together or indeed at all? What can even Sherlock Holmes and John Watson do for me?”

I regarded Tess for a minute and then went to stand in front of her. I was too tall. I didn't want her to have to look up at me so I knelt. “Kevin will suffer. I know of him now. He will be found dead or alive. He won't stay alive for long, but long enough. He will understand what he's caused to be done. John?”

John stood behind me and put his loving hand on my shoulder. He spoke so softly, “I was told they call Sherlock Death's Apprentice, Shiva's Son. How much do you really know about what he can do?”

Tess sniffled and looked down at me. “He's an exemplary detective. The Art of Deduction. Seeing and Observing. He's good at finding out what can't be found.”

“Exactly Tess. Sherlock finds what can't be found. What people don't really know, well some people do, is that Sherlock has been on a bit of a learning curve while he was dead. He's learned a lot of things he might not otherwise have known and he wants to use those skills for you. I do too.” John was serious but Tess didn't quite believe yet.

“Sherlock is a detective. What will we do with Kevin once he's been found? Arrest him?” she sat down in a wicker chair shakily, tears beginning to form. I leaned in and took her hands in mine, kissing her smoky fingers tenderly.

“Why would I arrest him? I plan on killing him ever so slowly. I will wring every drop of blood from him before I tear his heart out and rip him to pieces.” I kissed her fingers again, dedicating myself to her the way I had to John. For Tess I would do as I had done for him. I would destroy her enemy.

“You're not a murderer Sherlock. I can't ask that of you! John, speak some sense!” Tess was shocked, deeply shocked. I felt a bit sad and I let my head drop down and stared at her knees. I let my head continue to drop until I was resting on them, still holding her hands.

“You're right. Sherlock is not a murderer. He's a miracle of death. He has spent the last three years wiping the earth clean of the worst sorts of villains. I have killed, I'm good at killing but Sherlock is a god now. He's being venerated as a living deity in some places. They call him a demon.” John was proud.

I tilted my head a bit. “I do like Aisha's words.” Tess had pulled her fingers from mine and my heart broke until I realized she was stroking my head. I melted into her and let her touch me.

“Yes. Opal eyes. Aisha is a nine year old girl Sherlock saved from becoming a whore to a rich man who liked young virgins. Sherlock saved her, all the other girls with her and destroyed the men who had attempted to profit on their innocence. I don't think anyone knows the true body count except for Sherlock and I.” John's words rocked Tess to her core. I tentatively raised my face to look at her. I was afraid she would be revolted. My fingers trembled and I had to force myself to look into her eyes. I exhaled with relief when I saw the dreadful hope in them.

“Tess. Let me do this for you. I very much wish it. I cannot bear the thought that someone has done you harm and has walked away. I feel you are important to me. I can't say I love you the way I love my John but there is definitely something between us, something I've grown very attached to in these few days. John and I made our choices and bear the scars to prove that we made the right ones. You are scarred through no choice of your own for something that was not your fault. I cannot bear this. It's wrong and it eats at me. Please, give me permission to do this.” I had to ask at least.

Tess understood me. She understood the way John understood. “You're going to do it anyway aren't you. Me giving you permission is you respecting me but you're going to find Kevin regardless.” I nodded. I would not lie to Tess anymore than I would lie to John. “You don't even know my last name.”

“Do we need to?” I asked. What was a name for someone like Tess? Should we know her because of her paternalistic connections or did we know her already for the connection we had found with her. John was as smitten with Tess as I was.

“For the purposes of the search I admit it might be useful. Kevin was Kevin Martin when we married but I was born an Archer.” Well she did have a point. Having his original name would be useful but not necessary. I already had enough information to begin. I knew he was out there and that's all I needed.

John leaned over me and kissed Tess soundly. “Well Tess Archer. For all intents and purposes you have just become the business of Sir Sherlock and Sir John Watson-Holmes. We're terribly difficult to get rid of. I hope you don't mind.”

Tess's laughter was wondrous. It was rich and many toned. I closed my eyes and let it wash over me. She chortled again. “Well fuck me.” she said disbelievingly.

“Alright.” I stood and picked her up easily. She was solid but well within my abilities to carry. Tess giggled and kissed me as John opened the door to the house. There were lots more giggles and bodily sounds. The bed rocked daringly many times and on more than one occasion it threatened to break. I got impatient at one point and prepared her the way I normally did with John. She was shocked but said nothing. I would replace her bad memories with others. “This will be different Tess but I swear you will love it.”

I entered her as gently as I could. She shivered and bit her lip as I pushed in. “Oh!” she said and began to weep but rocked back into me as I made love to her. “Oh!” she said again and then her whole soft sweet body began to shake and she was crying out her pleasure and I filled her with softness. I let her fall forward and then John pushed me down beside her and took me in full view of Tess. I went mad. He was so good at this and I was completely in his control. John rocked me savagely. He thrust just right and made me howl. When I was shouting out nonsense again he began to move so hard so fast. 

“Sherlock! Oh god! That's it my fine beauty. Oh fucking hell. Sherlock. Hnng! Hnng! Ahhh!” John bucked wildly and we both shuddered from head to toe as we came at the same time. John fell onto my back and stayed there.

I was totally gone. I was riding high once again and could hear myself chanting his name over and over again. I felt soft fingers on my scalp and a sweet low voice soothing me gently. “We're here darling. We're here. You're here with us. Shh sweet angel. Shh.” I felt John retreating and instinctively I curled up against Tess while John wrapped his arms around me from behind. I stayed there safe and warm until I was able to process again. I opened my eyes. Tess was staring at me with wonder in her eyes, “I've never seen anyone come like that before. It was almost holy.”

“I love John entirely. He loves me. Our bodies are separate but we are one.” I explained to her and she nodded thoughtfully.

“So I'm not having an affair with Sherlock and John. I'm having an affair with Watson-Holmes.” I tried to laugh but I couldn't quite manage. John had a soft chuckle though and reached over weakly to flap his arm against Tess in an attempt to pat her.

“You do have the most thrilling way with words Tess. Come on ducks. Let's shower.” John got us out of bed and we had to take turns showering because there simply wasn't room for three and it was too unfair to ask one of us to stand alone. I was pushed in first, then Tess and then John. 

Tess had to wear her clothes from the night before. “The walk of shame. Who would have figured.” John pinched her bum and she smacked him on his. “None of that doctor. We've already had our bit of rough. Now either feed me or take me home so I can change before someone sees me.”

It was too early for lunch so we took her home. John drove us through town and she directed us to another small cottage surrounded by masses of flowers. There were some distinctive white boxes off to one side, “John! Bees!”

“Oh, don't mind them. I just keep them for a bit of honey. Fascinating little bastards. Wrote a book on them once.” John stopped walking and I rooted through the vast pockets of my Belstaff. I pulled out John's book and we looked at the cover. Tess Archer.

“Tess! Oh if I weren't already married!” I lamented as I looked the book over. I realized what I had said and bit my lip when I looked up at my husband. John was grinning from ear to ear.

“Don't be so sure you would have won her first Sherlock. I'm the charming one, remember.” John's smile was warm and joyful. He hadn't been offended. I sighed with relief.

Tess looked at her book in my hands and just laughed at us. “Like I'm about to get married again. I always said I'd get married once and only once. Well I've used up my one marriage so tough for anyone else who might have been getting ideas. It's all sin or nothing for me now. Come on in. I'd say excuse the mess but that would imply that I care that you'd be offended.”

“Oh John!” I said with my heart in my throat. She was divine just like he was. John laughed and took my hand to follow Tess into the chaos that was her home. It was like being back in 221B. There was even a skull on the mantle but it was an animal and not a person. Stacks of books and papers teetered precariously all over. Dust had been removed from places she clearly used a lot but the rest of the house suffered from deliberate neglect. It wasn't exactly dirty though it was dusty, it was controlled chaos. I felt at home immediately. “Oh John!” I cried out again.

On a book laden table was a violin case. It was old and clearly long untouched. I looked at Tess. “Was my dad's. No one has played it in nearly eight years, not since he passed. Go ahead. See what you can do with it.” I removed it reverently. I rosined the bow and tuned the instrument carefully. I closed my eyes and let the music flow. I played through a selection of classical pieces then I moved on to some contemporary songs I knew John liked. Suddenly my heart clenched as the sweetest most heavenly sound I'd ever encountered joined me. Tess was singing. She was in the kitchen making lunch and she was singing with me absently. I didn't falter but I was shocked. Her voice was pure honey, sweet and clear. It was a rich tenor, the kind of voice you'd hear in a jazz club or opera house but not in a frumpy cottage in rural England.

John was beside her. He'd walked over like he was in a trance and stood beside her. He brushed his fingers through her hair and settled a hand on her hip. Turning her away from the cutting board he took her in his arms and kissed the sound off her lips. “You are brilliant. Amazing. Marvelous. Tess Archer, you have quite stolen our heart.”

“Don't you mean hearts?” she asked with a small smile but John just shook his head.

I lowered the violin slowly. “He means heart. We have just the one.” I smiled and played again as John kissed her for me. He made it soft and loving, just the way he kissed me when he was particularly happy. When he stepped back he began to help her make lunch and I stifled a giggle when she reached down and pinched his bottom casually. John blushed but didn't move away though he did bump his hip into hers with a light laugh. That was it. We were in love with Tess Archer, no question.

John finished up while Tess went to change her clothes. When she came back tea was ready and the stir-fry they had put together was hot and steamy. She dumped it all onto one large platter and handed us a fork each. “I fucking hate washing dishes. You lot share anyway. Why should I have to wash an extra plate?”

“Okay Tess but I eat a lot and Sherlock is fast so don't cry if we gobble it all up.” She snorted at John and suddenly it was a race. We giggled and gagged but scooped food in as fast as we could until three forks hit the very empty platter at the same time. John swallowed his last bite with wonder. “How the fuck did you do that!” 

“I've got five brothers John. You don't think I know how to clear my plate before the vultures descend? Don't be silly. Now I've got to wash up. What do you want to do today? I've got some writing to get done at some point. I've got deadlines you know. I can't live in the height of poverty without sales.” I looked around. She was definitely not wealthy but she wasn't impoverished. I saw a laptop buried in the stacks and made myself not touch it.

“Well honestly I'm betting that Sherlock wants to have sex all day but if you've got work he might just settle for having sex with only me.” John was amusing but correct. I had a taste for Tess and I wasn't satisfied yet. She just shrugged.

“Well I really do have deadlines. It's difficult to grow a reputation and I value mine, false name though it is. Bugger off, literally. I'll call you tonight or tomorrow or the day after or whenever it is that I'm done.” I sat back and John just blinked.

“That long?” he sounded as dismayed as I felt. Tess just gave us both a look but I was undeterred.

“Tess we want to spend time with you. I'm not terribly patient. That's a great deal of time. Are you sure?” I wasn't trying to pressure her. That would be Wrong. On the other hand I was trying to be truthful but I did feel a little concerned with how demanding I'd just sounded.

“Oh dear. Have I hurt your feelings by asking you to continue your honeymoon with your handsome husband while I slave over pulp porn to pay my bills? That's devastating. Tell you what Sir Needy. I have deadlines to meet. Some are a ways off, some are very soon. You've just made me an offer I literally can't refuse, as trite as that sounds. Given the nature of that request I can't help but think that a large amount of time will be required. In order to participate, and you'd better fucking believe I'm coming along, I need to meet my obligations beforehand. Now kindly fuck off so I can do that. I'll finish when I finish but it won't be more than a couple of days, three at the most and then you'll have my undivided attention for as long as you require.” Her sarcasm just made me want her more and I said so. Tess laughed heartily and came over to give me a messy kiss. “Shove off Sherlock. Your puppy eyes may work on John but they don't work on me. I'll call you when I'm done and that's as much as I'm willing to promise. Don't worry, I'll be missing you plenty. Leave.”

“What about sleeping then, you'll need to sleep at some point. Why not sleep with us? We'll come collect you.” I was going to try every angle I could but she wasn't budging.

“By sleep you mean fuck. I won't have time to fuck, I'll be sleeping. Here. Alone. With my work. Go fuck John. He's gagging for it. Take a jar of honey on your way out. Just go. M'not patient Sherlock and you're beginning to test me. John? Take your nympho and go.” Tess gave me another small kiss and tugged John over for a repeat. John took me by the hand and hauled me protesting out of Tess's home.

“She needs time Sherlock. We can't have everything our way every second. She's an independent person. You can't just expect her to sign over her entire existence to us just because we've gone batty.” I knew John was right but I complained anyway.

“We could have helped her or something. We could have stayed there even and been available.” I was being silly and I knew it. John was smiling so I kept going. “We could have cooked for her and gotten her chores done and maybe if she took breaks we could sneak in kissing or something.”

John was laughing at me now and I was grinning. He'd known I'd just need to gripe for a minute before conceding. “Done now?” I nodded so he took my hand and led me back to the car. We drove home and I lolled around the sofa while he read Tess's book on bees out to me. We ate peckishly in the kitchen whenever we got hungry and took ourselves out for a walk. It was a lovely summer day and I missed Tess.


	5. Questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John have found that they have a deep interest in Tess and her past.

“How did we get so accustomed to her so fast!” remarked John finally. He hadn't said a word so far about her. “We're idling our time away waiting for her aren't we. We should be looking into her case while we've got time on our hands.”

Oh John was brilliant! We hauled out his laptop and began our search. We didn't get much so I hacked into Mycroft's government account and used his resources to pull up absolutely everything there was to be found about Kevin Martin. We went to the village and importuned Mr Jameson who was the only one we knew well enough to even begin speaking to. “Kevin Martin? You've become friends with Tess then. Of course everyone round these parts knows all about what happened between them. How could we not! She's one of our own, odd as she is. Kevin was from the coast villages but lived here long enough to fit in quite nicely. Their boy was a treat, sad that. I'm not exactly sure I should be talking to you about this though. Tess is a very robust woman when it comes to defending her privacy.”

“It's because we've befriended her that we wish to know Mr Jameson. How could we not! You know who we are. This is what we do. We wish to find him and hand him over to the authorities. If he has passed on then Tess should know this so she can rest easy. It can't be comforting to know that this person is just running about unaccounted for.” Oh I could be so convincing when I chose. The trick was to include just enough truth to stick the lie together. Mr Jameson nodded. “Of course we're doing this as quietly as we can. That's why we came to you. You know how to be discrete. We don't wish to actually pry into Tess's affairs, she'll tell us on her own or not. On the other hand we are rather famous for finding people who are wanted for crimes and I would have to say the Mr Martin has most deservedly caught our attention.”

Mr Jameson looked at us for a long minute as an internal debate played out. John just waited patiently and I tried not to fidget. Finally he sighed and asked us to follow him to his office. We sat on hard wooden chairs while he dug in his filing cabinet. “This is a small village Sirs. Most families have been here since Rome really. Tess's family is old blood and like most old families there are records everywhere. She doesn't fall anywhere significant in her family tree but that's always suited her just fine. Kevin was comparatively new. His family moved here when he was a child, but for these parts he's practically a stranger. We don't know his family really, his parents passed on when he was in his late teens and he only stayed here to be with Tess. I can't speak to their relationship but it always struck me as very odd that Kevin could be able to disappear so entirely. We searched. Oh yes we searched. Tess is an odd duck but she's our odd duck and even the people who might have never invited her to tea combed over the hills and shores looking for any sign of Kevin Martin. People were horrified, outraged. Tess is a good person. What happened to their boy was a tragedy. She did not deserve to be tied up like dinner and carved to pieces!”

At this point Mr Jameson plunked a big file down on the desk and mopped his eyes with a great square of cotton he'd pulled from his pocket. He was very upset. “When Tess recovered she was very different. Less inhibited. Stranger. No one objected. She could be as strange as she liked provided she continued living. This file here is everything we've found. There are five copies of that file, just in case one of us passes on, but it was put together by people like myself, my cousin the constable, and three other relatives of Tess. I don't know if she knows we do this. We still search. Haphazardly I will admit. Poorly, no doubt. That bastard disappeared without a trace and we've never found hide nor hair of him. This is a list of the relatives he has that we've uncovered, the lists of everywhere he lived and everything else we could scrounge up on him. It's useless to us. We can't put it together. My cousin did as much as he was able to with the resources he has but Kevin hasn't been with his family since he moved here, his parents are gone so we can't talk to them and his closest friend was Tess.”

I took the file and began to sift through it. After a long perusal I said, “It's entirely possible that Kevin has killed himself and we're looking for his corpse. In the time he's been gone he has not been spotted anywhere.” I held up a picture of him having already committed to memory. “Someone would have noted and mentioned him somewhere if he was alive. Still, we're going to look. Tess is our friend.”

Mr Jameson nodded and accepted without question. John looked at him casually. “We'll be taking her with us when we leave. She has information we need. I don't want the village to worry. We'll look after her.” Mr Jameson looked relieved!

“Oh good! Thank you Sirs, thank you! I cannot express what an easing of the mind hearing that is. Poor Tess. She was a sweet child, so smart, so funny. We never would have thought Sherlock Holmes would be interested in a simple missing person's case but then, you did help with the missing children. I know I haven't given you much to work with, there isn't much to give. I'll get hold of the other folders just in case there's something in one but not the others. Good luck Sirs, good, good luck. If Kevin has indeed passed along no one in this village will shed a tear. His own wife! His own loving wife! It's unspeakable.”

We shook hands with Mr Jameson after extracting the promise to come by later in the day to pick up the other files. Sandwiches were given to us again, practically forced into our hands along with two take-away cups of rather brutal coffee. John and I went to the green and sat at a picnic table to eat and go over everything. John looked up at me. “Do you realize that this was happening to Tess the year we first met?” I shook my head but John was correct. The year we were both learning of one another, awkwardly getting closer and struggling to hide our burgeoning feelings Tess had been clinging to life and sanity. She would have been barely healed when we were here yet she still came out to help look. I grew cold at the thought of her injuries. I wasn't accustomed to feeling anything intensely for anyone but John but now I couldn't help but think of all the time on earth where Tess had lived and breathed and I hadn't known about it. I hadn't a clue. I had no idea that someone who was a match for John in remarkableness was part of the world. That we may have never met her made my insides clench and I gripped John's hand. “I know darling. I feel the same way. She's right. This is a bit of a turn up.”

“Wretchedly appropriate phrase. We came to the village to get away from everything. We managed to fall in love with a woman in two days and jump feet first into an investigation. I wonder what Mycroft and Gregory have done.” John laughed and squeezed my hand affectionately.

“Greg secretly likes antiquing. They're probably shopping themselves to death.” John was still leafing through the folder as he spoke. I couldn't even imagine DI Lestrade wandering poky old antique shops with my fat brother looking for end tables or collectible pieces of art nouveau. It was getting toward dinner time and darkness was falling. John's mobile buzzed.

“Fine. Dinner. Bring lots. One kiss each THAT'S IT. Working. - TA” We didn't hesitate. John called a local restaurant and ordered dinner for take-away. I put everything we'd spread out back into the folder and we went to the store to pick up wine and a selection of nibbles to leave with Tess after we ate. John felt she'd appreciate having snacks for later when we weren't with her. We were bubbly and excited, pacing outside the restaurant until our meals were ready. I hurriedly paid for everything and then we were off.

Tess greeted us at the door and tilted her head up for a kiss but I looked at her suspiciously. “Does this count as our one kiss each?” I demanded. She raised an eyebrow and said nothing. Fine then. I would assume it was therefore I was going to make the most of it. I pressed my mouth to hers and kissed her with every ounce of skill I'd garnered. She tasted so sweet, she was so soft, she was so warm. I made it last as long as I could and then I let her go. She was smiling softly at me.

“Most people give each other a peck on the cheek when saying hello, not try to suck the tongue out of their heads.” she commented dryly.

“Well you said I could only have just one and I am not exactly known for my moderation.” I said, equally dry. I stepped aside and smirked as John kissed her so hard her toes curled. Tess was breathing hard after John let her go and she smacked him in the arm.

“Cheeky bastards! Well you'd better come in then. I'm busy.” we went inside. Tess had cleared off her work desk to make room for tea cups and saucers with crumbs on them beside her laptop which had the lid down. “Don't think you can peer at my work either Sherlock! You may be Death's Apprentice but I'm pretty sure I could book you at least once before you strike me down.”

Her books were hefty. That would be painful as well as humiliating. “I had no plans to look at your work.” I lied easily and she laughed, clearly not believing me. Oh. Were there any more ways for her to appeal to me? So far she seemed to have an unlimited amount of delightful qualities. John cleared off her table and set out the meal we had purchased. It all came in individual containers so we portioned everything off and ate directly out of them. Tess was quick and too soon we were all done.

“That was lovely boys. I need food to think and I ran out of biscuits about two hours ago so I relented and called for backup. Thanks for the supplies too. That will make slogging along so much easier.” She was picking through the selection we'd bought for her. The wine was already gone since we'd had it with dinner. “Okay. Thanks. Fuck off.”

I rolled my eyes but didn't complain because I knew we might not have seen her otherwise. I claimed another kiss though she struck my shoulder. She didn't pull away and John stole another one as well. She swatted him again half-heartedly. “Devils! Begone!” We left with huge grins on our faces as she slammed the door on us. We heard her laugh and were pleased.

We went back to the cottage in a good mood. It had been nice to see her, even if it had only been long enough to wolf down our food. John and I felt content with ourselves. John was humming as we began to re-examine the file. We got lost in The Work. I'd pulled out our laptop and began compiling everything into a database. I regretted not being able to scan in every document but John wouldn't let me go buy one. “We don't need another scanner. We have one at 221B you've never even used. We're not returning the files so we don't need to scan!” Fine. I called Mr Jameson and he came round to drop off the file copies. We poured over those too. John pulled out a packet of sticky notes and began to apply them to items of interest. Before long every flat surface of the kitchen and part of the living room was covered in bits of paper as we took Kevin's existence apart.

“We'll need to take these back to London to be examined properly.” I finally said in frustration. I nothing with me to assist. I didn't even have my magnifier. “Tomorrow let's go to the farmhouse and look at what ever is left of the barn. There's a map here, it shouldn't be difficult to find. We gathered everything back up and put it all away. It was late, almost two in the morning. We got ready for bed and cuddled under the covers.

“The bed feels empty.” said John. I nodded. Sleeping with Tess had made the bed seem warm and oh so soft. I could not help but give a regretful sigh. John just pulled me closer and kissed me tenderly. “She's a lovely handful isn't she?” his hand wandered down my side to cup my behind as he deepened his kiss. “Her skin is sweet all over. Both of you. Cream and sugar. When you make love to her...fuck Sherlock, when you fuck her it's like being surrounded by pure delight.”

I moaned as John began to talk about Tess as he touched me. We both grew hard as he rhapsodized about her breasts, her ass, her mouth. We fucked each other ardently, switching back and forth until we were both sweaty and loud. In the end John was in me. We were face to face and he was in a fury of passion. His cock flashed as he rode me hard. My hand flew over my cock as he rocked and twisted savagely. I was calling out. I begged him to fuck me harder, to hurt me. John bit at my neck and pinched my nipples hard and I turned into a gibbering mess. “John! Ah! So good! Ow! Fuck yes. Yes. Oh! Right there....fuck!”

John began to hammer himself into my ass. The bed protested as our combined efforts made it shake. “Beautiful. So beautiful. You're so wicked my love. So very wicked. Look at you. Look at you take my cock. So perfect Sherlock. Your ass is so fucking good to fuck. I love you. Fuck I love you. Look at your whole body just fucking quiver. Oh fucking hell do you turn me on. So fucking sexy. So fucking hot. Spread your legs. Take me in Sherlock. Spread wide. That's it love. Fuck you look absolutely filthy. That's it my lovely man.”

“John! Jooohn! I loooooove you! Hnaaaaaaaa! Jaaaaaaaaaaawn! Jaaaaaaaawn! Now! Fuck. Now! JAAAAAAAWN! JAAAAAAAAWNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnuaaaah!!” My cock throbbed and I came all over myself as John arched his body away from me to throw his head back. His hands were braced on my wide spread thighs and John was flushed all over. He bucked and shuddered heavily as he came. I groaned again when I felt his cum spurting inside me. There was no feeling like it, no culmination more satisfying than feeling my lover leave a part of himself within me. We melted together into a panting sweat-soaked heap of arms and legs. John was almost sobbing as he struggled to breath. I ran my hands mindlessly all over him, suffused in a rapture of bliss.

Eventually John removed himself and fetched a damp flannel from the bathroom. He cleaned me up and went to wash up while I lay on the bed, completely incapable of movement. John came back and helped me move my arms and legs out of the way so he could cuddle close. We tangled ourselves together and held one another. Foreheads touching we closed our eyes and let sleep catch us.

The next morning we showered quickly and downed a large but fast breakfast. John tucked our mobile into the pocket of 221 and we left to go find the farm house. After over half an hour of driving down the wrong lanes and missing some over grown fencing we came to a small and clearly abandoned farm.

The barn itself was nearly gone. The outer shell was mostly burned. There were large pieces of timber laying where they fell. The entire area had clearly been combed over by dozens of people countless times. There was no hope of finding any trace of Kevin's departure. The zeal with which his pursuit was engaged had erased whatever traces time might have spared. I hadn't expected any different.

John and I both stopped walking about though when we came across the burned remains of the bed. The mattress and ropes had been incinerated. There were only the rusted remains of the framework and the springs from the mattress. We regarded it silently and renewed our vow to find this man no matter what. Our lover had been tied and tortured there and no forgiveness was possible.

We moved differently now. John and I were hunters. We slipped back and forth across the property, our eyes noting every possible escape route, every possible way Kevin could have departed without the neighbors seeing him. The houses were out of hearing range but well within sight. No scream of Tess's would have brought them to her rescue but the smoke from the fire would have been immediately visible. We knew from the copious if awkward notes taken that everyone had used well established paths and roads to get to the barn. With five years of growth between us it was impossible to tell if Kevin had slipped through the woods to make his escape. It was frustrating but only strengthened our determination.

This was very different than solving a case in London where there was always eye witnesses or CCTV footage. In the city I knew every permutation of how evidence presented itself. Here in the country-side my skills were muted. Still. I was undaunted. This was just the beginning. It was well past noon before we emerged from the woods and climbed back into our car. John checked his mobile but we'd heard nothing from Tess. After debating for a minute about food we decided to just go hungry so we could examine the house.

It was a standard farm house. All the rooms were large but entirely empty. There wasn't a stick of furniture anywhere. The attic was bare and full of dust that had lain undisturbed for many years. We tapped all over any wall we couldn't get to the other side of and made our way down to an earthen floored basement. We ran our hands over every inch of wall but it was dark and damp. We heard nothing unusual when we tapped the walls and felt irritated that we were so ill equipped to search with assurance.

“Well it will all still be here if we decide to come back from London to have another look.” I finally said. John heaved a sigh and nodded. “Come on love, we'd better go eat something. We need to wash too. We're filthy and not in a fun way.”

John laughed heartily then and took my hand to return to the car. We looked around one last time then drove back to the cottage. After showering thoroughly we just got into our pajamas even though it wasn't quite dinner time. John cooked wrapped in his robe and I played my violin for him. He smiled softly as he listened.

We sat at the corner of the kitchen table and ate quietly, holding hands and feeding one another. John gave me small kisses and I eventually put my arm around his shoulder to hold him to me. We decided to just relax tonight. We'd gone over everything in the file as much as it could be gone over. Holding pieces of paper thoughtfully wasn't going to help us one bit. 

We cuddled for a while but then I got restless. I wanted something to do and I couldn't decide. Finally I just undid the waist tie of John's bottoms. He raised an eyebrow, “Weren't even going to ask if I was in the mood?”

“No. Even if you weren't you'd let me at least try and my trying would have changed your mind. We have a whole evening in front of us John and nothing to fill it with. Think of that.” He thought of that. He then took a couch cushion and dropped it in the floor between his feet. “Thanks John. My knees will get sore.”

I got him to shimmy out of his bottoms and pants. With a small smile I looked up at him before lowering my head to his lap. I closed my eyes and took in the scent of him. He was always deliciously musky and radiated an enticing heat. I ran my nose gently over his skin and breathed in softly. He was already growing hard so I took him quickly into my mouth to enjoy his progress. I felt him expand and grow firm. I mostly just held him at first, feeling myself become full. When the head of his cock finally began to bump against the back of my mouth on it's own I began to slide up and down his shaft, licking and sucking. 

I fell into a trance as I explored, tasted, nibbled and sucked his cock. I moaned with him, the vibrato of my deep voice making him thrust upward. I paid close attention to his balls, using my tongue to prod and lave them before sucking one and then the other while John stroked my cheek. I even pulled his hips forward eventually and began licking at his anus, fucking my tongue in and out of him. I opened him slowly, not rushing. We had all night if I wanted.

John moaned and let me do as I wished. He was flushed, the color staining his neck and chest as I savored him. I never got enough of tasting John. I fastened my mouth to his backside, sucking and licking until he was tender and fully open. Only then did I reach down and cup myself, hissing a bit at the surge of arousal that threatened to overwhelm my control. I stood and picked John up, carrying him to bed like I had Tess. He smiled and just kissed me passionately, his arms twined about my neck.

He lay me back on the bed and slicked my cock with lube. He reached behind himself and we grinned wickedly at one another. I held myself for him when he was ready and we groaned loudly together as he slid onto me. “You're so long darling! Fuck! I can feel you all the way up.” I wasn't much longer than he was but I understood what he meant. When John was in me I felt that bending wasn't an option. I was a few centimeters longer than him and he was above average. I had no experience with anyone else so I didn't care about size really. Neither did John. I made a distant note to ask Tess what she thought of us.

I began to thrust upward slowly, taking my time. I caressed John and he leaned back to brace himself on my thighs. I liked the position very much since I could see myself push into him but I could also touch him nearly everywhere. I took advantage of that. John's body wasn't as sensitive as mine but he still loved to be touched. I got distracted a lot when we had sex, too overcome with what my cock was doing and less with what the rest of me was doing but I was working on that. I kept my rhythm slow and steady and explored John's tight muscles. His nipples were pale pink and hidden in the hairs on his chest but I knew how to pinch and tease them until they were hard. I loved the rough feel of John's body hair and felt glad he didn't mind that I kept my body nude. I touched his thighs, his calves and even caressed the tops of his feet, cautious to not accidentally tickle him as we fucked.

I moved my hands slowly back up and watched as John's eyes closed slowly. He was lost in the pleasure of it all, our slow driving moves building our orgasm piece at a time. I reached back to cup his soft ass, spreading my fingers wide to hold as much of it as I could. I squeezed and rubbed over it, loving how my hands felt filled with John's body. 

John leaned forward, releasing my thighs and began to caress me in return. He knew how sensitive my nipples were, merely stroking over my chest was enough to make them rigid and aching. Anywhere John touched burned with a lingering fire that sank deep into me until I was moaning loudly once more. John began to fuck me.

My hips stilled and I lay there, delirious and wanton, his mouth now joining his quest to take me to pieces. When he began to worry at the nape of my neck with his teeth I shivered, my whole body arcing off the bed at the intensity. He nibbled his way up until he was nearly at my chin and he sucked lightly. I began to babble, my hands moving of their own volition, clawing at John's back. My hips rolled beneath him and I began to target his prostate with every wild thrust. Finally I clutched John's hips and drove him downward repeatedly, my fingertips bruising his skin.

His hands curled on my shoulders as he gripped onto me. Finally he sat back a bit and shuddered so hard I nearly lost my rhythm. He was trying to say something but all the air in his lungs just whooshed out and he came fantastically. I let him ride me through it but the combination of his semen now pooling on my hollow belly combined with the inner fluttering of his anus was too much. My groan shook the walls with vibration as I came so hard I couldn't see. My eyes rolled back more than once as spasm after spasm make me almost cramp all over. The rush of endorphins swamped me and left me mindless for an eternity.

I came back slowly. John was beside me, panting and weakly petting my arm. He'd cleaned us up and tucked himself along the side of my body. When I could open my eyes he looked at me. He sounded so satisfied when he spoke, “Fucking hell Sherlock. I came so hard I thought my cock was going to fall off.” I could not stop laughing and neither could he. It was weak and almost inaudible but we chuckled together for several minutes, our laughs triggering more giggles back and forth until it hurt to breath. “I love that I love my best friend and we can just laugh about things like that. It would be so strange to not just be able to talk with you.” 

I understood what John meant. We had always been so close. I'd always trusted that I could talk to John about anything at all, that even if he was crimson with embarrassment he would still work through my query until I understood properly. Now at least the embarrassment would be muted but I still had a problem with choosing private locations for my questions. More than once I'd rendered John scarlet at a crime scene or at the Yard or somewhere that conversations of certain natures should not be held.

“I love that my best friend loves me because I certainly love him. I love you John. You take me out of the bell jar.” I got a kiss on the arm for that. John was scrunched up on his pillow and couldn't be arsed to move just to give me a kiss on the mouth. John started laughing again. “What?”

“I just pictured you in a jar. Pickled Sherlock. What a rare commodity!” he shook the bed with his laughter.

“John your jokes are always awful.” I elbowed him and couldn't stop myself from seeing a huge jar of pickled me. “Thanks for that. I'll probably have brine nightmares now.” John was gasping for air and just dying of laughter. Eventually he got control of himself and we lay there just smiling at nothing and enjoying being together.

We were weary but awake so we climbed out of bed to have tea. There was cake left over so I cut us a large slice and shared it with John. Afterward he dug in his coat and checked his phone. “Shit, we missed a text from Tess!”

Well we had been rather occupied. We read it together, “If you ever stop rubbing up against one another you can come collect me. Unless it's after 11. I'm tired and will want to sleep. If you miss this don't wake me up OR ELSE – TA” We looked at the clock. It was 10:45.


	6. Our Darling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John find their new situation irresistable.

In a flurry we grabbed our coats and hurried, then raced back to the bedroom and grabbed our trousers and put them on. It was a bit of a mess. We stuffed our feet into our shoes and jumped into the car. John drove as fast as he could get away with and we rolled into Tess's driveway at 11:01. I ignored the clock and knocked sharply on her door. “Go away. You missed your deadline.” she shouted.

“May I inform you that I am amazingly stubborn as well as socially immature and will have no problem pestering you ALL NIGHT if you choose to not open this door. I am a little brother after all, I can be incredibly annoying.” Threat made. There was a long silence and then I heard a faint laugh. A minute later Tess pulled the door open and looked us over. She began to laugh.

“Coats, shoes, pajamas and no shirts. I guess that buys you a one minute forgiveness.” I grinned and John laughed. Tess was wearing a simple dark green dress and her hair was caught up in a messy knot. “Come on in then. I'll grab a couple of things.” We piled in and followed Tess to her bedroom. It was neatly made up and incredibly tidy. Her bed was small and made clearly as someplace to sleep only if and when Tess felt like it. Her wardrobe was simple and had a large mirror on the front. She pulled out an overnight bag and filled it quickly.

When she was ready I stepped forward and stole a kiss. She just rolled her eyes and let John kiss her as well. He offered her his arm and I took her bag. The drive back to the cottage wasn't made at the same breakneck speed and soon we were leading her into the kitchen. “It reeks of sex in here.” she stated bluntly.

“Well you told me to go fuck John. I took your advice.” I said just as bluntly. She barked out a laugh. “Tea?”

John made tea and I made her a snack. She looked very tired and didn't talk. We didn't care. John and I were happy she had called so we just tended her until she was done then led her bed. We undressed quickly and climbed into bed in a pile with me being the lucky middle. I was warm and happy, surrounded on both sides by so much love. I closed my eyes and let myself fall asleep to dream of soft things.

The next morning started fast. John woke up first and stroked me awake. That woke Tess and soon we were all tangled together in a sweaty mess of arms and legs. I got lucky again and got to try something I'd never imagined. I'd gotten Tess on her back and entered her as soon as I could fumble a condom on. I'd been so anxious to be in her once more. I lay on her fully and tugged her arms and legs up so she was holding me tightly. I just moaned when I felt John kneel behind me, his fingers slick and determined.

I reared back and presented myself as soon as I could. I bit and sucked Tess's breasts, their soft fullness delightfully different than the hard lean bodies of John and I. I'd never considered a woman's breasts to be beautiful but this was Tess and she was beautiful to me. They were big, not exactly rounded but heavy and so tender. When I lay on her I could cup her generous ass as well and that in and of itself was mind blowing and erotic. Right now I teased her nipples, biting and sucking softly. I was still partially inside her, could feel her inner throbbing. Her fingers clutched at my shoulders and suddenly I couldn't move. I buried my face in her chest and moaned deeply as John entered me.

When he was fully seated we were all panting. John shifted his knees carefully closer to Tess who was spread wide. He fitted his knees between mine and began to push me forward until I was entirely embraced by her slick warmth. I was tall enough to kiss her easily in this position and I caught her mouth and held it. John began to fuck us both.

I went insane. I couldn't deal with anything more than just accepting the heavenly raptures of what John did to me, what Tess did to me. Both of them rolled their hips at different times. Both of them caressed me, kissed my body, bit me. I couldn't do more than respond with groans, shouts and stuttered babbling. At the end they drove me completely mad. Tess held me to her firmly, her sharp cries matching mine. She was tense, stiff. She'd orgasmed so many times but this one was going to be massive. Like mine. I was on edge. I couldn't handle any more stimulation. John's rough grunts behind me were growls of possession. I started to suck in fast breaths as I began to crest.

As one they bit my neck. Hard. Tess and John pressed their teeth into the base of my neck front and back and I lost my mind as I came. The world went white again. I floated high above my body, watched it flail and thrash between them. I saw my skin blush from head to toe, saw the sweat dripping over our combined bodies. I heard Tess's shrill ululating cry, heard John roar. When my arms finally went limp I crashed back into my body.

I was so hot. I felt high, like I'd had the purest cocaine, the finest heroine. I was glassy clear and resonating with pleasure. I lay on Tess, completely unable to move. John was on his heels, head hanging back as he struggled to inhale. I could feel John's cum sliding down my thigh and loved the thought of the filthy mess he had made. When I could move a bit I sat back as well and removed my condom. Weakly John and I lay back down and just sagged there, completely satisfied. Tess had her eyes closed. John was next to her and he stuck his arm under her neck and hauled her close. “You two certainly enjoy cuddling.” she said eventually. John shrugged.

“It's nice. Nothing wrong with a cuddle.” he sounded satisfied and replete. I was still riding high, enjoying the universe and everything in it as my mind whirled and cogitated. Facts were assembled and disassembled. Puzzle pieces shuttled at light speed back and forth, some falling into place, others falling into areas where they might fit later. I was working at peak efficiency and it was delicious.

“I am rarely touched by others. John is the only person who has no trouble touching me. Even when we first met he found it easy to handle me if necessary. Of course much of those contacts were to keep me from bleeding out. I intimidate people. Not John though.” Most people kept their distance with me. Even growing up physical affection was uncommon. I vaguely recall Mycroft kissing my brow on rare occasions, and perhaps a brief hug or two if I'd had a nightmare and crawled into his bed for safety. I still was very young by the time he was sent away. John had clapped me on the shoulder, or taken my arm, or the time we were handcuffed together and running through the streets he'd clutched my fingers. I'd almost stumbled in shock at the time.

“That's fucking awful. What. No hugs from friends even?” Tess sounded a bit upset. I looked over John to see her face.

“John is the only friend I've ever had. I have been hugged by Mrs Hudson, Lestrade but that was very recently, and Molly Hooper. Before the Fall John never exactly hugged me though.” We'd been pressed together many times when in hiding or on a chase. We'd embraced each other briefly when we'd rescued the other not exactly hugging. I ran my mind through the memories of how John and I had touched while we were just flat mates. All those memories were neatly stored in a well used room in the John wing of my memory palace. 

“That you can count who hugged you is a statement in and of itself! What about your parents! Surely they must have been affectionate, at least when you were a child!” John and I both started to laugh when she asked this but that just made Tess even more upset. “No? That's fucking awful Sherlock! No wonder people agreed with the sociopath designation. You were never taught how to be physical. Who does that to a child?”

“Violet and Sieger Holmes.” said John. “I told you she was a cunt. I don't know about Sieger really but he didn't stop her did he.”

“Papa wasn't affectionate from what little I can remember of him. I suppose Mycroft did his best but then he wasn't there with me for long.” Tess looked furious.

“Well doesn't that just take the biscuit. No wonder you're so demanding and petulant. This whole new life of yours is exactly that, isn't it. I didn't understand properly before. Now I do. Sherlock is starting on page one of the book about the birds and the bees whereas John has the assorted travel guide and I'm like the Encyclopedia Britannica.”

“You really do have a thrilling way with words.” I admired. She had it exactly right.

“Well before you rifle my pages again I'm going to need the loo. Feel free to lay here to cuddle further. Sherlock has a lot of catching up to do.” I needed the bathroom too but she'd beat me to the punch as it were so I waited my turn. John had the amazing ability to go when the opportunity presented itself or wait forever if he needed to. I never restrained myself generally and many times John had been forced to locate lavatories or at least a discrete alley for me to use on demand. Eventually the toilet flushed and Tess washed herself up before returning to bed. John and I abandoned her instantly and fought over who got to use the bathroom first. I won but only because I pouted. 

“You spoil him.” called Tess from the bedroom.

“He's mine to spoil.” said John who winked at me. I grinned back at him. John was very good to me and I appreciated it. He gave me just enough rules to feel comfortable but generally catered to my demands because it made both of us happy. Even the bathroom tussle was more about fun than it was about desperation. Still I didn't linger because I didn't want him to be uncomfortable. After we were done we washed up, debated then dismissed the idea of shaving. Teeth brushed and faces washed we went back to the bedroom where Tess was dozing lightly.

“Let's make breakfast John.” He took my hand and we made a large pancake breakfast complete with sausages and a large pot of coffee. Since John was still cooking when the coffee was ready I went back and kissed Tess all the way awake. “There's coffee our darling. Would you like to get up?”

She nodded and stretched before letting me help her out of bed. She'd brought a silk robe with her and tied it on neatly before padding barefoot into the kitchen. She accepted a cup of coffee after explaining how she liked it. After her first sip she took a moment to twist her hair up into another knot, using the length of it to secure itself. “That was interesting. I did not realize a person's hair could be used to tie itself in place.”

“It helps when your hair is a wreck. It mats together nicely, sort of like felt.” she said abstractly. John laughed silently and I made a note to bring her to a salon when we got back to London. Maybe my gambit at Claire's would work a second time. I could introduce Tess to Molly too and Mrs Lestrade. How would we present her though?

Using my normal amount of time to reflect on appropriateness I asked John immediately, “John what to we refer to Tess as? We're going to have to present her to the people we know when we return to London. The game is on and we can't just say, oh here's Tess, and leave it like that. That would be a Bit Not Good.”

“I believe the term you are fumbling for is 'Demimonde' Sherlock though finding your average Englishman who understand the term would be incredible. Plus the length of time you'd require to explain the term anyway renders its usage pointless. There is the titillation of calling me your bedwarmer but that doesn't exactly encompasse my role as sexual mentor though I haven't actually gotten around to the mentoring part yet. You could say I was a close family friend but you only have your brother who could be considered close and we've never met. Also there is....” John cut Tess off.

“We'll call her our girlfriend Sherlock. It will turn a few heads but they'll understand enough.” he was firm and I nodded agreeably. We had a girlfriend.

“I'm sorry. Did I agree to be your girlfriend?” Tess sounded indignant but John just put a plate of pancakes and sausages in front of her.

“Sorry Tess. We've labled you. No backsies.” John said placidly. He handed me a plate too and I smiled as I put sausages on it and buttered the pancakes heavily. John let me pour an unseemly amount of syrup on our serving as well. I fed him the less sodden parts.

“I don't see why you should object Tess. I've never had a girlfriend. You'd be the first. You'd have unprecedented status in the world of social media. I've observed your webpage. It's very thorough and not maudlin. The photoshopped picture of our wedding where you put Mycroft in a pink dress was a lovely touch.” Her site was rife with pictures of John and I taken from local media and celebrity watchers.

“I didn't see that Sherlock. Really?” John laughed and sipped his coffee. I tugged out our phone and found the shot. John cackled.

“Greg looks like he's happy with the little woman.” The pink Tess had chosen for Mycroft was similar to the pink of their bachelor party shirts and clashed horribly with his complexion. I had been very pleased with it. The text “DI and Sugar Momma” at the bottom just made me love Tess more.

“You really are sublime Tess. Tell you what.” I made John come stand beside Tess. I stood on the other side of her and we snapped off several pictures of us. I manipulated the image on John's laptop and emailed it to her website as a post in a comment. Now there was a picture of the three of us standing together with little hearts floating all around us while John and I kissed Tess's cheeks. Tess laughed.

“Well that's subtle.” she said. Comments were already blossoming under the image so Tess logged into her administrator account and pinned it to the top of her page with the words “Guess who I hooked up with” in giant flashing letters. “There. The whole planet should know within the hour.”

Our phone rang about ten minutes later. I rolled my eyes and ignored it. It went to message then rang again. John answered. “Mycroft. Yes? How's the honeymoon? Greg? He's doing good? I'm not evading. I'm being pleasant. Don't use that tone, I'm on my honeymoon. Picture? Just explain. What picture. I have no idea. I'm sure it's one of those photoshop deals. Sherlock is right here, you can ask him if you don't believe me.” John covered the phone and stifled a laugh. “Mycroft would like a word darling.”

“Hello dear brother. How's your behind? No trauma room visits? Pity, it sounds like you've still got something up there.” John was laughing uninhibitedly now. Tess was biting her lip but her eyes were twinkling. “What picture? What do you mean a woman with John and I. What do you mean it looks like it was sent from my private account! Have I been hacked Mycroft? I thought your firewall programs were more secure than that. Is she one of those TV celebrities? I've heard fans do that sort of thing to make their lives less sad. What do you mean it looks genuine! Maybe you should just forward it to me. I'm having a hard time accepting this on your word alone.”

While we waited for Mycroft to forward my picture Tess was dying of silent laughter. She had a tea towel pressed to her mouth and her eyes twinkled with mirth. John wasn't much better, his grin blatant not helping me maintain my tone of disbelief. When my phone pinged I opened the attachement. Showing it quickly to my lovers I got back on the phone with Mcroft. “Oh. That's Tess. We're shagging her. What do you mean you don't understand. Coitus Mycroft. You understand coitus don't you. Oh dear, I'm getting an idea about why you ended up in trauma. Why are you shouting. Mycroft I can barely understand you. Here, I'm handing the phone off. I can't talk to you when you're like this.”

I gave the phone to John who could barely talk. “M..M..Mycroft? How can I help you?” We could hear my brother shouting at John who never stopped laughing. Finally he just gave the phone to Tess who listened for a long minute.

“Now see here Mysnob. I don't take kindly to being called a gold digger. Or a whore. They haven't paid me a dime, though that's an idea I'll table for later. What do you mean who is this. I thought you were in charge of MI6. Aren't you recalibrating sattelites in space right now to neutralize my national threat to your brother's sexuality? This is Tess. Who else would it be. How did I get to be as annoying as Sherlock. We've barely spoken for a whole minute, how'd you know for sure! What? We met in the street really. They were watching children. Then they bought a lot of cakes and watched children some more. Why is that wrong? I was watching the children too, they were so pretty. Little innocents, the lot of them. What? What do you mean what do I do. I write porn. What? I can't make out what you're saying. Hold the phone back. I think your spittle is clogging something up. Hello? Oh hello Lestrade. Um, you'd better talk to John.”

Tess handed the phone to John. Both of us were weeping tears of laughter. Tess just grinned cheekily and mouthed the words 'five brothers' to me. I tried not to laugh too loudly. John could barely speak. He was laughing too much. Finally he wheezed to a finish. He listened for a minute. “Okay Greg here it really is. Yes we're on our honeymoon. Yes we met a woman. Yes we were watching children, it was an outdoor play, their parents were right there as was the rest of the village. Tell Mycroft to pull his brolly out of his arse. Tess Archer. A-R-C-H-E-R. I don't know if she's been arrested for anything. If she has the records will show it. Of course Mycroft wouldn't do that now. It's because he's already done it, right. Apology accepted. Look Greg, yes we're incredibly fond of her. Sherlock was interested and she said yes. Listen, unless you want to explain the rest of that particular story I suggest you drop the insults. Because she's staying with us. What do you mean where will she sleep. With us, don't be thick. Say that one more time Lestrade, one more fucking tim....fine, apology accepted a second time. Describe her? Fine, she's like me and Sherlock rolled into a package with breasts. Fine! Continue gouging your eyes out. Listen, this has been lovely but we're going to go have sex now. In a big sweaty....Greg? He hung up on me. What an arse.”

I jumped up and kissed Tess ardently. I looked down at her afterward. “Tess you are amazing. Marvelous. Brilliant! That was absolutely perfect! I could see Mycroft losing his calm right over the phone. He never shouts. Oh John! You were marvelous too! That was the most fun I've ever had on the mobile!” Tess was finally roaring with laughter. It was as glorious as she was. Her laugh was vibrant and full of devilish enjoyment. John and I laughed with her. There would be hell to pay when the honeymoons were over and my brother came to collect his due but right now it was worth whatever blood he extracted from me. I was head over heels for Tess.

John came over and pulled Tess out of my arms for an appreciative kiss. He let her go and then kissed me ardently. We broke apart with a smile then started laughing again. This was the first real bit of fun we'd had with Mycroft since I'd returned. It felt like old times but in a better new way. I helped John do the washing up and then he let Tess and I go out for a smoke, declining to join the smoking part but joining us to sit around in the garden. We brought our coffee with us.

“That was a bit of fun. My brothers are all older than me. As the only daughter to a pack of toughs I had to learn right from my cradle how to be the most annoying. It's a gift really. I've made all of them cry more than once. I keep a list of the men I've made cry. It's at the house somewhere.” I was laughing again.

“Tess you are remarkable. I had no idea that there was women in the world as delightful as you. I can't wait to bring you to Baker Street and unleash you on everyone!” I was in raptures. John was just smiling proudly. He was also a little brother and Harry could stand being taken down several hundred pegs. I wondered if Tess would be adverse to accepting a list of my own. If anyone needed killing John and I could take care of it but making them weep with frustration. Oh!

“It all depends on the moment love. I can't just pull genius like that out of a hat like you can. We'll see if I can be mobilized in some useful way. I've never been to London. I may be overwhelmed with the stench.” London was a bit ripe but it was gorgeous. Everything about it was familiar and dear to me. I'd teach her to appreciate it even if she didn't love it. She looked happy.

“Did you finish all your work sweetheart?” asked John. Tess nodded. “How long till your next deadline?”

“I haven't accepted any new proposals. I don't want work hanging over my head. Since you've offered to keep me I expect you to pay my way. My home is my own. I owe nothing to anyone anywhere. I don't own pets or plants. Once I empty the icebox I can pretty much walk away forever if I choose. I'm not asking for forever but I do want to wrap this business of Kevin up. It's been difficult as you can imagine.” she was speaking seriously and we listened seriously. John looked at me and I nodded impatiently.

“Of course we'll pay your way Tess, we're knights. Sherlock turned out to be filthy rich, not that he ever told me until after we were engaged. You're our damsel in distress. If we had armour it would be shiny, you can believe it.” John was smiling softly at Tess. I knew he was completely happy now. She wanted us to look after her. John had been hoping for exactly this. I was deliriously happy. Everything was working out better than I'd hoped. I leaned in and kissed Tess again.

“You make me happy Tess. I'd like to tell you these things as they happen. It's part of how I'm learning.” I was being honest and she quirked a grin at me.

“You're not kidding. You're actually going to announce your feelings to me as you feel them. Well alright. That's novel. I can see how someone who's spent forty years being called a sociopath might need to do that.” Tess looked me over thoughtfully then shook her head. She leaned over and kissed me on the mouth softly. “You tell me whatever it is you feel I need to hear Sherlock, good or bad. I'll listen.”

I looked at her for a moment. “John and I have already been looking into your case. We've assembled a large amount of information, looked at the scene and I believe I can tell you how Kevin made his disappearance occur. I can't determine his location though, should he still be among the living, but I think I know what happened here.”

Even John was surprised. “Sherlock you didn't say anything earlier. Why?” He meant when we were going over the file. I corrected his missaprehention.

“I put all the clues together right after we had sex. I only just finished filing everything away and reviewing it. It's all so much clearer now. Someone helped him and lied about it. Tell me Tess, who else has moved away from this area in the last four years?”

John shook his head after my statement and looked at Tess, opting to just go with it. It would all become clear presently. Tess thought for a minute and looked at me, shocked. “No! Not Sarah Davon! Our kids were in primary together! She got divorced after....oh.....after I was attacked. She was gone by the time I was back....oh.” Tess was coming to some harsh realizations. John looked confused and he was starting to get upset. I placed my hand over his and silently begged him to be patient for Tess' sake. “So he thought I was cheating and began cheating with her as revenge. She helped him get away after he did what he did. She was one of the people who came to put out the barn fire. She gave me her coat to cover me until the ambulance arrived. She cleaned my house for me before I got back from hospital. Oh....she must have taken all of Kevin's personal things. They were gone but I didn't miss them for a long time. Oh. How did I not see.”

Tess was looking at her lap. She seemed to collapse in on herself and then John was there. He pulled her into his arms and onto his lap. She hid her face in his neck and curled up as best she could. I pulled her chair closer and sat behind her to lean on her back. John and I held her together. She didn't cry. She just huddled there for a long time. “We'll find them Tess. It's just time now. They'll have gotten careless. She left her children behind but there is two of them and two is so much harder to hide than one. We know what they look like. We know a lot of things. I don't need much. A hint. A trace. A rumor. I assure you Tess. I can find anyone anywhere.”

Finally she uncurled a bit but John held her tight. I rubbed her back and kissed her dress where I knew her scars were. I'd teach her that they weren't hideous. They were beautiful. She was beautiful. I finally just rested my head on her waist and held John's hand as we embraced her together. Her voice was almost acerbic when she finally spoke. “You two must really strike fear into the hearts of your enemies when you present yourselves in such a threatening fashion.”

John giggled. I loved it when he did that. I giggled too and Tess laughed at us. “Oh Tess. You are a marvel.” said John who kissed her fondly. “You really are brilliant. I like that so much.”

“You mean you want me for my brain and not my body?” she asked. John nodded. “Gee thanks.”

“I want your for your body. Your brain is just a lovely bonus.” I said and caressed her rather lucious behind. I was going to go further but our email chimed on John's laptop. I'd forgotten it on while we were toying with Mycroft. I checked. It was from my brother. There were several attachements. Of couse the nosy twat had looked into Tess. He was probably sending me everything about her since she was born! I was almost angry until I opened them.

“John. Tess. Look. Mycroft has sent us a gift even after we teased him.” They came over and Tess gasped. Mycroft had used his vast intelligence and communications network to provide a dense file filled with more complete information about Kevin. Mycroft had found out about Tess and taken it to it's logical conclusion. All of it ended right when he disappeared but there was still a huge amount of data beyond everything we'd already located. I began to look through it. Tess took John's mobile and began to type furiously. After about five minutes she sent her large message. Two minutes later Mycroft sent a text. “Thank you and you're welcome – MLH”

“What was that about?” I asked, still reading swiftly.

“I just sent your brother my mum's chocolate zucchini cake recipe complete with butter icing as a thank you for all this. It's a double gift. One – it's delicious, he'll love it. Two – I know he's on a diet so I'll laugh because there's about a thousand calories in every slice. He'll hate it.” I had to kiss her so I did so quickly. I went right back to work. After a while a cup of tea appeared beside me. I drank it. Later on it seemed like some sandwiches arrived. I ate them. More tea. Hours later I smelled cigarette smoke and I turned. Tess was waving at me through the window. She took a dramatic drag off it and I left the laptop.

John had fresh cups of tea waiting. I sat between the two of them and smoked in between sips. Tess looked at me expectantly. “Kevin has a large family spread up and down the coast. He's estranged from most of them due to his father marrying Kevin's mother. Kevin received a bit of an inheritance. He never mentioned it to you but he got it the year before your son was born. It had been sitting and earning interest for all that time until the week before your attack. It was emptied and closed. Tess who did Kevin think you were cheating with?”

“A man named Brock, Alan Brock. We worked together on some literary projects back when I was first trying to break into the writing world. He helped me reference the bee book amongt other works. We spent a lot of time together. Alan was in love with a girl named Bissy Smithe. Bissy lived two villages away but they texted each other all the time. As far as I know they're married. I haven't spoken to Alan since I was pregnant with Sammy. Kevin didn't even tell me he thought we were cheating until after the divorce. He'd believed for all those years that I had been unfaithful. I was stunned.” That unfortuately confirmed the next part of my theory.

“I believe Kevin began his affair while you were pregnant. There are financial records that do not match what we know about your life. Trips to surrounding towns. Hotel receipts. Clothing receipts that are not in your size, at least not currently. Even if they were I'd be suspicious about someone who purchased pink silk corsets for a woman who was eight months pregnant. I believe Kevin was using his undeclared inheritance to pay for his hidden affair.” Tess was getting angry. She crushed her cigarette out unfinished after I stopped speaking.

“That louse! That unspeakable bastard! He had money that whole time? We sold my family antiques to get by! He had to talk me into each sale. I resisted for as long as I could. I'll never get those things back again! Then to do....then to. Oh.” She'd been brave until this moment. That last bit of news was really the last straw. I felt awful. Tess was weeping now. She cried into her skirt and my heart broke. I dropped my cigarette and hauled her onto my knees the way John had done and held her tight to me. She sobbed into my coat like a child.

“It will alright Tess. We'll make it better. I promise our darling, I promise. I can get your things back. Don't worry about that part. We can help you. Let us. Go ahead and cry Tess, I find that it helps.” I stroked her back again and John went inside to get tissue and more tea. Finally her tears ran dry and she was limp and exhausted. John gave her a paracetamol and a glass of water. She downed them both and then he got her a fresh cup of tea. She got off me to go sit back in her own chair. 

“I wasn't seriously asking you two to pay for my life. I was really just thinking of meals and cabs in London. I'm independent now. I can't afford to repurchase my family things back. They were valuable. Even if I had the money I can't get them from collectors.” Well that was just a challenge wasn't it.

“Tess do you have a list of those sales? Receipts?” I asked her directly. I could do this easily but I knew two people who would do it together for the sheer joy they'd experience from the challenge.

She nodded and looked cautious. “I have photos of everything we sold, the appraisal records and the sales receipts. There's a binder of information at my house. Why Sherlock? Don't tell me you've got the kind of money to casually throw at this Sherlock. John?” 

John just looked at Tess. “Tess my dove, imagine all the money you have at your possession. Imagine that money is a pile the size of your little house. Now Sherlock's fortune is roughly the size of the Taj Mahal and Mycroft is looking a lot like Ghormenghast. They can afford this without noticing a thing. It makes me irritated. I did locum work for years supporting Sherlock and I between cases. We could have been just doing The Work! I love being a doctor but really!”

“I'll get Mycroft to find and purchase your family items back. John said Greg likes antiquing anyway. This will keep them gainfully occupied while we are busy.” I made a list of things I'd need from Tess's house and checked the clock. “It's still early. Let's get that list but first let's order some food and pick it up on our way back. I want more wine for dinner too. Come on, let's go. The game is on. Tess do you have a scanner?” John called for food and I practically forced Tess into her coat. I was deaf to her protests about the antiques. John drove us to her house and ignored her protests as well. Once there we had to pester her to produce the book. I then made her pack up her laptop and all her accessories to bring back to the cottage. We could set up on the kitchen table. We only used half of it anyway.

“You may as well pack a bag too Tess. I'd like you to stay with us a bit. We can come back and get your house ready to lock up. Once we get going we don't tend to retrace our steps.” She had given in and told us to just give her a short while. She packed up some of the food to put in our fridge. The rest she binned and just unplugged the fridge while I brought the trash out. When I came back inside John was packing her laptop up into a carry bag. We loaded up everything we'd retrieved and went back to the cottage after picking up our meal.

I was back in work mode. I networked everything together. John and Tess sat close to me and made me eat bites of food while I worked. I got a glass of wine and Tess made me have sips from it, holding the glass to my lips. I hardly noticed. Finally I vaguely heard Tess complaining that she needed to rest. I just called over my shoulder, “Go have sex or something. I'll join you in a while.” I was busy. I knew what I needed to do. I was typing and scanning furiously. I collated all the data I had and it was all falling into place. I closed my eyes frequently to sort through things and then typed at top speed for a long time.

Eventually I heard moaning. John was moaning. Tess began to moan too and I heard the bed creaking rhythmically. I smiled. They'd done what I'd suggested and slept together. Good. Now I could continue guilt free. I went back to work and forgot everything else. Every once in while I got up and made tea for myself. The cottage was quiet. I assumed Tess and John had fallen asleep. I felt better knowing I wasn't ignoring John. Or Tess. I forgot about them for a while and concentrated on my problem.


	7. Actions and Reactions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tess learns more about the men who are so very taken with her.

At some point someone was tapping on my shoulder. I didn't move. “Not now John. I'm trying to think.” John didn't normally bother me and this was an interesting bit. What would happen if...

“Sherlock if you don't turn around right this minute I'm pulling the memory card out of your phone and replacing it with a card filled with pop star trivia.” I stood up and whirled around and my body surged with adrenalin. Tess was glaring at me.

“What the devil are you doing? It's seven in the morning. Have you been at it all night?” She was loud and angry with me. I backed away from her nervously and tried to breath deeply. I was incredibly wired now. This was a Bit Not Good.

“John? Something is wrong.” I called. I needed John. John would know what to do. John bolted out of the bedroom naked. I looked at Tess and felt disoriented and almost sick with tension.

“What! What happened, are you two alright. What happened!” he was looking around, already on high alert. I pointed to Tess. She looked stern and very put out.

“She's angry with me. Why John?” I sounded unsure and nervous. I backed away and stood behind my soldier. I wasn't afraid of her but I was afraid I'd say or do something to hurt her. John would protect us both. It's what he did.

“Tess did you interrupt Sherlock while he was thinking and then yell at him?” John asked sternly. She frowned at him. I leaned over and just breathed in the calming scent of John but the adrenalin didn't fade the way I'd hoped. I breathed through my nose and stood up again.

“Yes. Why. Is he a child that can't be disturbed? Or an infant that doesn't know night from day?” She was looking a tiny bit less sure of herself, especially when John glared at her.

John was firm. He reached behind himself and I gratefully took his hand and pressed against his back, “Tess please listen carefully. Sherlock is a genius. A very eccentric one. A very insane and unstable one. Something you should never do unless his life is in danger is disturb him when he's thinking. Never ever yell at him. I won't have it. He's been dumped on enough in his life. Okay, this is how it works. He's solving a problem. Normally he stops eating and sleeping. That could go on for days. I think his record is five. He normally stops speaking too, not unless he's got questions and even then he may not even be asking you directly. He might just be saying them out loud. Also, and this is really for your own good, never startle him. He could have killed you Tess.” 

John's voice had gone soft and pleading. “We're damaged. So damaged. You know how long we've been falling apart. Two years, eleven months, six days, fourteen hours. That's how long Tess. That's how long it was from when he Fell to when he Returned. Please darling. We don't mean to sound dramatic. He's dangerous. He wouldn't mean it. He wouldn't do it on purpose. He's like I was when I got back from Afghanistan. He's got post-traumatic stress disorder. We don't even know what will trigger him. We just need to be gentle with him, learn about him, let him learn about himself. Sherlock cares about you. He's trying to help you. This is just how he is. He's so much better than he was.”

Tess looked stubborn at first and then she looked ashamed. “I'm sorry Sherlock. I had no right scolding you for staying up all night. You are helping me. I am grateful. I'm sorry for yelling and for interrupting. Now that I know I'll be more considerate about your habits. For the record when I'm writing I tend to phase out. I suppose it's only fair to tell you that if your interrupt me during a good bit of writing I will do something to cause regret. There. Now we both have things to be cautious about.”

“John has nightmares sometimes. You can't wake him when this happens. You can call his name softly in as deep a tone as you can manage. John will subconciously recognize you and he'll wake up on his own. If you try to shake him or touch him he will break you before his eyes even open. He almost broke my ribs one time and my arm another. He didn't wake the first time and the second time I went to the wife of a friend of his for advice on how to handle John.” John twisted around and looked at me in surprise.

“You did? Really?” he was very surprised. I'd never told him. This was early in our friendship. I suppose it was a significant marker indicating how powerfully John affected me, even at the height of my sociopathy. I realized anew that John had been striking the blows to shatter that image of myself right from the first minute we'd met. It was odd what we could see when we looked back.

“Yes. Your friend also had PTSD. I remember you telling me. I approached his wife at a public function and told her we were flat mates and that I wanted to help. That's the advice she gave me. I also play the violin for you. I have a repertoire of songs you respond to favorably when you're distressed. I keep the list in my mind palace.” John looked surprised then moved. He turned all the way around and embraced me tightly.

“Thank you Sherlock, for caring. That means a lot to me.” He kissed me softly and I felt calm again. I rested my head on his for a moment then went to go hug Tess.

“I'm not distressed with you Tess. I was startled though and that could have been bad. It might still be. I have spent the last several years jumping at shadows. My reactions are still uncertain. I do not perceive you as a threat so it is unlikely that I will react to you as one.” I took her hands and kissed her fingers. “I would be very distraught if I'd hurt you though. John was right. I wouldn't mean it. I would never do it on purpose. That being said I have already killed a large number of people exactly that way.”

Tess paled and stepped away from me. My heart bled a little when I saw her reaction. John came up and put his arm around my waist. He stroked his hands over me and comforted me with small soft sounds. Tess looked at me. “How many, that way.” I thought for a minute and sorted out the butchers list in my mind. “Eighteen. I have had to dispatch eighteen people. I needed to sleep sometime. I couldn't always be on the move and mostly I was alright. Still the hunter was hunted and the chase never stopped. They'd attack when I was most vulnerable. I was difficult to find though or it would have been so many more.”

“Sherlock! Oh you poor sweet man! You've had to kill that many people! How that must have torn at you.” Tess was looking at me with understanding! She hadn't pulled away because she was repelled. She had pulled back to understand and she did. And she didn't. I felt John squeeze me tight again. I hugged him to me, comforting myself with his solid foundation of trust and love.

“No Tess. I've killed far more than that. I am as brilliant a killer as I am anything else I excell at. To save my John I have executed fifty four key individuals all over the globe. To save my John I have learned the most dreadful skills and discovered that I am a natural at it. I have lived in the most dire circumstances. I've lost my sanity, possibly more than once. I've hurt too many more to count, there is no way to make the tally. It was all to save John you see. I need him. If John were with me I'd be done so much faster and I could go home to John. I need him.” I stood there, blank and growing cold. I was shutting down again. I was flying through my mind palace but instead of being in control of the tide of information I was drowning in it. I had no controls in this place. These memories were wild and lived a life of their own, defying all my attempts to calm them with logic. John! I needed him. I had to go home.

I was in his arms and John was kissing me. He held me to him and I could taste John, smell John, feel him. John was here and I was alright. Oh John! How I love you. I was so tired again. I felt it in my bones, that gnawing weariness that never really left. My mind was tearing apart again. I hadn't shut the doors properly. Things weren't where they were supposed to be. The mind palace was broken, the upgrades not yet complete. Some information was unassigned as yet and floated freely they way it never had before. I was losing control and I needed John! John! John! John! John! John! John!

I felt John next to me. John's skin was hot against mine. I could feel the cool air brush my back, my legs. John was so warm and the smell of John filled my nose. The feel of John grounded me. The turmoil in my head didn't stop though but soon I felt John's mouth on my skin, John's hands roaming and that delicious feel of John's tongue on my cock and John! John! John!

Endorphins rushed through me as my brain produced a rush of pleasured chemicals in a vast stew that set my mind free. I soared through my palace, ruthlessly snatching up thoughts and ideas, shutting doors and securing everything. As the last bit of free data was locked up I opened my eyes and saw my beautiful brave soldier kneeling between my thighs. Oh yes John!

I rolled my hips and he smiled. He knew I was back. His eyes flicked to the side and I looked at Tess. She was standing there. She was shocked, terrified, aroused, confused, and she understood! I reached out to her and she came to me. “Sweet sweet man. The price you paid for love. Let me be part of your reward you dark angel.”

Dark angel. I could live with that. Tess kissed me then and I was lost in her sweet softness. They brought me back and then took me apart. John and Tess swarmed over me, teasing me into a state of almost painful arousal. This time I urged John to kneel in front of Tess. I wanted him. I needed John. I loved Tess but I needed John. When we finally joined I could feel the heavens shake.

John braced himself over Tess. I went wild. I fucked him hard, ruthlessly. He grunted loudly as I took him. He shuddered in painful bliss as I bit at his shoulder, clawed my fingers down the honey of his back. I held his waist when I was close and snapped my hips as hard as I could. “God fucking yes Sherlock!” he gritted and I came. I shook. I clung. I gasped into the back of his head and spilled myself deep inside of John. I let myself fall to the side as John helped Tess finish. 

When they came I watched John. He was beautiful when he orgasmed. His head fell back and his mouth was open. His face was wonderfully flushed and dripped with sweat. I admired the firm lines of his body, the way he fit against Tess, the way she fit against him. She was gorgeous too. The red in her cheeks stained her down to her neck. Her whole body would grow tense and then she would release like an arrow flying from a bow. I wondered what it was like to orgasm like a woman.

My mind was clear again. All the facts were sorted out and I closed the door to The Work correctly. I'd return later when I had leisure. Now I needed to reset like the machine I used to be. Now I was an ever evolving process of healing. I closed my eyes and slept.

I woke hours later. I climbed out of my lonely bed and found Tess and John reading in the living room. I sat on the floor by John's legs and lay my head on his lap. He pet my hair. I soaked in his presence and feasted my eyes on Tess. “John?”

“Yes darling?” he said softly still stroking my hair.

“I think I'm hungry John.” I wasn't sure. He just stroked my hair some more.

“I know you are darling. You didn't eat this morning. You missed lunch. It's almost tea time. We have food waiting for you. When you're ready Sherlock.” I sat there for a few minutes longer then nodded. John helped me up and led me to the kitchen. We ate quietly at the end of the table. John had a bite and then I had a bite. Tess had her own plate and watched me carefully. She smiled at me and pushed over a plate with pie on it. “Tess baked darling. Look.”

I looked and then I ate. It was a fruit pie, sweet and delicious. “This is marvelous Tess. Thank you.” I was spare with words. I didn't really feel like talking yet. John just accepted what I needed to be like and kept caring for me tenderly as promised. 

I ate a few bites and then pushed my fork away. “I'm full John.” He kissed my cheek and removed the plates before I got ill looking at them. My John understood so much about me. I was still disconnected but he was letting me come back in my own time.

“That's fine Sherlock. We can go outside if you want.” I nodded and he helped me into my coat and slippers. Tess came up beside me and I kissed her cheek. She smiled and stole my lighter almost flawlessly. Oh she was so wonderful.

We sat out in the garden. John read a book and held my hand while Tess and I smoked quietly. She showed me how to blow smoke rings. I was entranced. I focused on the shape of her mouth as she produced perfect little O's smoke. I tried and failed the first few times but eventually I got the knack of it. We lit up a second time. John gave me a look but a fond one. I squeezed his fingers and worked on mastering my new skill. Tess made John laugh when she reached out and began to flick her finger through the edge of each perfect ring, destroying them “What are you doing Tess?” he asked.

“Taking their virginity. Can't let the poor buggers die virgins. S'not right.” I smiled and John laughed heartily. I loved his laugh so much. I adored Tess for making him laugh and directed my smile to her. I looked at John.

“John I want to go home.” He smiled and nodded. We got up and went back inside to pack up. I needed the familar comfort of 221B. It was blatantly obvious I wasn't ready to deal with the world. I needed to help Tess though but we'd done everything we could do here. It would be easier in London where everything was familiar and I could ignore the world easier. John didn't mind. He'd do anything I asked to keep me happy, even ending our honeymoon early. I was so tired and so awake at the same time. “Can I drive first John?”

“Of course Sherlock. Whatever you want. Tess darling, what do you need from home. We could be gone a long time.” John was so good at being in charge. We were out by the car. I kept putting our bags in the boot. 

“We cleaned out the food. I should tell someone I'm going. We locked up and I have my laptop. I suppose I've got everything except clothing. We should go by so I can get some.” She was looking at her mobile, scrolling through people to call. I watched as she sent of three or four text messages.

“Don't worry about clothing Tess. We'll get you outfitted in London. If we're going to keep you, we're going to do it right.” I was firm. I felt delighted at the chance to give her something. Tess looked like she was going to automatically argue but she looked at my face and her mouth snapped shut.

“Whatever Sherlock. Let's get going before we miss what bit of light there's left. We'll be on the road for hours so don't expect me to keep my legs crossed the whole time. Regular stops please.” I loved how Tess spoke. She was so direct. She wasn't as intuitive as John but then she was just getting to know us. I hoped the tender feelings we had for her would last. I enjoyed her company very much. She suited John and I.

She and John chatted during the drive. It was amusing to listen to her observations about the changing scenery. At her request we stopped every hour or so to find a bathroom and occasionally buy a snack. She pandered to my sweet tooth shamelessly, ignoring John's pointed looks as she bought me packaged treats covered in icing or powdered sugar. I gobbled it all down before he could take them away. When I began explaining higher maths to them to describe the culture matrix that caused London to be a primal city John chastised her. “Well done Tess. I hope you're interested because he won't stop until you've essentially mastered this or he has a sugar crash.”

I was used to being out of control so I rigorously watched my driving. I refused to be responsible for an accident regardless of how distracted my mind made me. Still on our last stop John refused to let me drive any further so I sat in the back and continued lecturing them, every little thing we saw changed the nature of my ramblings until I was describing the evolution of modern architechture and how it had been a blight on the entire concept of building anything esthetically.

It was almost dawn when we finally made it to Baker Street. The town was quiet. Tess stood on the street and looked at our home. “Well. What a dump. It's a lot more run down that I would have imagined. Somehow I imagined something a little more grand and less like the American projects.” We bristled. We adored Baker Street. As one we glared at Tess. “What? Don't look at me like that. You Londoner's are always going on about the age of your city. That should have been a compliment. Your home looks like it's about to collapse in on itself and implode into a mass of brick dust. Well done.”

“We can always rent you a room in one of those soulless chain hotels if you like Tess. We wouldn't want to force the antiquity of our cherished home upon you.” I said. I was in a bit of a mood because of her comment. 221B was the center of our universe. Nothing was right until John and I were together here. I was seriously tempted to do as I suggested and just let her stay elsewhere. I hesitated over unloading our bags and struggled with my impulses.

John did it for me. “Tess we can seriously book you elsewhere if you don't like 221B. Only it's rather special to us so I apologise if we seem to be over-reacting but we've spent all our happiest time here and we're rather touchy about it.” John took our bags out and set them inside the outer door.

Tess looked hard at us. She didn't like being taken to task for her comment and her eyes narrowed. “I believe that would be a good idea but not because of what I said. I think you two need to settle down and settle in. Hotel please.” She got back in the car and wouldn't look at us. John just drove us to the nicest closest hotel we knew and booked her the most luxurious suite they had. He arranged for her meals to be charged to the room and also the gift shop which sold clothing.

“I'm sorry for this Tess. I had no intention of parting with you even for a moment.” I said. I felt a bit awkward now.

She brushed aside my concerns and was looking through the room service menu, “That's fine Sherlock. We're only just getting to know one another and both of you basically asked me to move in with you without thinking it through. This will give us a buffer that we seriously need as we acclimate to each other. I'll sleep fine. I unlike you function well on my own. You can call me tomorrow. You have my mobile. I may be out and about though. I like to wander.” 

John dug in his pockets and pulled out a pile of cash. “For cabs and other fares. There's a lot to see. I don't know when we'll be calling you. Our days and nights are mixed up again. Call us though if you're troubled even for a minute. We'll come get you directly.”

“Whatever John. I have my laptop too. I have years of experience entertaining myself. This room is rather posh for my taste but I can survive. I'm taking you up on the clothing offer though. You didn't let me pack more than fresh pants and some stockings.” She was reading the menu and obviously losing interest in talking to us. That was fine. She really was rather remarkable. I would think that most women would be offended to be dropped off in a hotel and given money but Tess just shrugged it off.

“Buy as much as you like dove. If you come across things in shops anywhere just take a card and get them to hold the article. I'll pay later and have it all delivered to your room.” John gave her a kiss. She pecked me on the cheek and pinched my bum as I walked away. She was wonderful.

We took the car back to the rental agency and got a cab back to 221B. It was so good to climb those seventeen steps into our flat. I unlocked the door and John brought in all our cases. “I texted Mrs Hudson and asked her to lay in some food for us. She was very excited to have us back early. I didn't mention Tess yet. I wanted to introduce her in person.” said John. I opened the fridge and saw a liter of fresh milk and a small assortement of fruit and cheese.

“You hungry darling? I can knock up some sandwiches if you like. Tea?” We were home. I nodded and hung our coats away and unpacked our luggage while John made tea. It was technically breakfast time but we ate our sandwiches anyway and then took a brief shower. “Let's go to bed darling, sleep ourselves out. I'll keep the mobile by the bed in case we get any calls.”

I nodded. I was so tired. The tiredness I'd felt earlier was back and I could feel it all the way through me. I wasn't speaking much again but John just helped me get into pajamas. We crawled into our bed together and tangled ourselves up. He petted my hair until I drowsed and then wrapped me in his arms tight. I slept deeply.


	8. Decisions Choices and Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John have something to say to Tess but she has something to say to them as well.

John kissed me awake. I felt his mouth moving over my face, my neck, my chest. He unbuttoned my pajama top and kissed his way down my stomach. I felt his hand reach into my bottoms, beneath my pants and sighed as he took me in his hand. “Want me to fuck you darling?” he asked softly. I nodded and sleepily we shimmied out of our clothes and reached for one another.

It was lazy and slow. John slid his hands over my skin carefully. He touched me everywhere and where his hand rested I could feel my flesh come alive. I sucked gently at the flesh of his neck and tasted him everywhere I could reach. I let my sensitive fingers play over his scars, working my way down his back until I could cup his ass. I let the soft flesh of him roll under my fingers and got hard just thinking about my cock pressing against it. I loved the softness of Tess but she could not be compared to the rare softness on John.

John was filling out fast. His body grew stronger every day. His hard flat muscles were gaining mass again. All his subtle curves were rounder and more appealing than ever. His belly was no longer sunken in like mine. It was flat as a board though. I admired his skin. It was so pale, as pale as mine but he still had a golden undertone that was endlessly fascinating. John was small and perfect and beautiful and so sexy. Difference in size or not John was definitely the one in charge.

He took ownership of me once again. His caresses grew less delicate as I began to respond more strongly. I was completely awake now and wanted John with a growing hunger. I pressed him back so I could kiss him better. I let my tongue lap at the flavor of him, tasting him here and there as I worshipped my way along him. My John. I even wandered down his strong legs, lifting and kissing them all over, sucking behind his knees until he groaned and rolled his hips.

I straddled him then and made to prepare myself but he urged me up and up until my ass was over his face. I almost fainted with pleasure when John gave me the most intimate of kisses, using his tongue and his fingers to tease me open. I tried not to rock my hips to much but I couldn't stop writhing. I ran my fingers up my torso to toy with my nipples. He was driving me insane.

My cock was hard and dripping. I refrained from touching myself, fearing my loss of control that would end our loveplay too soon. Instead I put my hands behind my head and concentrated on breathing. John's tongue was hot and clever. He fucked me with it skillfully until his fingers were moving in and out with ease. “Get the bottle darling.” he said finally.

I collected myself enough to fish our our lube. Working my way back down his body I drizzled some on my fingers. Reached behind I twisted until I could grasp him easily, coating him generously before lining him up with my entrance. When we were prepared I turned back and smiled into his eyes before I sank onto him in one long slow drop. “Oh John!” I whispered as he filled me. It was divine! The union of our bodies was a pale mirror to the union of our selves but it was as close to god as we could get. My entire body was glowing with desire and I began to move lithely, almost dancing over John.

“You are magnificent Sherlock. A fantasy. A dream. Look at you my love, look how you fuck. I love how you move my darling. You turn me on so much. I'm so hard because of you. I want to watch you pleasure youself on me. I want to watch you forever my Sherlock. My beautiful, wanton, glorious man.” I laced my fingers behind my head again and lost myself. All I knew was the firmness of John's cock as it slid in and out of me. I rolled my hips and twisted my body. I was limber and fluid, my hunger for John's possession endless. I leaned back and braced myself on his thighs and let my hips dance freely once again.

“Sherlock! My beautiful Sherlock! Oh my darling angel you miracle come to life. So perfect you are! So good my love. It's so very good.” John's voice was rough and filled with passionate love. I felt that deep pool of pleasure begin to build slowly. It was inevitable. I couldn't draw this out forever no matter how I wished it.

“Touch me John. Your hands John. Your wondrous hands.” John finally began to caress me. He hadn't yet because he'd known it would have been too much for me. Now they wandered up my thighs and over my hips and belly. He sat up slowly, still letting me ride him as I chose but now he darted in to kiss my heaving chest, to flick his tongue over one nipple and then the other. One hand slide between us and John used the pre-cum that had run down to lubricate me. When he gripped me firmly and began to stroke I lost my mind again.

“John! Yes oh yes oh yes oh yes! So please now want so badly please John love you so much nothing but John only for you my brave soldier my John oh love so much you wonder oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh John I'm so so so I'm John so need you oh my John my John my only only you only you only you John John John John John” Once again I could not control the babbling. I came while gloriously mindless. My back arced and I would have fallen had John not wrapped his arms about my waist so he could thrust furiously upwards at last. I heard him grunt then moan raggedly. I felt the heavy pulsing of his cock as he ejaculated deep inside me. I gloried again, feeling the oneness of John and Sherlock.

John slipped backward onto his pillow and I caught myself at the last moment, weakly holding myself up over him with trembling arms. My eyes were closed at first as I adjusted to the frenzy of positive chemicals that swirled through me. The high from sex was always so perfect and there was no negative crash like with other drugs. I was well and truly hooked on sex with John. I opened my eyes and he was grinning happily up at me, “Fucking perfect Sherlock. I love you so much darling.”

His grin was crooked and silly and matched the one on my face. We tried to kiss but we couldn't stop grinning at each other so our teeth clacked together. I managed to move off him. I was relucant to disengage but he was sensitive now so I moved to cuddle beside him instead. “John. I don't know if I can keep up a relationship with Tess but I love her.”

While we were making love my mind had raged and catalogued everything it had encountered since the last reset. I did love Tess. I loved her more than I'd ever loved anyone except John. Still she was new and different and she was Tess which was good but it was also bad. It was unfair. It was unfair to Tess because I loved John so very much, as much as he loved me and I knew there wasn't enough love left over even between the two of us to be properly worthy of Tess. It was a Bit Not Good.

“I love her too Sherlock but I understand. It's not a forever love is it. She's amazing. She deserves a real love, a grand love. We can't give her that because we've got each other.” John was the one who was amazing. He understood. I could only hope Tess could understand and not be broken by it. I doubted I would stop loving her. I just wanted her to be as happy with someone as John and I were with each other. If she stayed with us forever she'd be content but not truly happy. I couldn't bear the thought.

“How do you know what I feel John? You always know so much without asking. It wasn't always like that. There was a time you didn't undertand even when I tried to explain.” I lay my head on his dear chest and listened to his heart. John petted my head again. I enjoyed the sensation very much and of course he responded by giving me what I liked.

“When we make love your mind grows clearer doesn't it? Your thoughts make sense again, your mind palace is more efficient right? I suppose it's the same way for me except it's about reading you. You reveal things you're not even fully aware of, the words you use, the things you fix on. I understand what your body and face tell me more and more everyday. You have an entire unspoken language I don't think you're even aware of. It was muted through most of your life but now it's clear as day to me. When we make love I have my own moments of epiphany and realization. I can see you, what you are, who you want to be and everything that's important to you or about you. I know you want to help Tess and that we won't stop until we have. I know you don't want to give her up, that you want to keep her forever. She's not a pet though and I think that's what she'd end up being.”

“We have things to learn from her though John. She knows things, things we need.” I had no solution. John held me to him and kissed the top of my head. “I cherish her. I love her. We have to let her go.”

“We'll talk to her Sherlock. She's canny. Maybe it will be bad but we can't lie to her and keeping something like this is like lying. We'll find her today and tell her immediately.” I felt sad and adrift again. We had to get up though and get our day going. We discovered it was in the middle of the afternoon. After we showered John made us breakfast. We ate quickly and texed Tess. “Wandering back. Will just catch cab to you. Have credit card ready. TA”

John laughed. I was glad she got some clothes. It was the least we could do considering what we were about to tell her. We cleaned up and waited. A quarter of an hour went by and she knocked on the door. John went down and let her in. I greeted her with a kiss and I showed her to John's chair while he got her a cup of tea. Tess looked around curiously. “Damn me. It's like being home but smellier. Do you boys never clean the chemicals from here? It smells like the pharmacy. Is that a human skull?”

“Sherlock does do a lot of experiments in here. I supposed we just accustomed to it. Yes it is human but the story about it is rather involved. Sherlock hides his cigarettes in there. I'll give you two special dispensation today but Mrs Hudson will have words with us if you go overboard.” I grinned and retrieved my pack of smokes. Tess produced my grenade lighter. I hadn't noticed when she'd lifted it this time.

“Well done Tess. That is actually impressive.” I offered her a fag and we settled back comfortably. John brought us tea and kissed Tess before he sat down.

“I had a lovely morning walking about. John you owe several boutiques a lot of money. Here are the cards.” she handed over a small stack. John just accepted them and began calling them back one at a time to pay with our card. Tess and I sipped our tea and waited. No one batted an eye about the cost. She had definitely not stinted. “Boys we need to talk. I had a nice little think last night. Being in a whole new environment really helped me focus so I'll just get right to it. I want to break up.”

“What!” I exclaimed. What the devil was she talking about. We hadn't said a thing to her yet. “Tess explain yourself.”

John had dropped his phone. She bent over to pick it up and handed it to me. “Sherlock, John I do care for you both a lot. I would even go so far to say I love you. Indeed I esteem your lives up until now as laudable and admirable. Having said that though your world is entirely too big for someone like me. Your lives are grand and sweeping. I like to be in the background, unoticed and unjudged. I walked through a dozen shops today and received the highest service upon mentioning you. That was the kicker for me right there. If I stayed with you I'd always be your kept thing. I'd never have a life of my own. I'd always be an accessory to your love story. I don't want that. I can't imagine who I'd ever meet to compare to you both but there must be someone out there who would think being devoted to just Tess Archer would be a fine way to live. That's what I want.”

“You're actually dumping us.” said John in disbelief. Tess rolled her eyes at him. “You're turfing Sherlock Holmes and John Watson after not even a week?”

“The fact that you even said it that way only reinforces my statement John. Do keep up. I'm not saying that I'm storming out the door right after I finish my tea. We have a bargain as it were. You are taking care of my story and I'm going to teach you how to live yours. Still lots of sex ahead. I checked the rather large phone book. There are plenty of places to acquire the accessories you do need.”

She was amazing. Remarkable. Brilliant. I was filled with the pain of regret though that we could not make it work between the three of us. “If John and I had never met one another then Tess I would hope that you were the one I did get to be with. Time with you is a rare priviledge. We shall not squander it.”

“Well he can be romantic when he lets go of that silver spoon.” she said. I smiled and appreciated that she had been moved by my words. John looked at her wryly. She quirked an eyebrow at him and then they laughed.

“What now?” Where did we go from here. I wasn't sure how to procede. I had ideas about her case but that didn't seem to be the appropriate topic at the moment. Tess mulled for a minute. She looked over to me, incredibly serious.

“Can your number be fifty six?” I was stunned. I knew what she was asking, what I'd already promised. If they were alive she wanted me to kill not just Kevin but Sarah as well. I looked at her. She bit her lip and paled but she sounded determined before she continued. “Kevin decided I was guilty of something I was not and spent years punishing me for it. Sarah helped him do it. Maybe not directly but she knew what he had done, helped him afterward and has ever since then lived a consequence free life while I remain maimed and alone. I know this is not the same thing as what you've done. I know this pushes you squarely into becoming a vigilante but I ask again. Can it be fifty six?”

I stood up and walked away. Sweeping up my violin I paced to the window and stared into the street as I played. The music was harsh, jumping from one style to another as I sorted out my thoughts and feelings. Kevin had tormented and ultimately tried to kill Tess. Even without my feelings for her I would be intrigued and interested in locating this person. Now that I knew and did have feelings for Tess it was beyond thinking that I would leave that task undone. However once I had located Kevin and it was certain I would the real choice would really be what to do to him and now Sarah.

Finally I put my violin down and went to John. I lay on the couch and put my head in his lap. Closing my eyes I let my thoughts race. These people had not been caught. If they ever did get discovered Kevin would likely be the sole participant to pay the consequences. Sarah would go free, shamed perhaps but unpunished. She had not helped Kevin rape and torture Tess but she had helped him escape and then rejoined him after taking possession of his private belongings. That she had done so in the guise of a helpful neighbor was despicable. To cross that final border here on English soil would be tearing away the final veil away from myself, tattered though that veil was. What was I then?

John leaned down and kissed me so tenderly, with so much love. “Shiva's son. Death's Apprentice. Our demon with opal eyes. You are justice my love. We choose Sherlock. We choose.” I closed my eyes again and nodded. John held me and we felt our madness rage through us. John held it in his hand and the madness stilled and grew calm. Fifty six it would be.

I sat up slowly then and looked at the floor before I looked at Tess. Her eyes were filled with regret and tears. “I'm sorry love. I'm sorry to be so weak that I asked this of you. I'm sorry I can't stay with you after. I'm sorry for so much Sherlock.” She needed us and we needed her. Simple. I smiled at her, at ease once again. There would be no need to fuss about this until the moment was upon us.

“Food? Angelo will be pleased to meet Tess.” I got up and offered her my arm. Tess was taken aback but my mind was made up and that door was safely closed. I could be the other parts of me for now. John got up and helped us into our coats without a word. He did kiss me tenderly one more time and stroke my cheek. I caught his hand up and pressed it back there before sliding it to the nape of my neck where he squeezed possessively. My eyes slid shut as I felt his ownership strengthen me. I opened them again to witness awe on Tess's face.

“It really is like seeing god Sherlock, watching you and John together. I was right the first time. It's holy. What you two have is something even the angels don't get.” I smiled my thanks at her and followed her downstairs. The stroll to Angelo's was filled with anecdotes about fights we'd had on the way with muggers or other criminals, insults we'd given the police or how we'd dodged Mycroft's ever present eyes to sneak home. She laughed her wonderful laugh and the sun seemed brighter and warmer.

Angelo was indeed in raptures when we walked through the door. He congratulated us on our extravagant wedding and mentioned the long list of prestigious clients who were now frequenting his establishment. He had gained many admirers for having been such a staunch support of me. I was pleased to hear of his good fortune and well pleased when he looked at Tess, “You are she! The one in the picture. I saw, oh yes I saw. Many people showed me. You are lovelier in person. Come, sit, eat! Welcome to Angelo's.” Tess loved it the place.

“It's kind of ratty in here but it smells delicious. I could be comfortable here.” Angelo appeared with our candle and a basket of breads. He opened a bottle of wine and poured for everyone before taking our orders and bustling away happily. I tried to hold her hand but she smacked the back of mine when I reached for her. “No PDA. As far as anyone else is concerned we are friends and that's it. Hold John's hand. You're technically still on your honeymoon. Let's eat first before our lives become complicated beyond belief.”

That made me pout a bit but she was unrelenting. I gave in and held John even closer than normal. John just laughed softly and took my hand after I put my other arm about his shoulder. John looked Tess over. “You look beautiful.” he said softly. “I like your new things.”

Tess was wearing a charming aubergine skirt and a creamy blouse. Her cardigan was deceptively chunky, obscuring her womanly curves. I could see how she dressed herself deliberately down. She actually had a lovely figure, full and lush, but she hid it away purposefully. I suppose being raped would have that effect. I renewed my resolve to section Kevin neatly and dispose of the pieces. “You are lovely Tess. We should have had sex before we left the flat.”

She laughed softly and shook her head with a grin. “Really Sherlock. Maybe later love. Later. We have some shopping to do first.” I bit my lip. Oh.

John grinned toothily at Tess and she grinned back the exact same way. Suddenly my trousers felt far too snug and I shifted in my seat. “Patience darling. We'll have all the time we need.”

Service never took long at Angelo's. Soon enough we were being delivered over-sized servings of pasta. “Why is my plate so big?” asked Tess as she looked down at her serving of chicken Alfredo. The platter was bigger than normal and piled excessively high with everything. John and I giggled as Angelo stood there looking offended.

“Sir John is on a special regime. I can take yours away and give you something less if you wish.” he said. Tess glared at him.

“Listen bloke, this is mine now. Back away slowly. I've got a fork and I'm not afraid to use it. I was just asking.” Angelo started to laugh, completely taken with her brusque response.

“Miss Tess, I feed Sherlock and John as much as I can. They do good things and so few people care for them. I get only a few chances so I must make the most of them.” she looked thoughtful as we ate. John and I were laughing and trying to out-fork one another. We raced our way through our serving of ravioli and even mopped up all the stray sauce with chunks of bread. John let me win by giving me the very last bite and a kiss. Tess smiled tolerantly at me.

“You really are a young child in many ways Sherlock and too old a man in others. We'll show you how to find balance. Come lads, dinner is done. Time to get equipped.” Oh. Tess made me hail a cab which I did with careless ease. It never failed to make John grimace at me. Tess pulled out her phone to consult a note and told the cabbie where to drop us off. I knew the neighborhood as I knew all of them but I had never frequented the shops there. 

Tess consulted her notes again and chose a store, marching us right on in. “Wander around and fill your eyes. I know what I'm getting. You can pay for the lot once everything is assembled.”

The shop was revelatory. John and I held hands and wandered the displays looking at every sort of leather and strap concoction imaginable. There was a wall display of riding crops, whips and lashes. There were masks and boots, restraints and so many strange things. I took snapshot after snapshot of memories and threw them all together in a brand new room of the mind palace.

John's hand grew warm and moist. He was aroused by much of what he saw. I thought about that. John would be learning how to use these things on me. With Tess we would be practicing all the rites and rituals that were associated with each and every thing in the room. I bit my lip and tried not to get an erection. We lingered at the display of paddles. That idea appealed to both of us, very much.

“John?” Tess called from the counter. There was a large black tote bag on the counter. There were no markings but it was clearly full of something. John paid for everything without a word. I took the bag and almost dropped it. It was incredibly heavy. I got it outside and hailed another cab. John had to help me get it up the stairs to the flat and once we were there we set it on the coffee table.

Tess made herself comfortable on John's chair. “Tea please.” she said. John went to get tea and I sat on the sofa to stare at the bag. Tess began to speak. “There is a whole big world filled with toys and sex games, a never ending and always evolving play land of pleasure and pain. I'm going to teach you simple things, things you should know as a beginner so that as you advance together to higher and higher levels you reduce the chance of hurting one another.”

John arrived with the tea. We all sipped slowly and eyed the bag. Tess looked at us when she set her cup down. “John, am I right in assuming you will be the dominant partner? No offense to your brilliance Sherlock but you are highly unstable whereas John is a master of self discipline mixed with a genuine drive to help.”

“You would be correct Tess. Sherlock has asked as much of me already, before we met you in fact.” he looked calmly at Tess, assessing her expression, taking in every piece of information he could. I was so proud of his ability to deduce and understand. He had taken what I had taught him and transformed it to suit his particular skills. He was brilliant.

“Sherlock, do you understand that by entirely submitting yourself to John that you will be releasing yourself of conscious control over your own actions thereby binding John to you so that if you suffer, he suffers?” I had not thought of it that way. I looked at John. I knew I trusted him. I trusted John in all things and in all ways. The one who could not be trusted was me. If I went too far or if I reacted unfavorably what damage would John suffer because of me? Would I hurt him physically or hurt that magnificent heart that beat for both of us? Suddenly I was unsure. “You must also understand that John will not allow you to hurt yourself thereby hurting him. He will limit you and constantly test those limits. That will be his job. He will control you in all degrees. John will be your conscience, your guiding light. You will be as good or bad as he makes you. It will be all on him. Can you accept that?”

I looked at her intently. “That is exactly what I want. John has always been a conductor of light. He guides me. He always has. He's always been my conscience. He knows when things are a Bit Not Good and tells me. We already know I'm out of control but John satisfies every craving I've ever had. I can't control myself. I've never been able to. I need this and John needs it too.”

“I agree darling. I love you my heart and soul but you are a man of extremes and your extremes are far larger than most people. I would like to help you in any way I can. I want to do this. I want to take the burden away. I want to set him free Tess. I always have.” John looked at me with love and I gazed back at him with devotion. I was feeling better every second. We were already so close, this would just be another way to continue becoming one.

“Very well, I thought as much but it's incredibly important to lay the guidelines down clearly. We'll be talking more in the beginning though we can have sex at any time, when we are playing within the rules all parties must understand what the agreement is. That's what we're going to work on before we open the bag.” Tess was very clear but I couldn't help but feel disappointed. I was itching with curiosity. John looked at the bag and nodded.

“The agreement between consenting parties is normally a formality. The rules usually revolve strictly around sexual practices but you two are married and beyond being married you are emotionally bonded. Your circumstances are not ideal. You are both traumatize by your past and that's not really a good place to begin this kind of relationship. Again, that being said both of you are uniquely open with each other, you trust one another far beyond most lover's ability to trust. Everyone holds something back, everyone hides things. Neither of you do, not with each other. You have bypassed the aim of most of these practices which is to create trust between the dominant and his submissive. What is new to you is really the technical applications of the equipment as well as some practical knowledge on how to achieve the goals you set.”

It seemed perfectly reasonable. John of course had to always state the obvious. “So you're saying we're a pair of nutters but that's alright because I at least know how to say no and if I get things wrong I know Sherlock knows how to get out of handcuffs.”

“Essentially yes. Well stated John. You answered everything yet still missed the point entirely.” Tess made me laugh so much. She was so very blunt! John flushed but she just went ahead and lectured us on safe words and conditions as well as role playing and limits. It was very detailed. John and I listened intently. Tess really knew her material.

We ordered in. Some hours had passed and all we had done was talk. We ate our Chinese food right out of the boxes, our chopsticks clattering back and forth as we shared everything together. We drank tea and then I opened a bottle of wine. When we settled back down Tess gave us a long look. “We'll go over what I've picked up but this will be enough for today. We'll play another time so I am asking you to not touch the bag until I give the go ahead. Sherlock. I mean you. There will be time enough for everything I've selected but I'm tired and I think I'd like to go back to the hotel sooner rather than later.”

I unzipped the bag. John and I extracted everything and laid it all out on the table. Some went on the floor. “Restraints. You'll need carabiner for your bed. We'll go to a hardware store tomorrow and select some. Installing them is simple. Chains, ropes, scarves and straps. I'll show you all the best ways to utilize all of them. Blinders, ear muffs, ball gags. Sensory deprivation is an excellent training tool. These should help Sherlock gain some mastery back over himself. It takes time. Don't expect to use everything one time and be gloriously alright. Cuffs. I've omitted the steel models and stuck strictly with leather. Sherlock is very responsive and sensitive. I don't want his wrists and ankles scarring. The collar for the throat is supple and can be tightened or loosened as necessary. This particular one comes with carabiner already installed whereas this one is for wear without restraint. Lastly and the one Sherlock has been gagging for is the spreader bar. This one will allow for hands or legs or all as John wishes. It extends as well, hence the name. Once you are bound Sherlock you will only be able to accept what John does to you. You will be completely at his mercy.”

“What about the riding crop and the paddles?” I asked. There was nothing of the sort in what she had purchased. She looked at me sternly as she packed everything away and zipped the bag shut.

“Sherlock you are jumping far ahead of yourself. While you have the desire you do not yet possess the skills to embrace games like that. Never fear Oh Spoiled One, it won't take long. After I am satisfied that you are ready we will have a much better understanding about which toys are appropriate. We haven't discussed things like hooding, anal toys, clamps, or any of the other rather creative devices available for your pain or pleasure. Excuse the pun but you can't go off half cocked here. There is much to learn. We can't do it all in one night!”

I rolled my eyes but laughed with her. I knew I was being willful and impatient. John patted my knee and I cuddled up with him, blindingly happy once again. This was all going to be marvelous. I looked Tess over and she smiled at me. “You can keep your pants on Sherlock. You're not getting into mine. Not tonight. I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. One of you arrange a cab, alright?”

Well that was disappointing. “Are you sure.” I asked her softly as we walked her to the door. “We haven't had time together since you came to London. Have we made you unhappy Tess?” She was rejecting us already. It made me feel a bit sad.

“Your puppy eyes are darling my sweet but I am sure. Everything has changed hasn't it. Don't worry love, I'll be in your bed eventually. I don't have much of an appetite and it's been dulled by years of salacious writing. Enjoy each other. That's enough for me. Call me after breakfast tomorrow. We have a lot to do. One kiss each, come on.”

We each kissed a cheek and she gave us a hug. When the cab arrived a minute later she got in and they drove away without a glance. John locked us in and we went upstairs. Mrs Hudson had been away having tea and going out with all the various people she'd met at our wedding. I wondered if she'd even get a chance to meet Tess before she left us entirely. I felt weary again. It stifled the burgeoning desire I had felt during Tess' lecture.

Once we got indoors though John had very different ideas. He kissed me as soon as the deadbolt was thrown, shoving his knee between my thighs. I immediately dropped down and allowed his kiss to deepen. Anything for John. “I want you to take me back to our room Sherlock and I want that lovely mouth on my cock.”

I kissed him again before standing tall. “Yes John.” I took him by the hand and undressed him. He lay back on a pile of pillows and I stripped myself off deliberately. I wasn't putting on a show, I just wasn't rushing. John enjoyed it very much. I stroked myself slowly before crawling on the bed and kneeling in front of him. With no pause I took him in my mouth and swallowed him down.

“Fucking hell Sherlock! Fuck!” John thrust hard but we both knew I could take it. I even enjoyed having him fuck my mouth. I braced myself up on my arms and relaxed my throat. John took my hints and began to roll his hips, allowing his cock to slide over my tongue as he wished. I moaned as he hit the back of my throat and that made him jerk and shiver. I grew calm, focused. I closed my eyes and let him move, loving every thrust, every drop of pre-cum I could lick from him.

Suddenly he pulled my head up. John hauled me up to kiss him. He flicked open the lube bottle he'd grabbed and slicked himself. He looked me in the eye, “All of it.” I nodded and straddled his hips again. I lined him up and began to press down. The pain was acute. The burn was deep and I shook and gasped a little. Still I didn't stop until John was fully seated inside me. I panted and dropped my head to his shoulder and shook. “Good. You did so good love. I'm going to fuck you slow darling and then I'm going to fuck you hard.

My magnificent doctor. My glorious John. He played me as well or better than I had ever played my violin. His hands seemed to be everywhere. His mouth seemed to be everywhere. He started slow as promised but time hurried by and all I could do was let him take me apart. I came screaming after a long while, felt that heady damp spurt deep inside me, dimly collected the sound of John orgasming inside me and locking it away in my mind palace. I fell forward, unable to move myself. I'd given John everything.

He petted me as I recovered then left the bed to get a warm damp flannel. Humming softly to himself John wiped me down as I lay limp and unflinching. “You're a delicious treat afterward. Just look at what I've done to Sherlock Holmes.” he sounded proud. I tried to smile for him but I was too busy falling asleep. My last memory was John taking me in his arms and holding me tight in the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bondage games are fascinating but unfortuately it would take me ages to explain all the little things that are involved. I've kept it deliberately simple and vague.


	9. Road Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to make a small trip just to get the facts.

The next morning I awoke before John and my mind was in overdrive. I kissed him softly and climbed out of bed and into my robe before padding silently to the living room. I pulled out the files on Kevin and flicked back and forth until I'd found the documents I needed. I started up our laptop and examined my database. “John! John wake up and call Tess!” I shouted over my shoulder. I kept reading.

Some time later John came into the room. He'd made tea somehow so he must have been up for a bit without me noticing. “I called Tess. She'll be here directly. I'll wait, shall I?” I nodded, not looking up. I wanted to be sure. Very sure. I laid out all the relevant documents in order and reexamined them closely. My magnifier appeared and I poured over every inch of the more ancient papers with intense care. I made notes in my database. More tea appeared and I drank it. When it was empty I sat back and looked at the cup in my hand. “Thank you John. Your tea is always perfect.”

John was in the kitchen and peeked his head back to grin at me quickly. He was cooking and I realized suddenly that I was actually incredibly hungry. I left everything on the coffee table and glided over to my husband. I pressed myself to his back and rested my head on his as he whisked eggs together. “Good morning Sherlock.”

“Good morning John. I love you.” I wrapped my arms around him to give him a squeeze. The toaster popped up so I helped by buttering it and putting in more bread. I assumed we were feeding Tess and she did eat rather a lot. I put extra butter on. I went back to holding John. I needed him so much.

John stirred his concoction for a minute then put his hand on the arm wrapped around his chest. “I love it when you do this you know? I love the feel of you comforting yourself with me. It makes me happy.” Oh John! I kissed his sweet head and hummed with contentment. I shut my eyes and just let the scent of John and breakfast take me away.

We heard a knock on the downstairs door and Mrs Hudson answering it. Oh! Mrs Hudson. Footsteps on the stairs and then a knock at our front door. I belted my dressing gown shut and regretting forgetting my pants. Mrs Hudson would not approve but nonetheless I opened the door. “Sherlock, you have a visitor. She says her name is Tess Archer.”

“Thank you Mrs Hudson. Come on in. Mrs Hudson, this is our new friend Tess Archer, we're helping her on a small matter and she's helping us with some very important research. Tess, this is Mrs Hudson.” they eyed each other up. Mrs Hudson smiled warmly.

“It's lovely to meet you dear. I'm just off for the day. Sherlock! No shooting the walls. I know you're still on your honeymoon but I can't get anyone to come by to fix the holes that are still there. I've gotten you a special bin in the alley too dear, that's for the leftover bits. Molly organized it for me. Don't use the regular bins, you've given the pick up service a start on more than one occasion. There's extra milk in my fridge if you need it John.” Indeed though it was early I could see that Mrs Hudson was dressed to go out. I kissed her cheek and she patted my hand before departing.

“She your housekeeper?” asked Tess curiously. “You bin your food leftovers? Why are they special?”

“Mrs Hudson is absolutely not our housekeeper!” I said, almost offended. “She owns the building and allows us to live here. The special bin is for body parts but I don't have any. She's just being prepared.”

“That answer just raised more questions but I'm starving. Give me a kiss and let's see what John has made.” I kissed Tess on the mouth instead of the cheek she offered. Her eyes twinkled and she didn't protest so I felt a moment of hope that today might include some private time with her. She did look particularly lush this morning.

John was just serving up. The toast popped up so I buttered the second rounds while John gave Tess a kiss hello and seated her at the table. “Food first, discussion later! If we let him run off he'll never eat a bite.” John admonished Tess when she opened her mouth. She had been looking at the papers spread everywhere and my laptop which was still open and running.

“Right. Well it smells delicious John.” John set a plate with toast in front of Tess and she examined the offering curiously. “What is it?”

“Scramble. It's good. There's lots of bits in it.” said John calmly as he seated himself beside me. I smiled to myself. I loved these. John chopped in all the vegetables I liked, covered everything in whipped eggs and melted cheese on top right before he served it so it was savory and gooey. 

“I can see the bits. Very well then.” We ate and made small talk about Tess' clothes and my lack thereof. I promised to dress after we ate so as soon as John accepted his last second bite I left them at the table. I chose a suit quickly and my favorite purple shirt. John had gotten me some rather vibrant socks too so I paired them with sleek black leather shoes and went to rejoin them. Tess looked at me in surprise, John with approval.

“Darling you look perfect.” John's eyes were warm and soft. He knew I loved my suits. Tess hadn't seen me in one in person yet. She was quite surprised.

“Rather formal for first thing in the morning isn't it?” It was half eight. Not so terribly early. She looked me up and down. I'd always worn the finest suits available. This wasn't even one of my more formal ones. This was an everyday suit in charcoal. I changed my wardrobe every year, keeping only those items that were my favorites. I knew how I looked and I enjoyed the expression on John's face. Tess looked at him, “Are we going to a meeting or something? John?”

“Sherlock nearly always wears a suit Tess. We were on our honeymoon when we met you. I had asked him to be informal for me but otherwise this is pretty much how he dresses all the time. It's amazing how fast Sherlock can run in those shoes though. Some of our chases went through some pretty nasty areas but Sherlock manages to stay clean and tidy. I always look like someone dragged me behind a car.” John was amusing.

“That only happened once John. The time you jumped into the Thames was for a very good reason. You're quite nimble. It's not your fault things explode around you so often and you're very good at avoiding the actual bullets. How were you to know that one house was scheduled for demolition. These things happen and I still thought you looked charming.” I didn't want John to think his clothes were inadequate. His jumpers and slacks had interested me greatly. I spent a lot of time wondering what was beneath them. Now I knew and had to force myself not to have a little think about that. Business first.

Tess goggled at us. “You really, really did those things. I mean yes, everyone knows you did them because of your blog but somehow, I don't know, I suppose I thought that you'd exaggerated somewhat. Story-tellers do.” She was shaking her head and looking at both of us thoughtfully.

“The blog doesn't actually tell half the story. We've done a lot more than what's posted there. I'm very slow as a writer. I can manage one or two of our more surprising cases at a time but the rest of them fall by the wayside.” I loved John's honesty. I smiled fondly at him.

“John tends to blog about our cases that are eights and above but we frequently got called in on cases that ranked four or higher. By the time James Moriarty appeared we were only accepting cases that ranked seven or better. We didn't have time to do everything for the Yard.” I tried to be honest too. Tess just looked confused. Frustrated I looked at John to translate for me. I didn't know what she didn't understand.

“Sherlock has a ranking system. A One is missing pets or public defacement. Not very interesting. The ranks go all the way up to Ten, serial killers, psychopaths and locked room scenarios.” The ranks were fluid though. There were all sorts of things that could tip a case from being a Two that shot it right up into the Eights, sometimes the small cases were clues to the big cases.

“You got paid by the Yard to solve their cases?” she queried. John shook his head.

“Sometimes we got paid a small amount as consultants but most of our money was made for the freelance work Sherlock accepted. I also worked as a doctor to make ends meet. It was very time consuming but when the game is on...” he trailed off and looked at me.

“When the game is on Tess, money is not a motivator. Time is not a barrier. Transport no longer becomes a concern. The Work is everything.” I spoke softly, watching her every reaction. Tess looked surprised, then concerned, then for a flicker she was disappointed, then she was nodding her acceptance.

“I see. I made the right choice in ending our brief affair. I never could come close to being enough for either of you. You have each other and The Work. No one else is necessary. It's a bit hard to swallow but on the other hand it makes me grateful that I got to understand it at all. I'm betting almost no one else does. I can see that no one else will ever have the chance you gave me. Thank you for the rare privilege.” oh she was amazing! Brilliant! Marvelous! My newly feeling heart gave a pang of regret. If only there was some way but I knew there wasn't. She was so wonderful. Keeping her with us would only create misery for Tess. I vowed again to give her peace instead.

“Tess I believe I know how to track Kevin.” her mouth dropped open. John had clearly known I'd made a breakthrough of some kind. He'd just supported my transport all evening and not questioned me before we'd eaten. He knew how I worked. I loved him so much and hugged him to show that I appreciated him. He kissed my cheek and then we went to sit on the sofa. Tess sat in John's chair and just looked at me. “I've gone over several of the documents my brother has given us and discounted all the information we already had available. The documents that were left are detailed genealogies of your ex-husband and they include mention of several family properties, all of which are in England. Two of these properties had lain dormant for several years but four years ago one of them was sold and turned into a vacation rental destination and the other was let to a pair of horticulturists. They grow flowers. For honey bees.”

Tess was clearly stunned. She sat back in John's chair and just stared at me. I'd found Kevin. Granted we had no verification it was him but it all fit together neatly. Tess had written a book on bees. Kevin had worked in the local area as many did working the flower growers properties to keep the bees producing the honey that the village was famous for. Sarah had done similar work. That's probably how they'd managed to get to know one another beyond events relating to their children. The name on the lease was different but getting false ID wasn't impossible and a change of name would most certainly be in order.

“We need to go see Sherlock. Tell me where and I'll book us tickets. Or do you want a car? We can rent one easily enough.” I nodded to John. A rental would be discrete and we could switch it off if necessary by simply renting a different one anywhere. Tess was still speechless. I realized I had shocked her entirely. John was on his phone organizing a car so I did my best to make some tea and gave her a cup. Tea solved everything. 

She sipped it and made a face. “This is fucking awful.” She set the cup down again. I didn't blame her.

“I know Tess but John was busy.” I could make tea. Just not wonderful John grade tea. His tea ruined everyone for tea anywhere else. It was a gift and I had missed it so much while I was gone. You would have thought that I could have found a decent cup in China but I'd never had any luck.

“So what now?” she looked trepiditious. I thought for a moment.

“We are going to do recon. We are going to travel to where we suspect you ex husband is living and without him knowing we are there we are going to examine his entire new life. When we have done so we are coming back to London to prepare. At that point it would probably be best if you were noticeably somewhere else.” I looked at her and stopped talking. She was pale now but determined.

“No. I said I'd be with you when you did this and I meant it. I'm going to watch what you do and I'm going to live with those memories the way you have to. Maybe I'll have nightmares for the rest of my life. Maybe it will change me as a person forever. The price isn't a consideration. You are doing this for me so I will do it with you or we won't be doing it at all.” Suddenly I was kneeling at her feet and kissing her before she stopped speaking.

“Tess, Tess, Tess. You wonder! You miracle! You marvelous, magnificent, beautiful woman!” I kissed her over and over. She was so brave. She was so strong. She was everything a person should be. “Please Tess, please.”

I kissed her face everywhere. I wanted her so much. She hadn't let us touch her at all and soon things were going to be so different. I heard her sigh and then she relaxed into me. She was saying yes. I caught her mouth with mine and kissed her deeply. I loved the taste of her, the softness of her, the richness of her. Oh Tess!

John helped me up and with small laughs we urged Tess to our bedroom. Hastily we unbuttoned the layers that covered her, John making sure to hang them on the door so they wouldn't get too rumpled. I got out of my suit and just dropped it to the floor in my haste to get to Tess. I pressed her back onto the bed and reveled in the feel of her beneath me. “I want to taste you.” I murmured and then proceeded to do exactly that. 

I was hungry for Tess. I kissed my way down her voluptuousness and allowed my long fingers to explore everywhere. John was kissing and touching us both and I trembled whenever his hands caressed me. I recalled all the little things she'd seemed to enjoy the most and employed one move after another until she was writhing beneath us both, her small soft cries becoming more desperate. I knew what I wanted first though so I smoothly knelt between her knees and bent my head down to savor her sweetest flavor.

I slipped in two fingers easily and made the tiniest of circles inside her until Tess groaned and shivered all over. She became sleeker and I consumed everything I could reach. She was soft, so soft, so tender, so sweet. Oh Tess! What a delight to my senses she was. I let her recover for a minute, tasting her ever so gently. With much urging I got her on her knees after a time. John helped me with my condom and I allowed myself to penetrate that damp haven slowly. Tess moaned so softly and I felt her clench tight. “Hold still sweet girl, wait.” I begged.

John was behind me. It took a bit more arranging while I forced myself not to just fuck Tess into the mattress but John was in charge and so when he took me I handed him control of everything and let John use me to fuck Tess until she was screaming.

John rocked his hips so I ground into her. He let my body fall forward and I ran my tongue over her gorgeous scars while my hands filled themselves with her plush arse. It was magnificent. I groaned when I felt my cock graze past it. Soft! So very soft! John was so good at what he did. Tess and I were undone, simply undone. He helped me bring her to orgasm time and again until I was nearly weeping with the need to just come! A man could only hold back so long.

I was on my hands and knees over Tess. My body was rigid and tense. Sweat dripped from me and I couldn't keep my eyes open even a bit. I had my lower lip caught between my teeth and I was whining as I panted. John's hips snapped forward repeatedly and I was burning up. Suddenly Tess's fingers were at my throat. My eyes flew open and I stared at her. John's hips snapped forward again and she squeezed gently.

Perhaps I shouted when I came. I couldn't say. The world washed away in a blistering explosion of multi-colored light and disjointed sounds. I felt myself shudder and buck, felt loving hands holding me down, keeping me close. John's hand was on my forehead, my head pressed against his shoulder as he kept me from convulsing dangerously. I was coming down. How long had that gone on? It seemed like just an instant but when I did manage to open my eyes I looked up at Tess instead of down at her. John was still at my back but apparently he had rolled me away from her. She was grinning savagely. “You are a fine piece Sherlock, a fine piece. We're going to have so much fun after.” Oh Tess!

John extricated himself and I moved to allow him to shift enough away from me so that when I lay back I was in his arms and he was spooning me. My mind was whirling at faster than light speed. I worked everything out. Maps and locations, times and supplies, disposal and all accountable risks. All of it. Before I had finished cooling down I had the entire plan worked out. All we needed to do was go.

We lay in bed for a long time, petting one another and just enjoying the feeling of being together. Finally though Tess kissed my hair softly and we all got up. Showering took a bit of coordinating and dressing required some arguing. Tess thought that I was going to be too obvious running about in a bespoke suit but John thought for our purposes on this trip that my clothing was irrelevant. I agreed with Tess but I put a suit on anyway because John liked me in them. That I liked them too didn't matter to me. John made me happy when he pulled on my favorite jumper, the oatmeal cable-knit. The disastrous loss of the original matched with the loss of it's replacement made the finding of the third that much better. I got a wink when he saw me looking at his stomach.

“One last cuppa before we get going though boys. I need to rehydrate and possibly eat a bit.” Well we had exerted ourselves rather strenuously. It was close to lunchtime so while John and Tess made a light meal I packed an overnight bag for John and I. When I brought it out Tess nodded. “We'll stop by my room and do the same. We can't expect to go there and back in a single afternoon.” The drive would take us some hours beyond London. Once we reached the region in question we could get a room and spend as long as we liked driving about to observe and collect information.

We ate sandwiches and a small salad along with many cups of tea. Cleaning up after ourselves we left a note for Mrs Hudson telling her we'd be gone until late the next day so she wouldn't worry about us. I hailed a cab and we stopped at Tess's room to pack her up quickly. The cab had waited for us so we left immediately to obtain our rental. I knew exactly where we were going so John sat in the back with Tess to watch the view. He leaned forward often to stroke my shoulder or run his fingers over my hair and I was much comforted.

The countryside was becoming more and more rural. Neither Tess nor John asked where we were going though the road signs must have made it apparent. We knew what we were there to do. That's what was important. We entered a small township that boasted several different chain hotels. We took a room in one though John and I normally preferred to rent from smaller less corporate establishments. Here however we were simply faces in the crowd and not remembered for more than a few minutes. John and Tess paid, giving the impression of a long married couple and I helped John carry our bags to our room. There were two large beds inside.

“This will be fine. Let's leave our bags here and get some real food before we skulk around.” Tess took a few minutes to refresh herself. 

John came up to me and stroked my back. “Are you holding up alright darling? Nothing is too much yet is it?” I put my head on his and thought about how I was feeling. I was wound up tight. I was slipping into the hunter mode I had operated in for the last three years, something beyond just being a detective. It was primal and swift. I closed my eyes and tried to steady myself but John did it for me. “Sit darling.”

There was a television hidden in a cabinet and two stuffed chairs and two small sofa's filled the area around it. I sat on one of the small sofas. John kissed me tenderly and looked at me steadily before buckling a plain leather collar around my throat. My pulse slowed. My thoughts grew tranquil. I found it effortless to breath and I was relaxed. “Thank you John.” I said. He understood everything I meant.

We'd hadn't tried it yet but John knew it would help me stay grounded. He had placed it on me, reinforcing his ownership of me and removing the gnawing agitation that came with second guessing myself. John would let me do what needed to be done and no more. John would make sure I didn't cross any unnecessary lines. John would reign me in and keep me on the right path. I could trust John.

“Anything you need my love. Anything at all my Sherlock. You are mine and I am yours and it's really that simple.” yes, yes it was. He leaned in and we kissed again. Tess came from the washroom and noted the addition to my person.

“Lovely. Come on Watson. Feed me before I perish.” I stood up and took John's hand. He kissed it and I smiled happily at him. There was a restaurant attached to the hotel and from it's rather picture heavy menu we managed to find acceptable meals for all of us. It was hot and fast if low on originality so we left a small tip rather than a large one after we ate. We were here for business not pleasure.

I shut my eyes before we began driving. I had memorize the general layout of the surrounding region and oriented myself based on the signs I could see. When I was satisfied I knew where I was going I just drove us there directly. There was no need for subterfuge. The property in question was on a tour route for people who liked the idea of purchasing their foods directly from the producer. The foyer at our hotel boasted several pamphlets with maps on how to drive around exactly as we were doing.

We drove for a few minutes and then I parked in a small rest area. It was well treed and a small stream ran through it. There were even picnic tables and a large sign with a map of local walking trails. It was well used. “No one will wonder why our car is empty. They'll assume we are enjoying the parkland. It runs directly along the property line where we need to look.

Tess looked a bit green. I sat her at one of the picnic tables and let her collect herself. “What if it's him? What if we see them both?” Since I knew very well that she knew that all we were going to do was look I had nothing to contribute to her question. John answered.

“Sherlock will lead us right to them then Tess. They'll never know we were there. We're going to look about and see everything we can tonight. We'll slip away after and go back to our room. That's all.” Captain Watson-Holmes. It did have a nice ring to it. Tess was British through and through so I could see her spine visibly stiffen. She nodded curtly and off we went.

I had some skill with slipping through the woods and John made almost no sound. Tess however crunched and crashed for several steps before she stopped moving. I heard her muttering to herself. We waited and then she began to move again, with greater stealth. “Wasn't watching where my feet were going. This isn't the sidewalk is it. Sorry lads.” 

We three made it to the edge of the parkland in a wandering fashion. If anyone had seen us we would look like a small group of friends picking our way along and enjoying the summer evening. When we approached the property line I pulled a small pair of binoculars from my pocket. A little stone cottage was off to one side about a hundred meters from where we were standing in the woods. Three small outbuildings were also scattered about and between us were spans of flowers, mostly clover but small collections of color broke up in mounds here and there.

I watched for a long time. From our hiding spot I could see the property quite clearly and made notes to myself regarding advantages and disadvantages. John tapped me on the arm and pointed to a movement in a far field. Two people were walking hand in hand. I focused my glasses on their faces before handing them to Tess. She took a deep breath then lifted them to her eyes. Her mouth pressed into a tight line. “Fucking bastards.” she hissed. So. Confirmation.

“Sit tight. We're going to back away slowly and we're going to go back to the car. We've gotten what we came for. It's them. Time to go.” John stroked my back and I oozed back into the forest pulling a resistant Tess with me. Once we'd gone far enough she began to curse softly. She didn't stop until we'd gotten back into the car.

“Up front John. I need a bit.” she snapped. John let me drive back to the hotel. He kept his hand on my thigh and we listened to Tess mutter the entire way. She was coldly furious and rightly so. Once we got back I parked close to a side door and we used our room card to gain entrance. We made it back with no one the wiser and let Tess pace back and forth in a rage. “They looked happy! She's slimmer than ever and he's grown a BEARD! They... they are living life and ENJOYING THEMSELVES.”

Tess stopped pacing and closed her eyes, struggling to retain her hold on her righteous anger. John undid my collar and I got up and went to her. I took her hands and brought them up to my cheeks. I kissed her wrists and looked her straight into her eyes. “You need to let go. Fuck me Tess. Hard as you want.” She almost snarled as she yanked my coat off. John came over and helped me out of my clothes while Tess peeled out of hers. By the time we were naked I was fully erect. She pushed me back onto one of the beds and just climbed on.

She was moving hard and fast even before John could finish undressing. Tess kept me pinned to the bed, her hips gyrating roughly as she used me. I was in raptures. She was so bold, so angry. She took possession of my flesh only to dampen the outrage she was experiencing and I loved it. I loved her anger. I was washed pure in its fire. The white hot rage that consumed her flowed over me and made me burn with her. The first time she came it was glorious. She tossed her head back and her body trembled all over with the force of it. She gave herself no time and went right back to grinding down on me. I couldn't stop myself. I arced back and surrendered to the glory of my release.

When I gathered my senses together again Tess was riding John and I could see her amazing ass shaking with the force of her motions. John was groaning beneath her and clawing at her back. Suddenly she flushed right down to her feet and shouted hoarsely as John made her orgasm yet again. She almost faltered then but John wouldn't let her go. He planted his feet on the bed and held her up, thrusting just right and soon she was moaning harshly.

I wasn't strong like John. I couldn't wait for him to finish. Instead I found the lube and dribbled a generous amount on my fingers. I parted Tess's cheeks and slipped my hand over her, pushing in as quickly as I could deem acceptable. I worked her open ruthlessly and she responded by riding my fingers without pause as hard as she was riding John. Oh she was magnificent. Where she should be timid she was brash and breathtaking. A very short while later I coated my cock heavily and held her hips tight while I pushed inside. I could feel John still in her and I shook, almost losing control.

We were all swearing now. John could feel me, I could feel him and Tess was beginning to roll her hips. I ran my hands forward and up her rounded belly. I cupped her generous breasts and held them so John could bend his head to suck at her nipples. I eventually wrapped my long arms around her and held her tight as I rode her steadily.

Oh she was soft! So soft! After a few minutes it was too much for me. Having her was too different, too new. I had so little control to begin with and Tess did nothing to stop me. She rolled her hips knowledgeably and I began to gasp. I clutched at her, buried my face against her sweet smelling hair. Distantly I could hear her crying out, heard John moaning deeply but I was fighting a losing battle and I was gone! My hips bucked forward inelegantly and I emptied myself deep within Tess. Her cry was triumphant. I felt John's cock pulsing and wanted to come again from the sheer unexpected pleasure of it. Tess and I let ourselves slip back onto the bed to pant and try to gain control of ourselves.

I reached over her and tugged off John's condom, tossing it carelessly into the bin close to the bed. I felt sticky and sweaty now so I laced my fingers with John's and urged him into the shower with me. He grabbed Tess's hand and with a lot of laughter we all washed up. Tess was a little raw now. She breathed through her nose as John washed her privates carefully. “It's alright John. I'll be okay by morning I'm sure. I needed that. Thanks Sherlock. It was all rather good. I feel a bit dazed.”

I did too. We got out and climbed into our pajamas. Tess had never worn any with us before but I loved her little pale blue sleeveless number with matching short pants. She looked girlish and sweet. “John can we order something to nibble on? I think I'm hungry again.” He was sitting on the sofa next to Tess and I was curled up between his knees with my head on his lap. I felt warm and safe. Tess got up and pulled out the room service menu and we looked it over.

“Pie for certain. I need sweets. Those chip things look interesting but I'm not sure. Sherlock?” I was looking over the appetizers. There were several and all of them seemed deep fried. Perfect. I pointed out all the ones I thought looked interesting and John chose from those. He made sure to ask for a large pot of hot water and lots of tea. We cuddled together in a heap and flipped through the TV channels before settling on a nature documentary. 

Tess made a game of it. “Shut the volume off and make up the monologue on your own. We can take turns.” It was silly fun. Soon we were all laughing as we took turns seriously giving blatantly inaccurate information about whatever we saw. John was particularly good at it, his voice always sounding just a little awed and full of wonder, like he'd just learned the secrets of the universe. Tess and I could barely restrain our laughter during John's turns. It was almost a shame when a tap at our door announced our meal's arrival.

It was a race to eat. All of us fought over servings and laughed hysterically as we tried to grab our portions, feed one another and not choke ourselves. It was fun. We were having fun. Eventually though there was no more food to be fought over and since Tess had helped I knew for certain that John had gotten the lion's share of our expansive meal. He was stuffed tight as a drum.

Tess cleared the mess away, shoving the tray out into the hallway for a staffer to carry away. There were bottles of water left over but John couldn't manage a sip. I sat in front of him, once again leaning on his legs and letting my head rest in his lap while he recovered from our feeding frenzy. Tess flipped channels and found a documentary on the assembly of mass production equipment that caught our exhausted attentions. We watched the entire program with quiet fascination. We were very tired.

I looked up at John when it was over and saw he was nearly asleep. I knew he could stay perfectly still all night long but then his bad shoulder would play up and his hip would join in. It was much easier to disturb him just long enough to tuck him into the very rumpled bed. “I'm sleeping over here duck. Cuddle up with your doctor. I'll see you both in the morning.” I nodded, a little disappointed. Tess didn't say another word. She just climbed into bed, turned her back and seemed to fall instantly asleep. I did as she suggested.


	10. Plans and Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John have made their choices. Now it's just a matter of ironing out the details.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a sharp divergence from the normal characters of Sherlock and John. There is a lot of moral ambiguity here and for the sake of the story I've chosen to take the dark but righteous path.

I woke late in the morning. John was still out cold and breathing deeply. Tess was up and sipping on coffee. “I called room service and had a carafe delivered. There's a bit left if you want Sherlock.” I left John sleeping where he was and climbed into my pajamas which I found rumpled on the floor. “I have to say you missed a delightful expression on the bellhop's face when he saw you two spread out like breakfast on the bed. He didn't even ask for a tip.”

Tess made me giggle like John did. John and I had kicked off the covers some time in the night and I could just imagine what we looked like bare arsed and tangled together. Oh she was delightful. Tess let me sit right next to her on the sofa to help choose breakfast. We browsed through the room service menu and discussed John's weight. “He won't be able to eat a lot, not after all we made him eat last night.” said Tess doubtfully.

I scoffed, “John is amazing. If I really wanted him to he'd at least try. I'm going to order a bit of everything so he is for certain to have something he enjoys.”

“Tea.” I heard from the bed. John's voice was rough and heavy with sleep. He'd pulled the sheet up over his face and was laying on his back finally. It was rather precious, though I'd never tell him so. He'd be so offended.

I looked down at Tess haughtily. “John wants tea. Excuse me Tess, I must ring this in immediately.” She laughed as I called the large order in, arguing with the receptionist at the other end until I browbeat them into sending tea up instantly and not with the meal which would now take some time to prepare.

With a saucy wink and a grin to show her my attitude was a tease I went to John and gently lifted away the sheet. “Sherlock. It's bright.” I turned off the bedside lamp and pulled the curtain shut firmly. John peeled his eyes open slowly, “Thanks darling.”

“Of course John. Your tea will be here presently. Shall I help you get going?” I helped him out of bed and took him to the bathroom where we washed up and shaved each other carefully. We'd shower after we ate. When we came out a large carafe of water had joined the coffee and John made the tea perfectly as usual. “Thank you John.”

“This is a slice isn't it.” said John after comfortably settling himself on the sofa opposite Tess. I curled up tight to my husband and enjoyed my cup of tea with him. Tess smiled softly at us.

“It's strange that I'll never have anyone to discuss this with. Sherlock Holmes and John Watson, world renown for their fierce keenness and never-stay-dead attitude. Everyone knows that bit. What they'll never know is that the two sharpest knives in the drawer like to cuddle. That Death's Apprentice is docile when at home and that the Captain makes the best cup of tea to be found anywhere. You're beyond odd the pair of you. You're walking contradictions and yet you work in perfect harmony. I can see the two of you actually growing together. It's happening right in front of me and no one else will ever get to experience that. Each day there is a little more John in Sherlock's heart and every day there's a little more Sherlock in John's soul. It's brilliant!”

John and I looked at her a little confused when she finished. I cocked my head at Tess. “Impossible.” I stated. She was very startled.

“Most people would find my statements complimentary.” She said in a surprised tone.

I looked at her again. “Not the first part. The last bit. I can't be more in John's soul and he can't be more in my heart. It's impossible.”

“It's alright love, she doesn't understand and if she does understand chances are she won't believe.” John soothed me by petting my head. I was like a cat and lay my head back down on John's loving lap to accept his caresses blissfully.

I sounded sleepy when I just told her, “It's impossible because we only have one heart and we only have one soul. We know for certain because each was missing the other while we were parted. When we were together again it was alright once more. We can't be parted again. We'll die. You can't live without a heart. I know. You can't live without a soul. John knows.” Simple. Obvious.

Tess gaped at us and then tears filled her eyes. She looked incredibly sentimental suddenly and her face and voice were so tender. “I actually do understand and I actually do believe. I know the facts and you can't argue with facts.” Oh she was so marvelous.

I smiled at Tess and enjoyed looking at her as we waited. Like John she understood and just let me stare at her while she sipped her tea. John petted my hair, softly toying with the bumps and knobs that were slowly becoming curls with each day. I admired the fire in Tess's hair and the gray which I'd always liked. I enjoyed the brown of her eyes, so different than the sweet blue of John's. Her lashes were thick but not overly long and I appreciated how they enhanced the sweet look of her face. I thought Tess was rather lovely all over. She was filled with characteristics I found appealing. She wasn't a blank page. She had little mysteries everywhere.

I realized our time with Tess had an expiration date. That made every minute with her extra special and suddenly I was so happy we were doing this for her, that she'd insisted on coming along, that she would know for certain how much we loved her. Even if it wasn't enough. Maybe especially because it was not enough and would never be. John petted my hair slowly now and my eyes slid shut as I took in every minute sensation. The tap at the door was once again almost unwelcome. Still we had ordered so while Tess held the door open two servers rolled in carts and unloaded our vast breakfast in the kitchenette. They left a fresh pot of water to go with the still nearly full one we already had and a new pot of coffee.

We looked at the excessive amount of food. There was no way in the world three people were going to eat all of it but Tess and John just narrowed their eyes at one another. John spoke, “Oh challenge accepted Tess!” I laughed. They sat across from one another and once again I was in charge of serving portions onto their respective plates while I nibbled on my own meal. I tried not to laugh but John and Tess were so grimly serious about eating all they could.

I sipped my tea and was scrupulous about making each serving exactly the same. I had confidence in my John and had no intention of him being dishonored by my apparent inaccuracy. He and Tess cleared two full plates of food before they began to slow down. There was lots left. I had only eaten most of one plate and I felt very full. Still, I wondered how much I could consume if I just tried a bit harder. Having encouraged myself I refilled my plate and matched them bite for bite.

Slowly but surely we emptied platter after platter, each of us stoically eating our way through one dish after another. I didn't particularly care for any of the dishes but I lifted my fork and ate one mouthful after another until it was almost painful.

The platters were empty except for a stack of toast. The coffee pot and one tea pot were likewise empty. I felt like dying. “John I may be ill.” I reported. He looked a little green. “John, I am going to be ill. Please excuse me.”

I went to the bathroom and was heroically sick. Even after our bachelor party I hadn't thrown up. I was making up for it now. I emptied myself of everything I'd consumed in the last three days. I hung onto the toilet afterward and kept my eyes shut tight to flush. I didn't want to trigger another round. I managed to stand after a bit and just stripped down and showered. I felt so much better.

I wrapped myself in a hotel robe and tottered out. Tess and John were laying out on one bed each. I wobbled over to the table and made myself a cup of tea and nibbled the crust off a piece of toast. I felt almost perfect now. I ate the rest of the toast and drank another cup of tea. Tess and John still looked green. “Darling would you like me to keep the room for another day? Only it's nearly time for checkout.”

John shook his head. “I want to go home. Pack up darling, you can drive.” That was fine with me. I packed our bags after giving them each a cool damp cloth for their foreheads. Their stomachs were protruding. I gave John's the gentlest of caresses and kissed him tenderly. I helped him to the bathroom and waited until he was done. He was so uncomfortable. I let him brush his teeth before we packed up our accessories. “Want to shower?” he shook his head.

I went out and helped Tess. She locked herself in the bathroom for nearly thirty minutes and came out showered and looking less green. I had clean clothes laid out for her so she dressed quickly and we checked out. I made them sit in the back so they could doze and drove cautiously all the way back to London. I dropped Tess at her hotel. “We'll ring you tomorrow Tess, sleep well love.” I squeezed her hand. She wouldn't accept more affection than that, not in public. It was late afternoon now.

I helped John into the flat and left him on the sofa still rubbing his belly. I caressed it tenderly again and went to make him tea which he drank without complaint. I snuggled down on the floor in front of him and lay my head on his lap. Soon his hand was on my hair and he petted me lovingly. “When do you want to do this darling?”

“I believe I can be completely prepared as early as tomorrow John. I don't need a lot of items. The disposal will be the really tricky part but I'm confident we can make both of them disappear entirely. I will need to make some cash purchases around the city to assemble everything I need. We'll need to buy everything separately to ensure plausible deniability. It will be rather gruesome though John. I promised Tess. Will that be alright?” I didn't want John to be surprised or horrified. That would destroy me. I wrapped my arm around his leg and clung a bit. I needed John so much. He was my heart.

He petted my hair for a long time then tilted my face back so I could see him. “I don't know about alright but it's what's going to happen so I accept that. I suppose my biggest worry isn't that we'll be caught. I doubt highly that will happen to us. I'm more concerned that we're crossing a boundary that perhaps oughtn't be crossed. Then I think of all the lives I've taken and wonder how justified those were. I killed soldiers true, but what made me a better man than them? Nothing except my ability to survive long enough to kill them before they killed me. You've killed the worst sorts of people for the best kinds of reasons. Can I say that? I believe we are helping. We're removing two people who should have been erased a long time ago. Perhaps it makes it worse because we're doing it for love or maybe that makes it better. In the end it comes down to choice and we've chosen. I trust you Sherlock. I trust you will do everything you promised and I trust that you'll keep me by your side while you do it. I might be sickened or shocked but I won't stop you and I won't stop loving you, not a bit.”

I was relieved. I didn't know I'd been tense but I melted into John and loved him intensely. “I adore you John. You are my heart and I would never want to break my heart. You will be sickened. You will be shocked. They aren't going to go fast or easy. Kevin tortured Tess for an entire day. I won't go that far but their last hours will be filled with screams. I can guarantee it.”

We discussed it clinically then. John made suggestions. I listened. We added items to our shopping list. We decided to make our purchase all over London. I had a list of addresses in my head. Finally John just took my hand firmly in his and said, “I'm feeling better now my love. Let's get some money and get to work.”

We went to a bank and made a large cash withdrawal. We went back to the flat and John made me dress in slacks and a jumper again. “You don't look like the famous Sherlock Holmes without the Belstaff and the curls. This will be better.” It wasn't the first time I'd used a disguise so I capitulated gracefully. I went so far as to use hair gel to slick my head down smoothly so the burgeoning curls were tight and flat against my scalp. John looked me over and nodded. “Let's go my love. We have business to take care of.”

We took a series of cabs from one place to the next. John had bought a very large wheeled bag that was normally for sporting accessories. We placed item after item in it until it was full. Our last stop was a home supply depot. John cheerfully made small talk about renovating and got the floor person to talk us into carabiner, which we needed, as well as large rolls of heavy plastic and some low tack tape. “Keeps paint off of everything. You won't have a mess to clear up. It's biodegradable so you can incinerate it when you're done painting.”

“Marvelous! The things you can get these days!” enthused John. I was so proud of his manipulations. He never really directly lied. He had let the young man assume and had just run with it until we'd left the store laden with the last of the supplies I required. We took yet a different cab home.

“John let's order pizza and work on our items.” It had been a long day now and John was finally feeling hungry. He let me call it in and we began to formulate our overall plan. John made tea. We went down to see Mrs Hudson while we waited for our delivery. When it arrived we ate it with her, joking and teasing her about her many dates. She'd been busy every day since we were married. I enjoyed the pinkness of her cheeks when she told us that one particular diplomat had managed to go out with her on three different occasions though there were many vying for her time.

“I'm just a simple old lady. I have no idea what's going on in those heads of theirs.” John patted her hand. What was not to admire about Mrs Hudson? That she was a faithful friend who believed the word of those she cared about above anyone else? That she took in two wild cards and treated them with affection and understanding? That she was clearly so important to me that a mad-man threatened to kill her? Oh Mrs Hudson. The list of your good qualities was so very long. Those men were intelligent enough to see that even getting her to tea was something to be sought.

“They see a treasure Mrs Hudson. They didn't get where they are in this world by missing what's right in front of their noses. I'm so pleased you're enjoying yourself. Still, if anyone behaves badly please remind them that Sherlock adores you and that he would be incredibly disappointed to have to pay them his compliments in person.” She blushed and swatted John's hand.

“You boys are so full of jokes. Everyone has been perfectly pleasant to me. Not one word out of place or well...they've been lovely.” she blushed a bit again and we delicately dropped the topic. John switched the conversation other safer concerns. When we were done eating we kissed her good night, told her we'd be touring around for a few days and saw ourselves back to our flat.

Fed and full of Mrs Hudson's affection we kissed for a minute then took everything we'd purchased up to John's old room. We unpacked it all and examined every last bit of it. John helped me prepare and we weren't done until the early hours of the morning. Packing our new bundles up neatly into three largish bags we tidied up and went to shower before bed. I was jittery now. We had plans and just needed to wait but waiting wasn't something I was good at.

I was selecting pajamas to wear when John turned me around and simply fastened my collar on. I was instantly calm. I stood there passively and looked at him. “Breath slowly Sherlock. I want you to relax yourself starting from the top of your head until you've worked yourself all the way down to your toes. Close your eyes. Go on.”

I closed my eyes and did as he asked. Section after section of my body unwound until I was standing tall and breathing easy. “Open your eyes now darling.” I looked at John and felt all my love for him overwhelm me. “You're absolutely beautiful my Sherlock. Your eyes are so sweet, almost innocent. Come to bed love, just as you are.”

We went to bed and John cuddled me close to him. I wound myself around him and closed my eyes. “Will you pet my hair John?” I asked shyly. I was still bashful about admitting how much I loved physical contact. I bit my lip when he began and let my eyes slide shut. The feel of his fingertips as they ran over my sensitive scalp was warm and so intimate. John's non-sexual caresses were so natural, so devoted and I never tired of receiving them. He was keeping yet another promise, to give me all the love and affection I had not gotten from anyone else my entire long life. “I love you John. You make me so very happy.”

“I love you too Sherlock. Everything about you is so perfect for me. You make me happy and you make me proud. You're the best husband anyone could ask for.” My cheeks pinked as he complimented me. He gave me a small hug and kissed my hair. “Sleep now my precious darling. I've got you. We're together and nothing, absolutely nothing else matters.” I shut my eyes and did as I was told. I slept.

I woke in the morning as John undid my collar. He kissed the flesh it had hidden and I sighed. “I liked it very much John. It helps.” John kissed my neck again. The cool air felt crisp against my skin which pebbled a bit.

“I know darling. I can see that it does. I'll keep it with me in case we need it.” I kissed him sweetly. I found that the more we were alone together the more I was able to just be who I felt like with John. I didn't need to be the rude, defensive, and purposefully isolated man I used to be. With John all my insecurities were unnecessary. He loved me for all of myself and it was almost too much to take in sometimes but it set me free. If I wanted to be soft and sweet with John then he loved and appreciated it. If I needed to be petulant and argumentative he merely wanted to understand and help me with my frustrations. Whatever it was about me that had found no succor elsewhere was taken gently into John's vast heart and treasured. In fact, the more difficult I was the more he treasured me. I asked him about that. “If being with you was easy my darling, anyone could have done so by now. I'm the lucky one.”

“I love you so much my John. Come, let's get the day going.” I kissed my beloved doctor and helped him out of bed. We showered quickly and made ourselves ready for a long day. I texted Tess and got her to pack another overnight bag and cab over here. “John will make breakfast again but not coffee. He's back on tea full time.”

“Whatever Sherlock. I'll be by in an hour.” Tess was abrupt and hung up without another word. I shrugged and went to the kitchen to cling to John. He giggled and leaned back onto me as he prepared ingredients so I kissed his hair and his neck and rubbed his belly which was flat again. I sighed.

“I can only get fat so fast Sherlock.” teased John. I teased him back by lifting his shirt and stroking the soft hair on his belly. He giggled again and wiggled away but I just pinched his bottom and hauled him back in front of the stove. I settled my hands on his hips and my chin on his shoulder to watch him work. I kissed his cheek frequently and just loved my marvelous John with everything in me. He leaned back again. “We should have fucked this morning.”

I nodded but it was too late now. Tess would be here soon and I found I wasn't interested in making love to her today. I was very interested in John but we'd have to wait now. Possibly for a couple of days. I sighed when I calculated the time required. “Later my love. We'll need every scrap of energy to get through this. We'll be gone for at least three days. Maybe less but that mostly depends on how we managed the end part. Your idea should work very well. A little stomach churning but an excellent idea. It will work.”

John turned in my arms and we kissed like we had the day we were wed. Our mouths pressed together and opened so we could take one another in. We fortified ourselves with each other and then just held each other for a minute. I kissed John's head and he kissed my cheek. He turned back to the counter and began to put everything together while I held him. Tess arrived and Mrs Hudson just shooed her upstairs. She rapped smartly on our door so I let her in. She hugged me quickly and hugged John as well. “So?”

“We're going to have sturdy breakfast and then we're leaving. I'm glad you are comfortably clothed Tess. I hope you slept well. It's going to be a long night.” She sat quietly at the table and made no comment. I understood. She was about to face the consequences of her request. I put my hand over hers. “It's not too late to stop Tess. We've found them. It would be the easiest thing in the world to simply call the authorities and have them both arrested. Kevin would most certainly end up in prison and as an accessory Sarah would be given a criminal record at the very least. Their lives would be as good as over. We can simply stay.”

Her lip trembled and her hand shook. I laced my fingers into hers and looked at her in the eye. “Or we can go there and you can watch as I rip them to shreds one screaming piece at a time. It's all up to you.”

John set plates of food in front of both of us and plunked a stack of toast in the middle of the table. After he poured a round of tea he urged Tess to eat. She did so woodenly, without noticing how delicate the flavors were or how well John had put everything together. I snuggled up to him and let him know how much I liked everything with a gentle touch of my hand.

Finally Tess finished her meal and looked up at both of us with great seriousness. “You are both mad.” I blinked and looked at John who was looking back at Tess with equal solemnity. 

There was no denial when he responded, “We told you as much when we first met Tess. We're a love match. A highly functional near sociopath and a dog of war. We were made for each other.” John just regarded Tess calmly so I put my head on his again to watch her as well. She did look lovely this morning. Her clothes were simple and practical. She had chosen a simple blouse to go with some dark trousers and sensible shoes. Her cardigan was ordinary. Nothing about Tess would be outstanding or remarkable today. She was like John in his jumpers, safe seeming but hiding dark secrets. I adored her.

“You are both mad and I am using you for petty vengeance.” I looked at her curiously. “I can't help but remember that what we are about to do is a bit not good. Why do I have the right to end two lives, two happy lives and possibly damage you both to attain it?”

I tried to comfort her, “If it makes it easier for you Tess it's going to happen anyway. I've decided. It's all worked out. I spent years snuffing out criminals, most of whom had never once been part of a crime the nature of which your ex husband is now benefiting from. If they were worthy to die at my hand what makes you think that Kevin is exempt from earning that same consideration?”

Tess actually paled and sat back. I had dismayed her and my heart ached to see it. I curled against John and he took my hand to sooth me. Looking at Tess he spoke, “Yes we are madmen but we are madmen with rules and limits. Sherlock is this creature now, no matter how he started, no matter how he should have been. Once it's been taken in whatever Sherlock learns becomes a part of him. He's wonderfully clever and as we've mentioned many times, an addict. He'll want to do this someday. Killing. He was so very good at it. Now he won't have to decide alone whether or not he's doing a good thing or a bad thing by taking a life. Now he's got me to help him decide that and then we'll choose. We choose Tess. No one gets to have any say in that. Not even you.”

“It's awful. It's unthinkable.” Tess protested. I regarded her again. She was arguing with stone. We couldn't change the facts. You couldn't argue with facts. I had already waged a war for love and now I loved Tess. Kevin was going to die and it was that simple. Obvious.

Still, John had pointed out on many occasions that what was perfectly obvious to me was very seldom obvious to everyone else so I tried to explain further, “I was discretely offered a position with nearly every government there is to be found anywhere, a position whereby I would be loosed upon their populations like a weapon. I was to be given anything I wanted as long as I killed where they pointed me. I could have done it. John and I would have been well compensated with anything we chose to indulge in anywhere at all. Was this unthinkable? Many thought it and in great detail. John said no without saying no at all. We choose. It's going to happen just like the sun is going to rise tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that. We choose to not fight the inevitable. Instead we choose to harness it, make it our own and not let it rule us. We are not ravening monsters.”

John leaned over and took her hand, “If it helps some more we only seem to kill for love and we love you. Maybe not enough, not enough to truly deserve you but enough that we wish to do this for you. You don't have to watch. You can go back to your room and enjoy the city until we return.” He sat back and I coiled against him once again.

Tess's eyes lit with furious fire and I almost gasped to see the beauty of her rage flame up again. “Don't think for a second that you're leaving me behind John Watson! If you are resolved to continue then I am resolved to witness this. There are fourteen scars on my back. Kevin owes me for each and every one of them.”

“Oh Tess, I do love you!” I exclaimed, adoring her anew. I reached over and toyed with her fingers which were balled up into fists on the table. She was so wonderful and passionate about everything. Her excesses and broad interests made her one of the most remarkable creatures I'd ever come across. She looked at me, clearly startled and then began to laugh.

“Sherlock you never stop surprising me. Anyone else would not be smitten with someone because of their murderous intent but look at you. Like a kitten you are, soft and playful.” I grinned at her. We had cheered her up and that was good. John patted my thigh and we stood.

“We're all ready. We've gotten everything we needed. We can go when you like. Same way. We'll take a cab and rent a car. It will be that simple really. We're just going to drive right over there and get started. Are you ready Tess?” It was a many fold question but it needed to be asked. Tess stood and nodded sharply. John held the door for her and let her descend while he and I gathered our baggage together.


	11. The Bitter End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tess has made a request that Sherlock and John have agreed to honor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This bit is gruesome. If you have a weak stomach or otherwise you might want to give this a miss. A million years ago a writing professor of mine said that the hardest thing to create was an original way for someone to die. I've watched enough TV and fims and read enough books to realize this is very true. Once again I've taken some logistical liberties here and just written the story. I hope you enjoy the final chapter. There will be more as the story grows, but for now this is the end.

I hailed a cab which took only a moment. John poked me in the back and I nudged him with my hip as he silently complained again about the ease with which I had done so. He always had trouble hailing cabs, I didn't understand why. We loaded up and went to a rental agency where we got a family sized car. As soon as we were packed up we left.

The drive was relatively quiet. We stopped here and there to refresh ourselves but a short while after a brief late lunch we arrived at our destination. We parked in the exact same spot since it allowed for overnight use. It was incredibly handy. We pulled out the first part of our supplies, gum boots, one pair for each of us. “This is the most common brand used in this area. Even if someone finds our trail from here to Kevin's place they won't be able to tell anything about us from the footprints.”

John and I shouldered our heavy packs and gave a smaller one to Tess. She put it on without complaint and we slipped into the woods. Walking with slow determination we made our way to the edge of the property and slipped over the low fence and between the flowerbeds until we were in the compound directly.

There was a large barn a small distance from the house. It was empty except for bales of peat moss and old flower pots. John and I swept through it quickly and dropped our bags in a dark corner. The space was perfect. John and I kissed once again, deeply, passionately and with a squeeze of our fingers we separated to do our next tasks.

I vanished down the roadway, keeping to the lightly forested riparian zone between the fields of fragrant flowers. The property was enclosed with the same low wooden fence we had breached so easily but the single road entering the enclosure was fenced off for fifty meters on either side. There was a sign that I turned “Closed for business” and I locked the gate behind me. No unexpected visitors would arrive today. Task completed I raced back down the lane, eager to return to John. I made my way invisibly past the house a second time and rejoined my husband in the barn.

John and Tess had used my temporary absence to begin preparations. They unfurled large rolls of plastic sheeting, covering the space around us completely. We unrolled some more and with my longer arms we taped up a makeshift wall all around us. When we were done we had a room constructed, the floor was also covered and the edges sealed tight. We unpacked the bags and laid out everything we would need. Tess sat in a corner, legs folded neatly.

“We'll be back very soon love. Will you be alright?” John asked. She was pale again but nodded. We knew the barn frightened her but it was what she needed to do and because she was brave she would do it. The first stage was done. The second was about to begin. John and I both kissed her tenderly and slipped away from her like ghosts.

Getting into their home was simple. We used the front door. It wasn't locked at all. Tess had told us of Kevin's dislike for having to lock his own home behind him whenever he left for a minute. It had been a longstanding habit with him and one I was pleased to see remain unchanged. I listened. It was nearing tea time and as I had hoped both Sarah and Kevin were getting ready to sit down together.

John and I looked at one another. With a simple nod we both just strode through the kitchen door, startling Sarah and causing Kevin to jump back. Without giving them an instant to react John and I both grabbed the wrists of our planned targets, spun them so their backs were to us and rapped each of them smartly on the head with small weighted batons we had procured. Both of them went down without a sound. I examined the kitchen to make sure there was nothing on that would cause premature alarm. The stove was off, their tea was sitting on the table. Nothing else was of concern.

John hefted Sarah over his shoulder and I took up Kevin with a grunt. He was very sturdy and as tall as I was. The gloves we had worn made the task of gripping them that much more awkward but we managed without complaint and hauled the pair of them right to the barn across their own gravel paths. It was still broad daylight.

When we came back with our burdens Tess looked sick. She could barely look at Kevin. Oh how he would pay for causing her to feel like that! I trussed them up neatly until each one was tied up like a Christmas goose, their wings tied back and their legs spread wide open. It would be uncomfortable at first but then the pain of everything else would take their minds right off that.

I left them on their bellies to regain consciousness in their own time. Tess unpacked another bag and we shared a small meal of sandwiches and tea from a thermos. John leaned up against me as I sat on the ground and we divided a packet of biscuits up between us. By the time we were done our simple repast the first groans were being heard.

“What..what's happening. What's going on?” Sarah had recovered first. Well John wouldn't have struck her as hard as I struck Kevin. It made sense. Still at the sound of her voice Kevin began to shift. Sarah was already panicking. She wiggled in her bonds and looked around wildly until she saw Tess who was still neatly folded up in the corner sipping a cup of tea. Sarah's eyes widened in disbelief. “YOU! What in the world do you think you are doing Tess!”

Tess laughed lightly and said nothing. Kevin stirred and while Sarah struggled to free herself while eying us all fearfully he opened his eyes. I had arranged him perfectly. The first person he saw was Tess. She wave at him. “Hullo love! I'm here to visit. I brought some lovely friends to meet you.”

I waved first, “You can call me Siegerson. This is Hamish.” John waved and Tess winked at Kevin whose mouth didn't seem to work. Sarah was making a high pitched panting sound.

“What do you want with us! How did you find us! Tess, what is all this?” He actually sounded indignant. He was tied up on the floor of a barn in full view of the woman he had raped and attempted to kill and he was outraged. He also hadn't bothered to look at Sarah to see if she was alright. He hadn't tried to comfort or reach out to her at all. I felt a little disgusted.

“Hamish I may not be able to drag this out the way I wished. He's incredibly annoying.” I examined Kevin intently. I had tied him neatly. I could begin anywhere and none of the bonds on him would get in the way.

Sarah began to scream. I smiled at her and it made her scream louder. “Siegerson would you care to explain the upcoming event?” John gave me a little wink and I smiled lovingly at him and nodded. I crouched down so Sarah and Kevin didn't need to crane their necks to see me. Their faces were red with exertion and fear. I smiled again.

“Some time ago Kevin here decided that his wife was not worthy of him. That's where you came in Sarah, quite literally. Your parting gift to her was fourteen brilliant scars on her back and one lovely long burn on her leg. That's fifteen times you owe her a scream. A good one mind you, nothing half arsed. Poor sweet Sarah, you will help him pay this price since you helped him before, you deserve to be a part of this. You only need to scream for us seven times, isn't that nice? Then I'll cut your tongue out and continue with your new husband here.” They were struggling wildly now, desperate to escape. Their eyes were as wide as they could get and each ragged breath they inhaled was almost a sob.

I sat on the floor. “After I cut out Sarah's tongue I am going to bleed her out one drop at a time until she's near death. While she flails around like a fish on a hook I am going to start taking Kevin apart one limb at a time. Please note my accessories. No saw. Between Hamish and myself we can dismember you nearly completely before you die of shock and we won't need a bone saw at all. We're terribly skilled. I mean that sincerely. It will be terrible.”

“Why the fuck would you do this for her! Who the hell are you people!” he shrilled. Not very manly but then cowards generally were not. John and I paused to climb into paper suits that covered us from head to toe and pulled up tight fitting hoods. I knelt down and stared Kevin right in the eyes.

“She's our lover. We love her. She's incredible. You do incredible things for incredible people. What you did was incredible. Like all suitors I need to one up you to prove my love. Here we go then.” I felt so calm now. I had it all planned out and it was going perfectly. I felt no hesitation as I selected a blade and made my first cut across his naked back. I kept it slow and shallow, just enough for the skin to part but not enough to damage the muscle beneath.

Screams echoed throughout the building as I worked. I kept it slow, not wanting the shock to wear off completely and also not wanting them to pass out from the pain. I ignored Tess, not wishing to be distracted as I performed my art and art it was. John complimented me endlessly on my precision, my delicacy and my cleverness in increasing the pain. I blushed more than once as his words washed over me. John loved me so! My heart was full.

The hours went by swiftly as I exacted my careful vengeance. I reduced them one cut at a time into a shivering mass of wordless pain. They had begged and pleaded with all of us in turn. Kevin shouted out apology after apology, promised Tess anything he could think of if she could just get me to stop. At one point I finally turned to her. “What do you wish our darling? Shall we end it now?”

I smiled sweetly at her, loving the flush in her cheek, the pale anger that still filled her. She was my muse I realized, that spark of inspiration that made me want to excel on her behalf, to make their cries the sweetest sounds she'd ever hear. When Tess heard these screams in her dreams she would smile.

“Thank you my dark angel. I think they've lasted a lovely long time. You choose Siegerson. You and Hamish choose.” She smiled at us, the roses in her cheek once again the most charming I'd ever seen. She looked happy and I was delirious with joy. We had made Tess happy. I felt warm inside.

I looked towards my beloved soldier. He was proud and also happy even though he was thick with blood up to his wrists from helping me restrain one or the other of my offerings as I sliced them to ribbons. He nodded so while he held Sandra's head still I cut out her tongue and set in front of the dazed but horrified Kevin. Her cries were muffled with the blood that pooled in her mouth. “For the lies she told.” I explained. I then nicked her throat very carefully so that the blood spurted out steadily with every slowing beat of her heart but not fast enough to kill her instantly.

His ardor for life renewed Kevin undertook to scream and shake once again, desperation making him flail against the unforgiving ropes that still secured him. John came over with more and bound Kevin tightly at his hip, a rubber ball pressing down to cut off the flow of blood. With care and precision I removed his leg and set it in front of Sandra. I did the same service to both of Kevin's arms and then lastly removed his final limb. Now in pieces as promised I ended his screams by digging my longest blade up slowly under his ribs and into his traitorous heart.

I stood back and looked at the broken bodies in front of me. Kevin looked fairly odd with his body bound and disassembled. Tess began to laugh. It was strange and dark. My eyes fluttered shut as I listened to her wild joy. They opened again when she took my face firmly in her soft hands and kissed me savagely. “Thank you my love and I do love you! I love you both so much. You have made me the happiest person in the whole world. Thank you sweet darling, thank you.” She kissed me hard a second time before kissing John passionately. We grinned madly at her and dripped quietly onto the plastic. 

The rest of the plan involved the disposal of the two bodies. I quickly took the now flaccid form of Sarah apart. John helped me to lay them out piece at a time until we had the two of them spread neatly on the plastic floor. All the blood was soaked up by the absorbent mats we had brought with us. We took the bales of peat and made a hollow rectangle with them and covered that with yet more clear plastic. Dumping the pieces in I opened the gallon containers of powders we had so arduously collected and brought with us.

I was a scientist. I had spent most of my life learning the different ways criminals hid their tracks and how they failed. I understood very well what the difficulties were and over my career I had picked up more than enough skills to make this very simple indeed. With cautious precision I poured one container after another over the pile. As each component was added a small haze began to form and the concoction began to bubble all on it's own. I added handfuls of other particular powders and then water from a hose around the back of the barn until my cauldron of human flesh began to steam and let off the most appalling stench. We stood near the door as the noxious fumes did their job. After a couple of hours where we took tea from another thermos the chemical stew was done and all that was left was a yellow brown mass of thick liquid.

We drained it all into large containers and since it was now dark we used a wheelbarrow to haul the sealed containers out to the fields. I had laughed to myself earlier when I saw Kevin had prepared our way for us. In the end of the field was a large composting area. A long narrow pit stood ready to received the remains of an upcoming harvest. We poured our containers into it and then spread lime heavily all over the pit while the liquid soaked into the soil. “They've been reduced to their basic components. Even if someone decides to go over their property with cadaver dogs they won't find anything of interest here. They're literally shit now.”

Still cheery we went inside and rolled up the bloody mats and treated them to the same process. While it stewed I filled another container with a slightly different concoction and dropped all my tools into it. When I poured it off all my knives were shiny and clean. I poured the liquid into the pool with the rest and packed my knives up. It didn't take nearly as long and we emptied those containers over the same pit and covered it with yet more lime. The plastic was rolled up and Tess started a small fire in the outdoor pit where Kevin and Sandra had possibly enjoyed fine evenings. It was secluded and romantic. We burned the plastic sheeting and the containers, burned our paper suits and even burned Tess's jacket which had a spot of blood on it from when she'd kissed me. I stirred the fire a lot and made sure every bit of what we'd brought with us turned to indecipherable dust.

When the fire had burned down to powder ash it was dawn. In the morning light we carefully went over the scene. I diligently cataloged all the tells that would have triggered my interest if I'd been called here on a case and one bit of evidence at a time we erased our presence from the property. We went so far as to go into their home and wipe down every surface John and I had gone near, using a small hand vacuum to suck up every speck we could find in case we'd left a hair or anything of the sort behind. I ran out to the fence and turned the sign before reopening the gate. I wiped the whole thing down and made sure I left no tracks on my way back.

John had our much emptied packs ready. He took my hand and kissed me again. With Tess following behind us we simply strolled away in the dawn light. I examined the parking lot before we got back into our rental. There was no sign on the gravel that anyone had arrived or departed since we parked so we climbed in a drove away.

That's all there was to it. We drove until we found a truck stop that offered shower rentals. We paid the small fees and washed ourselves from head to toe before changing into all fresh clothes. We found a laundromat and washed everything we had been wearing. Tess took our gum boots to a large sink and scrubbed them until they were cleaner than new. Once all was sterile we drove until we found a drop-off site for donations and gave everything away.

I was very tired but well pleased. John drove for a while until we were several hours away. He found a nice hotel and checked in as John Hamish Watson-Holmes, using our credit card to pay. We went inside, showered again and fell into our respective beds to sleep. We slept until the next morning. We'd been gone from home for just over two days now. 

I awoke bubbly and happy. Tess was still sleeping hard so I began to tease John coquettishly under the sheet. He woke up smiling and just as playful as I was. Soon we were engaged in a full out tickle fight which didn't end until we fell off our bed with a thump. “You two are giant children.” complained Tess sleepily.

“We're not children. We're going to fuck now too so if you want to join in you'd better get over here.” said John who picked me up and tossed me onto the bed. “Shit!”

“What!” I exclaimed. John looked very put out.

“No condoms. No lube! We're totally unprepared.” I frowned, not pleased with this hiccup.

“I don't want to fuck anyway John. I'm tired and my back hurts. I'm hungry. Let's just check out and eat. We can fuck when we get back to London.” Tess dragged herself out of bed and into the shower.

“I don't think so.” I said darkly and pounced on my doctor. Using copious amounts of saliva I impaled myself on him and together we fucked furiously until we came. It only took a few minutes but it was long enough to make me sore. I didn't regret it, especially when John licked the cum off my cock after he pulled out of me.

Tess rolled her eyes when she came out. We were sweaty and panting and giggling with one another. “You really are children. Well hurry up and shower. I said I was hungry.” John and I raced in to wash fast. We showered quickly and used the facilities before getting dressed. We hurried to dress one another and met an impatient Tess by the door. We solicitously carried her overnight bag for her to sooth her irritation.

John once again found an agreeable place to dine. We ordered a lot of everything, this time eating until we were just full and not exploding. Tess found her good mood again and soon we were all teasing and joking together. “What now?” she finally asked.

“Well we're still on our honeymoon so I thought we could go on a bit of a drive and just look about. There's plenty of open air markets and fairs going on all over the place. How does that sound? We've got quite a bit of cash on us. We could do a bit of shopping too.” John's idea was marvelous. We went back to our car and did exactly that.

For the rest of our day we drove from township to township just peering around and enjoying all England had to offer. We sampled home-made foods, examined display after display of home crafted items and just relaxed. Tess was glowing. She was as happy and bubbly as we were. John and I went hand in hand everywhere but we took turns keeping Tess on our arm, escorting her everywhere devotedly.

We worked our way closer and closer to Town until at last we were back on familiar streets. John drove us to the rental agency and before long a cab was pulling up to drop us back of at 221B. We refused to listen to Tess when she asked to be returned to her hotel room. With devilish intent we drew her only mildly protesting self back upstairs to our room.

We ravished her. We took Tess in as many ways as we could imagine and she showed us hints of what was in store for us later as her lessons began for real. The night was long and filled with earnest groans of pleasure and effort. The sounds of flesh on flesh were endlessly arousing and the perfume of our ardor was the finest scent to ever grace the air around us.

It got rougher toward the end of our long night. John raked his nails down my back at one point and I writhed with ecstatic agony. Tess slowly dragged her long nails down my neck and onto my chest to leave long reddened lines behind and I shuddered all over. Tess showed John different ways to bite and nip at my sensitive body and both of them completely destroyed me. Now I was the one who was ravished.

Caught deliciously between the both of them I was stimulated back and front by their never ending teases and caresses, both of them skillfully keeping me riding the bitter-sweet edge of orgasm until tears rolled down my face and I was gasping sharply. Blood dripped onto the sheets and John was once again compelled to hold me tight to him as he fucked my ass. My cock was buried deep inside Tess as she lay spread wide beneath me. I was their puppet and they were masters.

The world went away. I could see nothing, hear nothing, say nothing. My body locked into place as a tsunami of endorphins tore me to shred. The searing agony of my pleasure threw me right out of my flesh again. Once more I could see John kneeling behind me, his perfect ass thrusting steadily as he fucked me through my crisis. Tess was arched back on the pillow, her face red and her mouth opened as she joined me. I could see my arms flailing, my body jerking spasmodically in John's tight grip, my head caught fast against his shoulder with one hand.

I gasped one last time before I slammed back into my body. My eyes flew open and I collapsed. John was groaning behind me and I could feel him distantly filling me with himself. I hung limply in his embrace, simply receiving him without protest until he was done. My magnificent soldier. He held me tenderly, kissing my neck and pliant cheek as he fought to breath. With trembling hands he helped lay my unresponsive body to one side of Tess and fell behind me. His arm flopped over my waist and suddenly I could think again. “John John John John John John John” I chanted as I admired the pure debauchery that was Tess. 

Tess was every meaning of the word magnificent. She was splayed out in front of me, flushed and sweaty. Her breasts bore finger tip bruises as did her belly and her hips and even her shoulders. The expression on her face was utter satisfaction with the state of the universe.

John tugged so I rolled to my back. I bared my throat automatically and he ran his loving tongue over my many scrapes and bruises. I smiled beatifically. I was being worshiped by my god and there was nothing else in the world that I could wish for. Finally he caught my bruised lips with his. I could once again taste the copper tang on his tongue. We kissed ardently my arms creeping up weakly until they were wound about John. When he finally pulled back he kissed my eyes, my nose, my chin, my ears, my temples. “I love you Sherlock. I love you so much.”

“I love you John, with everything in me. I love you.” we kissed again and nuzzled one another affectionately. He managed to get his arms around me and we hugged each other tightly for a long time before parting with tiny dotted kisses everywhere we could reach. With a small smile John lay back beside me and turned me back to Tess. She had been watching us with a small smile of her own.

“That's probably the most beautiful interaction I've ever witnessed. I'll never doubt it, your love is truly holy. It's the most complete love I've ever thought to see. I feel honored to know it where none others will have the ability to truly know.” she smiled at us, her delight in our love unfeigned and appreciative.

With a happy grin I reached out and tugged our beautiful Tess back into our arms. With much petting and small kisses we enjoyed ourselves until the need to leave the bed could be resisted no longer. 

After a quick round with the toilet we gallantly offered Tess the first shower. She rolled her eyes but accepted so while she cleaned up John and I prepared everything we wanted to make for breakfast. When the water shut off we went right upstairs to help Tess towel herself dry. She smacked our bottoms and chased us into the water where John and I washed up quickly. Grabbing pajamas and robes we stuck our feet into slippers and went downstairs.

Tess was most of the way through cooking breakfast. All of us milled about in concert with one another as we laid out our meal. It wasn't long before we were sitting around the table to eat and laugh together. There was a short knock on the door and Mrs Hudson popped in, “Sherlock, John. Oh hello Miss Archer. Sorry to intrude. Sherlock there's a man from the Yard downstairs. He's asked to come up.”

I was a little put out. Weren't we still on honeymoon? Hadn't Greg asked the Yarders to not bother us until he was back as well? “Thank you Mrs Hudson. Send him up. We can at least talk to him.” Mrs Hudson nodded and turned to leave.

She turned back for a second. “Excuse me Miss Archer but you may want to adjust the buttons on your blouse. It seems some have gone astray.” and with a knowing wink she vanished downstairs to let the Yarder in.

Tess blushed a brilliant scarlet. “She knows!” she cried and John laughed as he helped her fix the errant buttons which had indeed been 'accidentally' undone by me while we cooked. I bit my lip and tried not to laugh. Tess glared at me then she laughed. “Bugger.”

I stifled another laugh because someone was now knocking nervously at our door. I pulled my robe tight and put on my most petulant expression. John giggled which just about ruined it but I managed to maintain my facade and yanked the door open abruptly. Opening my mouth to chastise the man I realized it was Dimmock. “Sherlock I know you're still on your honeymoon and Lestrade did threaten to demote me if I did this but you really need to come down and see this scene. We're at a total loss. It's just the lads down there, Anderson and Donovan are still on suspension. It's a solid seven though.”

Hmm. A seven. And it would be our first case since my return. Still, I had company and I hadn't asked John. I looked down my nose at the man. “Why is it a seven?” 

Dimmock looked uncomfortable. “Someone broke into one of the consulates. They won't let the Yard in. Politics mate. They asked for you directly. Said you'd be the only one allowed.” Well, that was interesting.

“Send me everything you've got and I'll decide after I apologize to my guest and my husband for your rude intrusion. Good day detective.” I gave him my coldest sneer and almost pushed him out the door. When we heard the downstairs door shut I almost danced around. “John! A seven. And they're begging for us. Can we darling? We can bring Tess. If they've asked for me they can't deny me can they? John?”

John rolled his eyes. “Darling what are the chances I would say no? This is the first case we've been offered since we got back and it's in a consulate! Of course we're saying yes. Tess, want to watch us in action? Sherlock is something else when he's on a case.”

Tess smiled and shrugged, “I don't know if I want to be dragged around in front of posh politicians and their perfectly groomed assistants. I'm not normally vain but I think this occasion warrants some consideration.”

“There's nothing easier our darling. Let me call someone.” I dialed Claire's. With a voice dripping with impatience and sarcasm I reduced the same shop girl to tears and had her begging me to send Tess to her on the instant. I agreed sulkily and hung up abruptly. “There you go our darling. The finest salon in London awaits you.”

Tess's laughter pealed out. “Marvelous Sherlock. Holy fuck that took you only two minutes. Even at the village I have to wait a bit to get into our local shop. Very well. Have a cab waiting for me. John give me back that credit card. Why don't you boys go pack up my room and just bring my things here.”

I was over the moon with happiness. I ran out and flagged down a cab for Tess while still in my robe. I made the man wait while I ran back upstairs. John was helping Tess into her coat, his card firmly in her hand. “Anything you want our darling. Spoil yourself. Come back here when you're done and we can dress to kill.” John gave her a kiss and a pat on her bottom. I kissed Tess's cheeks tenderly and escorted her to the cab.

I thundered back upstairs, shouting to Mrs Hudson. “Case Mrs Hudson. Send up whoever is bringing the files.” John and I hurried to dress. We chose suits from our new collection and made sure we were perfectly groomed. We hailed another cab and gathered up Tess's possessions and returned them to 221B.


End file.
